Aspie Women & Masculine Brains

[Streetwise]

The forum page shortened this thread's title to "Aspie Women & Masculine Bra..."

(It's a bro... No, it's a manziere!

)

brassiere means Childs chemise or armguard

 

[SDRSpark]

This is an interesting topic. I'm pretty sure the "extreme male brain" theory of autism has been debunked.

That said, I'm biologically female, and definitely more "male" than average - in fact, I identify as non-binary. I've noticed, and others have noted as well, that there are a higher proportion of transgender people in the autism community than in the general population (I don't have hard numbers for this.)

I think this has less to do with any 'extreme male brain theory' and more to do with the fact that autistic people tend not to relate to the world in the same way that others do - I can say with certainty, for myself, that my experience of the world and the differences in how I relate to people and what's important to me vs. what's important to others influences my gender identity.

That said, of course, my experience as a non-binary person who doesn't experience any physical dysphoria (I really don't give a hoot what's in my pants and would be perfectly happy with either set of genitalia) is probably a lot different from the experiences of those who do experience dysphoria. I could have just as happily identified as wholly female, had the social/mental aspect of the experience fallen into line. There was no "I feel wrong" moment so much as there was a growing awareness that I don't fully relate to being a woman, that I don't fully relate to being a man either, and that my level of connection with one gender or the other varies day to day. The growing wave of politics around gender has only made my feelings of not relating fully to being a woman more obvious as I got older until I eventually stopped identifying as a cisgender woman. I suspect that if my environment were different, I probably wouldn't identify as non-binary and I would be OK with that.

 

[Khendra]

Female here. I'm hard-wired to be both tomboyish and nerdy, and attempts to turn me into something more classically feminine have always failed. Not very sociable or emotionally expressive, love basketball and video games, not into shopping, and I also view sex more like a male does, which has been an issue in the past, because women in Western culture are expected to be non-visual and hate sex other than for emotional intimacy reasons. I don't believe I've had an especially close female friendship as an adult, but I am happily married to a guy, so there's that.

 

[luna88]

I wonder if this works the other way around as well, as I am a male with a feminine brain.

so interesting. can i ask how you identify?

 

[luna88]

I've read about this theory in my research as well along with how being non-binary is common among people on the spectrum. I've been thinking about this a lot in the past year actually since I've been in a state of gender questioning. I would say I have more of a masculine brain as well and tend to be more into discussing logical information or doing something active or achieving a goal than sitting around gossiping, nurturing others and talking about relationships and emotions. I'm so confused because some days I feel more gender neutral while other days I feel more feminine and others I feel more masculine. I probably need to meet more people who are like me because right now I'm just floating in this void of disconnection.

How would you describe what it feels like to you to have a masculine brain? Do you mind sharing examples?

Girls who are autistic have more 'masculine' brains, scientists claim | Daily Mail Online
extreme male brain theory of autism – Woman With Asperger's

I find these articles to be fascinating and make a lot of sense. As far as gender identity goes, I refer to myself as a gender non-conforming woman. I’ve dealt with gender policing most of my life. I preferred hanging out with men and masculine women throughout the years. My thought processes are often like that of a man’s. Even now, I don’t feel like I relate to most women except on a physical level and having certain emotions.
I commented on a video a while back and mentioned I was tomboyish. A guy asked why would a straight woman want to act like a man? I was taken aback, so I didn't respond. It’s not like I just woke up one day and decided to act like a man... I don't know. Now, I'm wondering if it's the high testosterone or Aspergers or both as the reason of not fitting in.

 

[simetra]

Have studies been conducted on hormone levels of men on the spectrum? From personal experience and the people I know, it is very difficult to find a male with ASD who embodies an extreme form of masculinity/machismo. So maybe it is not (only) about hormones in the first place, but rather the fact that people on the spectrum will care less about socially constructed and enforced femininities and masculinities and will just go with what they feel most comfortable with, as mentioned above.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

You’re exactly right. People here are talking about gender roles and gender norms, which have nothing to do with neurological differences between male and female brains. Our brains don’t lead us to wear makeup and dresses and talk a lot about our feelings, etc.—these are learned. And in fact the differences between our brains aren’t really even that significant anyway.

And also, women are not more emotional than men. In fact, many studies show that men are more emotional than women. Boys learn from an early age that expressing emotion makes them look weak and female (god forbid), so they bury them. Anger is basically the only socially acceptable male emotion, whereas sadness and other less-intense negative emotions are acceptable in females...so, when “emotion” is defined as “the emotions that are socially acceptable for women but not for men,” then of course women will be seen as more emotional than men.

I'm a woman, and I only show anger when in public cause I don't want people to see me as weak, especially cause of a stupid gender stereotype.

 

[Kalinychta]

I'm a woman, and I only show anger when in public cause I don't want people to see me as weak, especially cause of a stupid gender stereotype.

Women who express anger are slapped with the b word.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Women who express anger are slapped with the b word.

I know. It's stupid, isn't it? Heck, if angry women are called that, then angry men should be called a.. Whatever men who beat others called???

 

[Khendra]

I don't think I've been called the b-word for expressing anger, but I've definitely been told that it's not "appropriate," and I've learned that it "scares" a lot of people when I show anger, so I've learned to control it better. It was especially a problem when I subbed in schools and would raise my voice as a way to show firmness when students were deliberately misbehaving. I got a lot of criticism for it from the adults especially, but some of the students -- oddly enough -- respected that I didn't take crap.

 

[Bolletje]

I don't think I've been called the b-word for expressing anger, but I've definitely been told that it's not "appropriate," and I've learned that it "scares" a lot of people when I show anger, so I've learned to control it better. It was especially a problem when I subbed in schools and would raise my voice as a way to show firmness when students were deliberately misbehaving. I got a lot of criticism for it from the adults especially, but some of the students -- oddly enough -- respected that I didn't take crap.

I don’t get angry often, but I can have a very stern voice when I’m being serious or berating someone. I’ve been told it scares the crap out of people because my voice goes from warm and kind to very cold and warning.

 

[simetra]

I don’t get angry often, but I can have a very stern voice when I’m being serious or berating someone. I’ve been told it scares the crap out of people because my voice goes from warm and kind to very cold and warning.

I have experienced similar reactions. I have been told before that when I get angry, I am the scariest person on the planet; not because I would throw a tantrum let alone become violent, but because of something in my facial expressions/demeanor or my voice/articulation that changes to what a lot of people perceive as "psychopathic" apparently. I also get a blank stare it seems, like Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. But not as charming, I'm afraid. More Hannibal-ish probably.

 

[sport]

I may be like the other man physical man mental woman took several tests and always wound up 50/50.