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Anger is one hell of a drug.

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Outdated said:
It pays to remember that we are Apex Predators. Whilst we now wear the trappings of civility that hasn't really changed, we are still predators.
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I'm going a bit off-topic so won't elaborate here, but I was thinking about this idea of being at the top of the food chain, and then thought of all the biological entities that feed off us, and even kill us - prions, viruses, bacteria and other microscopic parasites, even insects, worms, fungi and more. So are we only apex from an anthropic perspective, and in reality it's a circle not a pyramid, and we just occupy one small section?
 
With the acceptance that nobody in my blood family will ever take me seriously, there comes a sense of liberation. I no longer have to even try with them anymore. I can move on.
 
Boogs said:
I'm going a bit off-topic so won't elaborate here, but I was thinking about this idea of being at the top of the food chain, and then thought of all the biological entities that feed off us, and even kill us - prions, viruses, bacteria and other microscopic parasites, even insects, worms, fungi and more. So are we only apex from an anthropic perspective, and in reality it's a circle not a pyramid, and we just occupy one small section?
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More likely the case. Ever see Great White sharks get their livers eaten out of them by orcas? Ever see a lion being killed by a group of hyenas? No matter how big and tough you seem to think you are, there's someone out there that's even more so, or it could be the tiniest, most innocuous thing. Mosquito-borne diseases kill all manner of creatures. Being "top of the food chain" or an "apex predator" certainly does not mean invincibility.
 
Metalhead said:
With the acceptance that nobody in my blood family will ever take me seriously, there comes a sense of liberation. I no longer have to even try with them anymore. I can move on.
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I could write many pages on the traumas I have been subjected to and others I have witnessed. But they are meaningless.

Age 10 molested by a stranger in the zoo.
Age 13 a friend was murdered by the local cop because he was black.
Age 14 school staff tried to molest me.
Age 15 another friend was very brutally tortured and murdered because he looked like he might be gay.

And that's before I finished highschool. There was plenty more that followed. If I was to dwell on that sort of crap my whole life would have been miserable. But it only has meaning if I give it meaning.

The people that perpetrated these acts have no meaning and no importance in my life. I simply refuse to let anyone have that sort of power over my life.
 
"Whining" or whatever you want to call it (I prefer "expressing one's feelings") shouldn't be discouraged or demonised. It's a way of getting things off your chest. You're only human after all, and you aren't hurting anyone by doing so. It is better to express your feelings by venting online than to bottle it all up until you reach your limit where you may do something you might regret.
 
Misty Avich said:
"Whining" or whatever you want to call it (I prefer "expressing one's feelings") shouldn't be discouraged or demonised. It's a way of getting things off your chest. You're only human after all, and you aren't hurting anyone by doing so. It is better to express your feelings by venting online than to bottle it all up until you reach your limit where you may do something you might regret.
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True, but doing it for years on end instead of trying to find a way to legitimately make myself feel better about life is something that perhaps should be discouraged.
 
Misty Avich said:
"Whining" or whatever you want to call it (I prefer "expressing one's feelings") shouldn't be discouraged or demonised. It's a way of getting things off your chest. You're only human after all, and you aren't hurting anyone by doing so. It is better to express your feelings by venting online than to bottle it all up until you reach your limit where you may do something you might regret.
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Well, you probably are correct about that, but rather naive of the male experience,... "It's been a pretty much consistent cultural norm across time and the world that men are considered "weak" if they express their emotions. In any position of power and authority, males are absolutely not allowed to demonstrate emotional vulnerability, as all respect is lost immediately. Even within the typical family dynamic, fathers and husbands will lose that respect. Men NEVER receive unconditional respect or love. It's always on the condition that they have high degrees of emotional self-control and self-discipline and are providers. It's likely why their female partners get so upset and reject their male partners when they do express their emotions. Given the consistency of this type of behavior across time and cultures, I am inclined to think this is almost an instinctual protective mechanism that heterosexual men have when interacting with women."

All I can suggest for men is that if and when you do express your negative emotions, just do it in private. Culturally, I am afraid we haven't gotten to that point where men can safely express their negative emotions without negative consequences. Furthermore, we are so used to suppressing our emotions, 24/7, 365, for years, that we have lost the intellectual tools to actually know how to safely release that emotional buildup. The women in our lives, if exposed to it, frankly, it's traumatizing to them. They get quite upset, then we end up apologizing for upsetting them. It's a no-win situation. Women who claim they want the men in their lives to open up and share their emotions are horribly naive and immediately regret even thinking it when it does happen. My wife has only seen glimpses of it over the past 40 years, and she immediately runs the other way. I am absolutely NOT allowed to share my emotions, for the negative repercussions of it are too prohibitive. I have discussed this topic with others and this experience seems to be universal amongst other men and their partners.

Imagine, if you will, a caged lion, pacing back and forth. All that testosterone, aggression, frustration, anger, predatory instinct, all on a slow simmer, for years and years. Every time you look at another male, you are sizing them up as a potential competitor. Every time you look at a female, you are assessing them as a potential mate. It is primal. It is animal. All of that is pushed down deep, but it's still there. This is the male experience. Trying to be calm and in control of all of that, all the time. I don't think the females in their lives have any idea of the level of restraint we are exhibiting, all the time. This is why there is great danger in allowing young boys, teens, and men to filter their actions through their feelings. NO good comes of this. This is how violent crimes are committed. We cannot have this.
 
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Thank you for the raw honesty @Neonatal RRT . It is quite enlightening. I feel out of touch with both the male and female emotional experience. My own husband dragged me to the therapist for perceived lack of intimacy / opening up.
 
Boogs said:
If I had to guess I'd say anger is likely a survival (long or short term) reaction,
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In some instances, perhaps, but intelligence trumps anger, often.

If a mammoth bumps you unintentionally at the super market, it is best to not push back in anger.
It is better to surreptitiously follow it to its home and put doggy doo doo in its letter box instead. :cool:
 
Neonatal RRT said:
God bless you, for most women hold it against us when we do.
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I remember a guy I used to work with arrived to work one day with teary eyes because his dog had passed away the night before. I really felt for him and I actually admired him for showing his feelings like that. I thought it's healthy to cry after losing a pet.

I remember another guy at work was crying with anxiety because of the pandemic back in 2020. He had an anxiety disorder like me so I knew how he felt.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
Well, you probably are correct about that, but rather naive of the male experience,...
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I've had a very good social life most of my life. I'm pretty quiet these days simply because I'm older and less inclined, but I can state absolutely and categorically that to always be whingeing and complaining drives people away. Me included.

But the choice is yours.
 
Jonn said:
In some instances, perhaps, but intelligence trumps anger, often.

If a mammoth bumps you unintentionally at the super market, it is best to not push back in anger.
It is better to surreptitiously follow it to its home and put doggy doo doo in its letter box instead. :cool:
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I'd say you'd have to be pretty angry to go to all that trouble and mess! 😄
 
Boogs said:
I'd say you'd have to be pretty angry to go to all that trouble and mess! 😄
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Have you never heard of the phrase:
"Revenge is best served cold"?
But in this case it would be put in a microwave first and served steaming hot. 🤣
 
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