Anyone here feel totally hate their condition?

[AspieChris]

I'm not really a proud person. I actually hate, compliments, praise, sympathy and I know I will never like myself because I've felt this way for quite a few years and it's gotten worse.

I feel the same about compliments. I hate them. Too many eyes looking in my direction. I hate being the center of attention and a compliment means that someone is looking at me. I even started telling people years ago to please not buy me presents at Christmas and my birthday because everyone always wants to watch me open my gifts and it makes me very uncomfortable. (I lied and said it was because I already have more than I need).

 

[Amethystgirl]

Thank you everyone for trying to make me feel good. However, I only wanted to ask if anyone hates their condition like I do. I can't change the way I feel and I appreciate if everyone here would respect that. Thank you.

 

[tree]

I hate my condition and I feel I'm not a good person because I have major low self esteem issues. Anyone here feel similar?

What condition is it that you hate?

Saying that you feel you're not a good person
because you have major low self esteem issues
in circular thinking.

Yes, there may be some other people who feel
as you do. I'm not one of them, but there may
be others who do.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I hate having autism, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. Can everyone please respect the fact I don't want to change? Please.

 

[tree]

I'm not trying to get you to change.
I'm trying to figure out what you're talking about.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I hate my condition/conditions because I do things like neurotypicals. I don't like my mind. I can't change.

 

[Swansong]

I doubt anyone specially likes having at the very least a very troublesome condition that very often is borderline disabling.

 

[AspieChris]

I hate my condition/conditions because I do things like neurotypicals. I don't like my mind. I can't change.

I hate myself too. My condition hurts the only person who loves me. My wife. We can barely travel. I have meltdowns regularly. And we have a child who is exactly like me. I feel like an asshole.

Trust me when I say that you are NOT alone.

 

[Wolfnox]

If you ever ask yourself who you want to be and who you are how close would you be to who you want to be?

 

[Amethystgirl]

Wolfnox, I'm don't know what you are talking about and it's too abstract for me. I think in a different way. Please respect that.

 

[Luca]

I don’t hate it at all. Sometimes I get frustrated with certain things about myself (whether they’re related to autism or not) but I think we all do.

 

[tree]

I hate my condition/conditions because I do things like neurotypicals. I don't like my mind. I can't change.

What does "I do things like neurotypicals" mean?

 

[Amethystgirl]

Neurotypicals are people who aren't autistic and don't have other conditions. So I would like to drive, have a job, have more friends or be in a relationship. Or finish high school properly and go to university or college.

 

[tree]

Neurotypicals are people who aren't autistic and don't have other conditions.

I am aware of that.

What I am asking is what you mean by saying
"I do things like neurotypicals."

 

[Amethystgirl]

I just explained it to you. I would like to drive, have a job, have more friends or be in a relationship. Or finish high school properly and go to university or college. Those things that neurotypicals do.

 

[AspieChris]

If you ever ask yourself who you want to be and who you are how close would you be to who you want to be?

You’re smart. I can tell. So smart that the normal questions are never going to get you the answers you are looking for.

I’m almost 50. Self diagnosed at 35. Married. Child. House. 32 years at the same gigantic company.

It sucks in ways that nobody but us would or could understand.

Happiness comes in small pieces. Unfortunately it’s a chocolate bar or a can of soda, maybe a concert or a new car.

Am I where I wanted to be? It’s not ‘where’ sometimes. It’s sometimes ‘if’ I want to be at all. Happiness is usually how we compare ourselves to other’s lives.

It’s a whole lot better to figure out how to be happy and exist in this world that seems to not make sense.

 

[Wolfnox]

You’re smart. I can tell. So smart that the normal questions are never going to get you the answers you are looking for.

I’m almost 50. Self diagnosed at 35. Married. Child. House. 32 years at the same gigantic company.

It sucks in ways that nobody but us would or could understand.

Happiness comes in small pieces. Unfortunately it’s a chocolate bar or a can of soda, maybe a concert or a new car.

Am I where I wanted to be? It’s not ‘where’ sometimes. It’s sometimes ‘if’ I want to be at all. Happiness is usually how we compare ourselves to other’s lives.

It’s a whole lot better to figure out how to be happy and exist in this world that seems to not make sense.

Existence isn’t easy. But, you’re doing well for yourself I’d say.

 

[Misery]

For me personally it sorta depends.

Like, if I consider the condition *as a whole*, and how it all functions for me and what it does? I would not want to get rid of it. I see it as part of who I am.

But there are certain specific aspects that I sure do wish I could turn off. And I haaaaaaaaaate those bits.

Though my view on it all has changed over the years. Back in high school, I hated all of it, not just those bits (and hated basically everything else, too). Not sure exactly when that changed.

 

[Progster]

I don't hate my condition, but do hate some of the side effects like anxiety.
You might not be albe to do anything about the ASD, but many of its side effects can be managed.

 

[Outdated]

I always thought I was born doubly blessed and it's not my fault if the rest of the world doesn't appreciate me as well as it should.