Are you blunt? People tell you that you should not have said that?

[OkRad]

Complete sidebar : just been listening to a podcast about the egyptian festival of drunkeness.
The god hathor. Their way to get in touch with the spirit world. Serious stuff.

Dionysus, bachus, not sure if hathos is the equivalent.

(Ty btw)

Looking this up now!!

 

[Streetwise]

Complete sidebar : just been listening to a podcast about the egyptian festival of drunkeness.
The god hathor. Their way to get in touch with the spirit world. Serious stuff.

Dionysus, bachus, not sure if hathos is the equivalent.

(Ty btw)

Ever thought of going to a Christian church many people become drunk in the holy spirit it might be interesting to compare the difference between being drunk with alcohol and the holy spirit I've never been drunk with alcohol so I wouldn't know the difference .

 

[Streetwise]

Complete sidebar : just been listening to a podcast about the egyptian festival of drunkeness.
The god hathor. Their way to get in touch with the spirit world. Serious stuff.

Dionysus, bachus, not sure if hathos is the equivalent.

(Ty btw)

Is Hathos another equivalent of Hathor?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Is Hathos another equivalent of Hathor?

Thanks for the new word! I dont think its related.

A while since i was at church, but interesting idea.

 

[xudo]

Yes, very blunt.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Yes, very blunt.

Glad no one asked you what the baby looked like yesterday.,,

 

[xudo]

Glad no one asked you what the baby looked like yesterday.,,

When I had the text to say she'd been born, and photos of her I replied "It's a baby."

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

When I had the text to say she'd been born, and photos of her I replied "It's a baby."

Untoppable!!

I remember talking to someone who just became a father. I said
‘What kind did you get? Was it one of the main two?

 

[OlLiE]

i'm blunt in the sense that pe at work when communicating about what i think should be done, i (try to) approach it from a rational point of view, how that makes other people feel never enters in my mind

but i'm 'honestly' blunt

i've actually been to my boss and told him that i didn't see the point of my job, that it could be rationalised away to save the company money, and that i'd be happy to look for something else i could be useful for in the company

i don't mind being called blunt, i just see it as being honest, when people get upset about it, i tend to think that it s because they feel threatened or have hangups and don't like to hear the unsalted truth

the main risk to being this way is if your reasoning isn't accurate, and you are then blunt, well, you tend to look like a mean prick, people won't accept that you just made a mistake

 

[Ameriblush]

Definately. I have a friend of mine in a tough situation right now in another state. Her family is mistreating her and her siblings, but she's just kind of rolling over and accepting it, thinking it's her own fault or it'll pass.

I get cold and angry, then point out the obvious fact that she's being taken advantage of. I realized that alot of people these days blame themselves or pull the wool over their own eyes that there's nothing wrong. And in a culture of individuality, it' hard to think a whole network of people might be the problem-- it' easier to think that only you are the cause of not having something, like personal freedom.

 

[Manuheleku]

F*ck yeah.

 

[Manuheleku]

i'm blunt in the sense that pe at work when communicating about what i think should be done, i (try to) approach it from a rational point of view, how that makes other people feel never enters in my mind

but i'm 'honestly' blunt

i've actually been to my boss and told him that i didn't see the point of my job, that it could be rationalised away to save the company money, and that i'd be happy to look for something else i could be useful for in the company

i don't mind being called blunt, i just see it as being honest, when people get upset about it, i tend to think that it s because they feel threatened or have hangups and don't like to hear the unsalted truth

the main risk to being this way is if your reasoning isn't accurate, and you are then blunt, well, you tend to look like a mean prick, people won't accept that you just made a mistake

I tell my boss how to do his job. It was sort of an issue but he's used to it now. Probably appreciates it. He knows that I don't want his job.

 

[SunnyDay16]

I guess it depends on the situation. I've come to realize that when people tell you about their situations they don't usually want your honest opinion but assurance and a listening ear. Even when they ask for advice, they still most likely don't want your advice unless it suits them. If someone is in a dangerous situation or engaging in destructive behaviors then I feel that those are the right times to be blunt, but I generally avoid it.

Truth is that people, especially NTs, are extremely sensitive and will take anything the wrong way, even if worded nicely. I just don't feel like opening a can of worms when it's not needed.

 

[Nightingale121]

Glad no one asked you what the baby looked like yesterday.,,

When I had the text to say she'd been born, and photos of her I replied "It's a baby."

This reminds me of this scene:

Maybe that quote is an option for the next time?

Okay, back to the actual topic:
Yes, I tend to be too blunt occasionally without even realizing that it upsets someone. At least not in the situation. If someone tells me about it afterwards or if I think more about it, I'll rather be able to understand my mistake though this is not always the case.
Until then the following can happen as well though like @Ambi said:

Worse. At least if I were blunt, I think I would be concise. Instead I elaborate on and on about exactly why I hold such and such opinion that others consider abrasive or harsh.

If I don't realize soon enough that I have already reached the point of upsetting someone with a blunt statement, I'll sometimes just go on with this and elaborate on my blunt statement, possibly making it worse.

So, sometimes it's accidentially too much of being blunt, but it's also like @Voltaic said:

My own view on this whole thing is that because I am inherently bad at understanding sub-communication. I can't pick up on these signals and face the problem face to face. Also because of this, I can never tell if someone is telling the truth, if they mean what they are actually saying, or if it means something else. It gives me a lot of anxiety, so much in fact, that I would rather them hit me with the hard truth upfront. Tell me I'm being an jerk, tell me you are not happy with me, tell me the worst thing about how you view me upfront, so I don't have to guess, which often times tells me something worse.

It's just easier for me to understand blunt statements. So I prefer them for more understandable conversations. I'm not very good at picking up these signals, but I'm not good at sending them either, so I usually go for the blunt statements instead of doing all the sub-communication. I don't like the "guessing game" and sometimes forget that others prefer other options rather than my approach and that not everyone needs or wants this kind of communication.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Firstly I think women tend to use cues rather than direct confrontation because other women are generally much better at picking up on them. They don't understand why men need to have things spelled out.
Second it is far less likely to lead to an argument which often means frayed tempers and things said which otherwise wouldn't be. Once things are said they can't be unsaid. In my own case, I can never apologize and say I didn't mean it.....because I only say things I mean. However I often wish I hadn't said them and wouldn't have done if emotions hadn't reached a point of no filter.
Many people are not comfortable with confrontation and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Therefore it follows that they will also avoid people who have a combative way of expressing themselves.

Edit.
I just realized another reason why I personally try to avoid situations which could potentially escalate, is because I'm highly sensitive to anything I perceive as criticism. Having been brought up by a narcissist mother who constantly criticized and denigrated me, I know my buttons can be pressed very easily. Once this happens and I get emotional, it can lead to a full blown meltdown which can take days, weeks or even months to recover from. Therefore, I will avoid going there if I can. That said though, I won't be bullied by anyone and will always defend myself regardless of the consequences. It can be a very fine line!

I also think women are less overt because they are conditioned to be that way by society. I know I was. I was conditioned to be "smiley" and polite, and I have a feeling it was because I was a girl and that's what girls are supposed to be.

 

[OrSomething]

Truth is that people, especially NTs, are extremely sensitive and will take anything the wrong way, even if worded nicely. I just don't feel like opening a can of worms when it's not needed.

My experience has been the opposite - that I am sensitive to even small things, while NTs don't seem to get hurt by much.

 

[Jacoby]

Sometimes, sometimes not. A lot of the time with people I don't know very well or when I am in an uncomfortable situation I think I way more avoidant and superficial.

 

[SunnyDay16]

My experience has been the opposite - that I am sensitive to even small things, while NTs don't seem to get hurt by much.

I am rather sensitive to things too, but to different things than most. I can become sensitive to jokes, whereas NTs are more likely to just laugh the jokes off. I am also rather sensitive to criticism, particularly in the social area, because I'm already hard on myself regarding that.

 

[Adora]

My experience has been the opposite - that I am sensitive to even small things, while NTs don't seem to get hurt by much.

I’m the same,I can be hypersensitive and actually find people who are not on the spectrum to be not as easily hurt by things or bothered by stuff that may annoy me.

 

[Adora]

I’m actually polite but I do recall being a bit more blunt when younger,when I was nine years old there was moment where I was talking to my year 4 teacher and I don’t remember what I said but I do remember that it wasn’t anything that I thought was considered rude or upbrupt but my teacher got really angry at me and said that my tone was rude and I spoke to her in a upbrupt way,it confused me since I wasn’t saying anything mean but she ended up grabbing me by my arm and dragged me into another classroom and complained about me to another teacher,from that day on she would correct how I spoke but maybe that contributed to why I try to be as polite as I can though sometimes I still come across as a bit distant and hard to get to know.