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Are aspies and auties boring people?
- Thread starter Mia
- Start date
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- life peace quiet tranquility
By the world's standards, I am boring and in truth, when asked what do I do, I often say: you will die of boredom, so best keep quiet. And I know well enough, it is allowing society to dictate how a person's life should be.
I hate arguments and drama too, but sadly, suffer from anger with when there is a lack of logic involved and anyone listening in, would laugh at the notion that I prefer a quiet life! In fact, I take meds to calm my anger down and it works. I even go into surreal mode, when there is drama.
I hate arguments and drama too, but sadly, suffer from anger with when there is a lack of logic involved and anyone listening in, would laugh at the notion that I prefer a quiet life! In fact, I take meds to calm my anger down and it works. I even go into surreal mode, when there is drama.
Gracey
Well-Known Member
When my children were a lot younger they all went through a ‘what & why?’ phase.
What does that do? Or what is that for? And why? ...
... because x, y & z ...
Yeh, but why?
Because of q, r & s,
Why r & s?
r & s is important because ....
You get the drift.
I felt frustrated with the answers “just because !”
and “because I said so!” When growing up so decided I wasn’t going to do the same for mine.
They couldn’t get enough of those answers when younger,
When they reached an age of trying out their cool identities, just like their peers,
They’d still ask the whats and whys but cut my answers short with “yeah, yeah, okay mum”
Mentally, rolling their eyes I imagine
I’d become rambling and dull.
Uncool.
What does that do? Or what is that for? And why? ...
... because x, y & z ...
Yeh, but why?
Because of q, r & s,
Why r & s?
r & s is important because ....
You get the drift.
I felt frustrated with the answers “just because !”
and “because I said so!” When growing up so decided I wasn’t going to do the same for mine.
They couldn’t get enough of those answers when younger,
When they reached an age of trying out their cool identities, just like their peers,
They’d still ask the whats and whys but cut my answers short with “yeah, yeah, okay mum”
Mentally, rolling their eyes I imagine
I’d become rambling and dull.
Uncool.
Nauti
Well-Known Member
I don't think Canadians are inherently boring. One of the most interesting people alive (I think) is Canadian. His material and views are my current interest (see obsession).
My partner tells me all the time that "I'm fun" so no, I don't believe I am boring, although, I know, I can (and have) certainly bore(d) people.
I haven't experienced boredom since I was a young teen, and, in my opinion, and this is what I told my kids, "boredom is something boring people experience. Life is full of things that are way too interesting to waste a moment being bored". However, having said that, I do find the idea of conversing with most people, boring (or maybe frightening? I'm not sure).
My kid (13) tells me I'm boring, but then he certainly seeks out my company and conversation a great deal and tells me that I'm the only person he truly trusts.
I have had plenty of people say to me "You should write a book about your life", apparently, my life has been "very interesting" (see stressful, chaotic, and very difficult with lots of adversity, foolishness and naivity, on my part). I am smart but oh so clueless, inept and immature in sooooo many ways.
My partner tells me all the time that "I'm fun" so no, I don't believe I am boring, although, I know, I can (and have) certainly bore(d) people.
I haven't experienced boredom since I was a young teen, and, in my opinion, and this is what I told my kids, "boredom is something boring people experience. Life is full of things that are way too interesting to waste a moment being bored". However, having said that, I do find the idea of conversing with most people, boring (or maybe frightening? I'm not sure).
My kid (13) tells me I'm boring, but then he certainly seeks out my company and conversation a great deal and tells me that I'm the only person he truly trusts.
I have had plenty of people say to me "You should write a book about your life", apparently, my life has been "very interesting" (see stressful, chaotic, and very difficult with lots of adversity, foolishness and naivity, on my part). I am smart but oh so clueless, inept and immature in sooooo many ways.
If the above was a poll, my bet is there would be100% yes votes
Bronzelincolns
Well-Known Member
I think my life is mine, and if someone doesn't like it they can keep it movin'.
Ah man.
I've just read this thread again.
We're so boring
I've just read this thread again.
We're so boring
Prometheus
Active Member
HEY YOU, Reading this RIGHT NOW. Did you Know what the the Secret to Everlasting happiness is?, Or the reason why we exist?, Or Just what is the secret to eternal wealth, fun, joy beauty and amazing shocking Universal.......am I boring you. yeah, I thought so.
I am a lot of things but boring is not one of them. I can actually be too much for a lot of people.
And I don't generally find other autistic people boring at all. I find that we have much more valuable and interesting conversations than I do with anyone else.
And I don't generally find other autistic people boring at all. I find that we have much more valuable and interesting conversations than I do with anyone else.
For what it's worth, I find many of your commentaries quite interesting.
As for the OP's comments, she is anything but boring. Just wish she'd come back. You are missed, @Mia.
Least boring people I know. Some personal examples include:
-My partner who is also autistic
-An old friend I know online who got diagnosed a couple years ago
-All the nice and fun people on this forum
For myself I can't judge. We are our own worst critics. I think I'm boring but some people might disagree. I can't say.
-My partner who is also autistic
-An old friend I know online who got diagnosed a couple years ago
-All the nice and fun people on this forum
For myself I can't judge. We are our own worst critics. I think I'm boring but some people might disagree. I can't say.
Yes, I disagree! I think you’re fascinating, clever, creative and kind. None of which are boring!
The Lorax
Well-Known Member
Friendly NT here.....
There could be a few reasons why people see aspies as boring. Living with 2 aspies gives me some perspective.
# Due to aspies being overstimulated by the environment this impacts how exciting it is to be around other people or noisy environments that NTs don't consider noisy.
#2 Intellect. I am to assume from the many posts I have read on this website that the aspies posting are of reasonably high intelligence. On top of all this aspies are out of the box thinkers. It is very difficult for an aspie that isn't motivated by social interactions and lacks the natural ability for social interactions to communicate well with the majority of the population which is below their intellectual capacity. If you are smart and especially if you focus on one field then find people as smart as you. The conversation will be exciting.
I can talk to anyone about anything. As an NT I enjoy social interaction even if it is non-intellectual. Why? Because I like helping people. I also like making people happy with a compliment. But often I have to limit my conversation topics to simpler things and small talk, One thing I learned from my 2 aspies is the how much small talk NTs do just for social acceptance. Small talk are openers to see how someone feels and if they are approachable.
But the times I am really energetic to talk to people is when I find intellectual equals. For example my wife and I went to a Mensa lunch meetup. We met some of the most interesting people to have conversation with. They came from all sorts of background. Engineer, physicist, writer, psychologist, coder. A lot of high brow discussions. My introvert aspie wife had a great time.
#3 NTs often talk about social issues which aspies really aren't interested in. Like gossip about so and so. You want to talk about nuclear physics or the abstract style of Picasso and all they want to know is if Suzy is dating 1 or 2 different men and how she keeps them apart while judging her morally. Aspies generally don't judge people like that.
#4 If you are an introvert, well yea it's tough to be exciting. You can be good with just one person. But a crowd is tough. Your energy gets expended quickly around others. There could be a link with introverted NTs and some autistic genetics. Autism is a spectrum and what gets labeled is what is observed as out of the range of behaviors accepted on society. My wife is on the spectrum but you can't tell because she falls just under the radar of obvious. She was only diagnosed after my son was. Which explains a lot about her life.
#5 Suggestion might be to ask people questions to find out what interests they have. Yes this is small talk but this isn't "so how is the weather?" conversation. You might find some common ground so the conversation is not boring. NTs love to be asked questions about themselves. People generally love to talk about themselves especially men.
Hope this helps.
There could be a few reasons why people see aspies as boring. Living with 2 aspies gives me some perspective.
# Due to aspies being overstimulated by the environment this impacts how exciting it is to be around other people or noisy environments that NTs don't consider noisy.
#2 Intellect. I am to assume from the many posts I have read on this website that the aspies posting are of reasonably high intelligence. On top of all this aspies are out of the box thinkers. It is very difficult for an aspie that isn't motivated by social interactions and lacks the natural ability for social interactions to communicate well with the majority of the population which is below their intellectual capacity. If you are smart and especially if you focus on one field then find people as smart as you. The conversation will be exciting.
I can talk to anyone about anything. As an NT I enjoy social interaction even if it is non-intellectual. Why? Because I like helping people. I also like making people happy with a compliment. But often I have to limit my conversation topics to simpler things and small talk, One thing I learned from my 2 aspies is the how much small talk NTs do just for social acceptance. Small talk are openers to see how someone feels and if they are approachable.
But the times I am really energetic to talk to people is when I find intellectual equals. For example my wife and I went to a Mensa lunch meetup. We met some of the most interesting people to have conversation with. They came from all sorts of background. Engineer, physicist, writer, psychologist, coder. A lot of high brow discussions. My introvert aspie wife had a great time.
#3 NTs often talk about social issues which aspies really aren't interested in. Like gossip about so and so. You want to talk about nuclear physics or the abstract style of Picasso and all they want to know is if Suzy is dating 1 or 2 different men and how she keeps them apart while judging her morally. Aspies generally don't judge people like that.
#4 If you are an introvert, well yea it's tough to be exciting. You can be good with just one person. But a crowd is tough. Your energy gets expended quickly around others. There could be a link with introverted NTs and some autistic genetics. Autism is a spectrum and what gets labeled is what is observed as out of the range of behaviors accepted on society. My wife is on the spectrum but you can't tell because she falls just under the radar of obvious. She was only diagnosed after my son was. Which explains a lot about her life.
#5 Suggestion might be to ask people questions to find out what interests they have. Yes this is small talk but this isn't "so how is the weather?" conversation. You might find some common ground so the conversation is not boring. NTs love to be asked questions about themselves. People generally love to talk about themselves especially men.
Hope this helps.
I'M currently watching Steven Wolfram Eric Weinstein debating both probably on the spectrum. Wow this is a long way from boring. Weinstein is probably the brightest person I have ever come across
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