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Are people closer to their real selves online or offline?

Interesting topic. I've seen photos of kids posted on facebook that warms your heart to see how much they love each other, and seen the parent posing the kids - "Stop arguing, hug and smile!". And the loving messages to their spouses on facebook that you wonder if that's how they talk at home in private - probably not.

I used to feel freer to speak my opinions until going a month with my son not speaking to me over something I said - now I walk on eggshells on line. I'm not going to do the fake stuff, but I'm not free to say anything I want.

Here, I feel like I can pretty much be myself, though. And home alone I can pretty much be myself. lol
 
Being anonymous, I feel like I can lower my guard more here. I have revealed some things on this forum that I don’t usually share with people I know.
 
I was in my late 30s when it became possible to talk to people over the internet.

I quickly became savage - it was a matter of self defense because strangers on the internet are often savage.

I said bad things to people and probably hurt them.

I try very hard not to do that any more.

Which is my "true self" - the one who responds to savagery with savagery, or the one who tries not to savage others?
 
TBRS1 said:
Which is my "true self" - the one who responds to savagery with savagery, or the one who tries not to savage others?
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I'm of a similar age group to you, in the 90s I got in to online gaming for a while and was involved in several forums but for the most part I found the experience unpleasant and just stopped doing it. I've heard the term "online community" fairly often but it's not a community I want to be part of. Anonymity lets too many people be cruel and mean without having to suffer the consequences that would happen in real life.
 
TBRS1 said:
Which is my "true self" - the one who responds to savagery with savagery, or the one who tries not to savage others?
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Good question. I tend to think the default for humanity is insecure, fearful and aggressive, with the genders expressing it using different methods. Its a cynical view but history would back me up. With the lack of accountability online, this dark side is let off the leash. I think it takes wisdom to be better.
 
thejuice said:
Good question. I tend to think the default for humanity is insecure, fearful and aggressive, with the genders expressing it using different methods. Its a cynical view but history would back me up. With the lack of accountability online, this dark side is let off the leash. I think it takes wisdom to be better.
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Another option is that there IS NO TRUE SELF, there is only the thing one is RIGHT NOW.
 
There's zero modding in that dump. What makes you stay there? You're better than that place.
 
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thejuice said:
You often hear that online isn't 'the real world' don't you.

I'd say people are less inhibited online, although that doesn't necessarily mean they are genuine.
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I think it can go both ways. The only way to really understand this is if you interact with a person in real life and online.

There are some people behind a computer screen that, in my opinion, are more likely to reflect their inner thoughts. It is in my case. There is more anonymity and for some, this creates a "safe space" for them to express themselves. I am more of an "open book" online than I am in real life.

In the case of people I interact with online and in the real world, I sense that what they say online, especially if it has a negative bias, is more reflective of their inner self. In the real world, these same people do a bit of masking to present themselves in a more positive light. They are far less likely to be disagreeable, confrontational, or dark in real life. There are people who can be real bullies and nasty little trolls online, but if you had a conversation with them face-to-face, they probably wouldn't come off that way.

Now, there are those online, and I am thinking of these "influencers", the people who are seeking some sort of positive feedback, perhaps some monetization, that are putting on a good show for you. "Look at me." "Look what I can do." "Press the LIKE button." In this case, they might not be like that in real life, or maybe they are like that when you meet them, but it too, is masking who they really are. In which case, both their online and real life persona is fake.
 
I have anonymity
full
on all but two fora. The only limitation that I have a sense of is whether my offerings will be received as beneficial or dismissed without consideration.

I do not apologize for my positions, but if being a fluid-thinking autistic in a crystalized-thinking* NT world has taught me anything, I see no point in arguing with a wall. That is why I eschew most "left vs. right**" threads.

*generally-speaking.
**I was raised right-leaning, but the realities of autism in my family has moved me more toward center.
 
A lot of people online are honest, genuinely nice people. There's also a lot of hostile sites like 4chan and any forum that's got an 'anything goes' policy is best avoided. You mean bashing others is an acceptable thing to do? I'd be voluntarily outing myself.

It happens a lot if you say Resident Evil 4 is overrated. Despite being one of the later games in that series, it's the one generally regarded as the best because of the action style gameplay it introduced. But you could say they sold out because it went from horror storylines where you looked for keys, to being about straight-up action. There's so much in that game I see as a "betrayal" of the core purpose of the previous games. Yet it always gets so much praise. So if you say anything bad about it, that debate usually never ends well.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
In the case of people I interact with online and in the real world, I sense that what they say online, especially if it has a negative bias, is more reflective of their inner self. In the real world, these same people do a bit of masking to present themselves in a more positive light. They are far less likely to be disagreeable, confrontational, or dark in real life. There are people who can be real bullies and nasty little trolls online, but if you had a conversation with them face-to-face, they probably wouldn't come off that way.
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There is a deadly (quite literally) stalker/gossip forum with a name based on farming a certain citrus fruit that had some of its members doxxed, and their pictures released.
 
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Lemon Zing said:
Are these users making fun of me?

I'm the member named "Cider".

Dating...
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They seem to dislike you for something you were saying on previous threads about hookers, and I don't see you being surprised by their reactions or defending yourself, does it mean you feel that you are partly at fault there? Some people give you good advices, other tell their experiences. A mixed bunch of folks.
 
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