Are you content in your isolation?

[total-recoil]

The worst for me is when mty best friend sometimes ignores me. We sort of love each other to pieces but sometimes she seems to ignore me and I get sensitive to it. Last night I walked in to say "Hi!" and she smiled but hardly left off texting. So, off I went in a huff. It was like, "See ya!" and she said "Fine!" Then later on she texted and apologised. Apparently she had been feeling unwell and a bit off side so that's all it was. So, I then played doctor and made a fuss of her as we texted. I told her a couple of weeks ago I was sure I have aspergers and she tried her best to understand. She said it's just a term and "you are who you are". I do very often get mega touchy, though, if she ignores me. Funny because my German Shepherd will rip up his blankets if I use my mobile phone and ignore him. He does it to force me off the phone and attention back to him.

 

[Rhymer]

I like my isolation but I'm also aware that I have missed out on so many opportunities in life due to my lack of having the ability to talk/deal/handle people due to my AS and preferring my own company to others etc.

 

[Progster]

When I was younger I used to crave friendships, and got upset that I didn't have many friends or didn't get included in conversations or social events, but since I've grown older and since my discovery of Aspergers, I'm happy in my own company and don't seek the company of others very often. When I was a a teenager to being in my 20s, I used to go along to social events when I had the opportunity, but when I got there I always felt detached and isolated and couldn't join in the conversation, so after an hour or so I got really bored, fed up and got up and went for a walk, preferring to be by myself than trying to keep up the pretense that I was part of the group when really I wasn't. I don't like socialising in a group, especially not things like parties where people just sit around and talk and don't do anything else - that's just so boring, but do I enjoy doing activities with one other person or a very small group, such as hiking, playing games or going to the cinema.

 

[pushpin]

In general, yes, I enjoy my isolation. But, I enjoy it only when it is self-imposed.


Currently, I'm in a space where I want to connect with others in a certain way and can't find someone. It sucks.

 

[Aspieistj]

I choose to be alone so I can't irritate NTs and they can't criticize me. It is very inconvenient if I ever need a "buddy" to do something like accompanying me to a medical procedure that includes any sedation. I am also frustrated that I can't find a compatible buddy to go on fabulous vacations with me. I hate to attract attention, curiosity, or sympathy by doing something like going on a cruise alone. I hate to do things like hailing a cab and I am quite nervous about making a mistake if I attempt to use a subway or figure out a bus schedule. I would LOVE to take a fancy trip with all Aspies. I figure I might get some understanding there and would take a chance on asking for a little help from another Aspie. However, I definitely want to be alone as much as possible. I am even irritate when my phone rings, and it seldom does.

When I was in 8th grade I had no idea why so many people avoided me or were downright nasty to me. (I didn't learn I was an Aspie until I was in my early 60s.) I wrote this poem and it was published in the school newspaper:

I like to be alone sometimes, in fact, it's most the time
That I would like to steal away from several friends of mine.
They say this isn't always nice, to that I will agree
But sometimes I think it is they who want to go from me.

I guess I knew more about myself then I understood.

 

[Spiller]

I went to see the psychiatrist yesterday, he was some guy I only had to pay $10 to see because it was through the government. this guy said that he doesn't think most of my problems stem from my aspergers because most aspies just don't like being social and are content in their isolation. So I'm just wondering how many of you are content with social isolation?

Hey cheetoe80, firstly, please allow me to say, your psychiatrist sucks! I hate that clinical generalisation, "All Aspies don't like being social and are content in their isolation". It shows his complete lack of understanding of Aspergers Syndrome.
I've had meltdowns due to narrow minded councellors and therapists telling me I can't have Aspergers as I can make eye contact.. only because I practiced for 20 years in order to not be so isolated,.. also, I now find some peoples' eyes fascinating and tend to stare
I need downtime to recharge, but I seriously need to socialise or I get suicidally depressed if I'm too isolated. I've learned to look and act reasonably typically, certainly compared to how I was in my teens and I'm working on the social aspect, joining my local Aspie and Mental Health groups and such, though social anxiety is a problem there, but I've got a positive mental attitude, dude!

 

[adamindeltona]

I enjoy company and friendship. Everyone needs love. Loneliness hurts and it does hurt me.

This is how feel a lot of the time. Being lonely is a continual sadness, the hurt is crushing. But it's better than the stress and pain of trying to associate with people. After a while the rejection is too much to bear, so you learn to accept and adjust to being alone.

At least for me, I don't "want" to be alone, it's just easier :-/

 

[113]

this guy said that he doesn't think most of my problems stem from my aspergers because most aspies just don't like being social and are content in their isolation.

I have no close friends and am not content with that, but I would rather be alone than have friends who don't share my interests. Complete isolation is terrible.

 

[pushpin]

I have no close friends and am not content with that, but I would rather be alone than have friends who don't share my interests. Complete isolation is terrible.

This is my thing, too, in that I'd rather be alone than with people with whom I don't truly connect, be that connection created by shared interest or shared experience. I also rather be alone than with people who only like me a little bit, or secretly think I'm too this or too that, etc.

 

[Judge]

It's a razor's edge to walk a line between the "therapeutic" (less social stress) aspects of isolation versus the stress of loneliness. Contradictions, always contradictions.

It is what it is.... or as Gwen Stefani would say, "It's My life!"

Being "content" ? Interesting concept...