Are you a cuddly person?

[Kalinychta]

I love touching and cuddling.

 

[SusanLR]

Only with someone I feel close with.
That has been very few. Several guys I liked cuddling with.
Hugs from my parents were OK.

Other people I never initiate a hug with and don't care for it.
I knew one fake hugger that always came on with a big grin and a too sweet greeting then runs over and gives a big fake hug. Certainly didn't go for that.

 

[MNAus]

ASD is a funny thing. For me, this volume control problem with sensation goes with the volume control problem on receiving sounds, emotions, textures, tastes, smells, etc. and is so central to how I experience autism. It's woven in with everything: with the overthinking, the anxiety, the social issues, the challenges with surprises. But there are autistic folk that don't have that. Amazing.

Here's a visual representation of my brain when:
- someone hugs me, especially a light touch hug
- a motorbike goes past
- someone eating an apple on the train
- scene in movie where the protagonist is sad but determined to overcome a hardship... and succeeds
- what was that liquid stuff inside whatever it is I just ate?
- what IS that smell?

 

[maycontainthunder]

From humans, no. Dogs yes.

Dog V4 wants to know if anyone would like a hug though.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I don't hug canines, but my wolf hybrids like to lean against me with a good bit of their weight when I pet them.

 

[Suzanne]

I find hugging a strange concept, but when it happens, I do sort of like it and at the same time, I feel very awkward.

 

[SPEED RACER]

I hate it

 

[Southern_Gentleman]

I hate the ambush hug or cuddle, which is a problem at church. There are too many huggers there. There's also a woman at work that constantly wants to put her hands on me. I don't look like Tom Cruise nor am I some sort of talisman, so I wish she'd leave me alone.

On the other hand, if it's someone I'm close to, someone intimate, then cuddling on the couch is nice. The problem is, it has been so many decades that I don't remember what that's like.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I hate the ambush hug or cuddle, which is a problem at church. There are too many huggers there.

For that precise reason, I stopped physically attending and instead started viewing the streamed service online. Last time I physically attended, I wore my Don't Touch Me I'm Autistic T shirt. People looked right at the writing and still wanted to shake hands and hug. One elderly lady did in fact ambush me with a hug

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I love to cuddle! I love cuddling with women I’m attracted to - whether they’re partners or friends. I love the closeness and the warmth. I love to squeeze and be squeezed - I like feeling snug. Even a warm hug from somebody I like feels nice. I don’t like being kissed, though.

I’m also choosy about who I want to cuddle with. Right now there’s nobody I can cuddle with. Not even anyone to give me hugs regularly. I feel very touch starved.

Me too, I have gone so numb to it as well and I wonder whether I like it anymore because I never never experienced it in the way I need which is extremely painful for me in so many ways that I cannot even explain.
Like I go for women's hugs too sometimes more than men hugs. But I like it when it is close family like mother, sister etc.
I grieve and my whole life has become so ruined because I did not have a mother to understand and hug me who understood me.
Even those little bits of attention that only a mother can provide when you have done an excellent piece of work at school or you had a bad day and they take you for a milkshake.
I miss those things.
And wonder how you get it when you are not a child anymore and I personally do not want to stay a child forever.
And I was such a good child anyway. That I know mothers are not perfect but it is nice to have a mother interested in the books you read or just really amazing when you picked out a beautiful present present at the mother's day stall.
If I got my life wrong somehow...I would like to know how because my life is a lot more complicated than others and really easier to trust people you know, no one is a mind reader even people with heightened abilities.
But I love a good hug and occasional kiss and romantic seems the only way you can get it with childhood trauma and say what if you are asexual and not that fond of sex but still like cuddles especially platonic too.
Causes a lot of pain, makes childhood trauma worse and seriously it will wreck my whole life.
And I think asexual is not a box like at times you may feel more sexual than others but still overwhelmingly repulsed at times. So it can swing in all kinds of directions especially for a menstruating woman and that is why my life is wrecked.
Honesty nothing could ever be worse after all the endo issues I have been through that everyone thinks I have imagined and people can just turn into lies in a way to embarrass me.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Also this is off topic and not a misogynist hating issue but I wonder whether there are many women left in the world who are actually compassionate.
And I really struggle thinking most women are superficial and self centred and absorbed.

 

[Shevek]

A hug is the key to reminding me that I'm not in an abusive home now. The essence of a good hug is to hold the other person as if they were a baby, with the positions adjusted for size. That skill with my hands got me a job doing massage at a spa. Touch is so exotic to me that I focus completely. I spent most of my life in hugging cultures, and really miss them now. Cuddles are great, too.

 

[Rodafina]

I wonder whether there are many women left in the world who are actually compassionate.

I assure you, there are many women in the world who are actually compassionate. Lots of them are right here on the forum and do their best to show compassion every single day. If you cannot find evidence of compassionate women in your life, just look to the forum. They are here, and there are many of them.

 

[Kayla55]

Also this is off topic and not a misogynist hating issue but I wonder whether there are many women left in the world who are actually compassionate.
And I really struggle thinking most women are superficial and self centred and absorbed.

Ye, I think we different. I was so relieved when some asd men on forum said only women ever loved was wife. Wow so asd is compatible in small way....be it asd parents, partner but not NT.
My NT son drives me nuts, he comes in room mocking things over and over, repeating things he learns, noisy loud sometimes think he's ADHD as he doesn't stop. I really struggle to relate, wonder if my parenting style and guidance will just never suit him.
My Mom was a cold sushi fish....always going out to friends, buying books n crystals. It was as if I had younger sister...you not alone. They say asd is not narcissistic parent but she was exactly as you described. In beginning I preferred her to my dad as she more open and accepting but in the end we need mom's who set us boundaries, who know how to teach asd daughter about life n love.
I left her behind at old age home, just tired of her episodes and selfish missions, she is in court fighting staff who want to transfer her to psychiatric. I keep my own space, don't bother other people...she can read books, garden but she insists on shopping sprees to blow my brother's money, argues with cooks, kicks kitchen door and behaves worse than Cleopatra.
My other son we can sit quietly in same room, being busy. Despite never allowing Mom to go out and screaming, not wanting people around...he would sit in my arms peacefully and hardly ever bothered me.
I took him as toddler to beach and he loved swimming in waves that day....I think it was first time we really bonded....I always felt people around and not having space I tend to not relax, be myself or enjoy my life.
Repeat to this day: masking is not me getting better, it is you trying change me to live unhappy. I am who I am, that makes me happy. No, I'm tired dance lessons ....it's not me.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Yes, I do adore cuddling.

I greatly desire the blissful comfort of holding and being held.

That being said, I don't allow just anyone to touch me.

I guard my body. I have to really trust the person and feel true, overwhelming affection. If both those boxes are checked, then yes, I'm cuddly, for hours and hours.

 

[Levitat0r]

You know, I remember way before I got diagnosed my mom used to say that me enjoying hugs was an indicator that I wasn’t autistic. I kinda thought that was weird because yes I love hugs but only under certain circumstances. But then again that was years ago and obviously I’m diagnosed now and my mom has better educated herself on autism since then

Well, I remember being told by counseling staff who I am, and that it's me that doesn't desire social contact, and they misdiagnosed me with something worse than autism, because they were a bunch of nasty bigots, who were probably being told nonsense by someone else. I actually desperately enjoy contact with other people, as long as it's someone friendly, and not someone who detests you because they think you're funny-looking.

I'm convinced a lot of the symptoms are a manner of hypersensitivity, so they're not black and white. If I've had a while to acclimate to someone, and if we're getting along, my eyes eventually stop darting away from theirs, but it's something that requires a level of intimacy to be established. I'm thinking about experimenting and just forcing myself to look people in the eyes, and we'll see if they think invent some new reason to conclude I'm insufferable. People tell me I look angry in my pictures, but I'm just focused. So, what are they going to think when I'm focused on complying with their eye contact standards?

And there's a lack of self-awareness on both sides. They don't go "This guy works differently". They go "I don't like the look of this guy". And then I've seen how they treat people with (obvious) physical abnormalities, and I realize that even if it occurred to them you're put together differently, they still wouldn't be kind.

 

[Levitat0r]

It's a fact which I have confirmed from empirical research.

 

[Judge]

Strangers and acquaintances, absolutely not.

People I'm on intimate terms with, that's fine. Even nice.

 

[Xinyta]

Truthfully. I am not fond of hugs and/or cuddling. It's about the only time I really feel closterphobic. Also it gets akward really quick for me.

I could hug dogs. But that's because I know I won't get squeezed into a cuddle. The most that will happen is getting my face licked.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Truthfully. I am not fond of hugs and/or cuddling. It's about the only time I really feel closterphobic. Also it gets akward really quick for me.

I could hug dogs. But that's because I know I won't get squeezed into a cuddle. The most that will happen is getting my face licked.

You just gave me the mental image of someone hugging someone and licking their face!