Being Around People Drains Me

[Kirsty]

In my case, a lot of times I like to be around people, just not with them. For example, I'm more of a loner and I like it that way. However, I do like to go to cafes/bookstores and drink coffee while reading. There are times when I just get tired of sitting at home, if that makes any sense.

This makes sense as you're like me this way. It gets me out of the house and I can be around others without interacting with them apart from asking at the counter what drink I want.

 

[The Penguin]

There are times when I just get tired of sitting at home, if that makes any sense.

Sure. For me it doing camping, hiking, driving my RC, etc. I find the wrost someone can do is never go outdoors. The person don't really need to talk to people but find some activities to do outside the house.

 

[HelzBelz]

Same here, but at the same time I'm starting to experience loneliness. I can't quite explain it, as I've always been a "lone wolf." Perhaps it's my age catching up to me, but I am finding that I miss human interaction. That is to say, intelligent human interaction with other like-minded individuals. I do not want a crowd, which is one reason why I am no longer involved in a traditional church but rather a house church.

The folks in the house church are great, but it seems to lack the intimacy and regular closeness that I want/need. People drain me, but I miss having some regular human contact.

I get this - wanting solitude but feeling lonely. I think I get stimulation overload quickly but miss genuine connection. I like being single but long for skin contact and to be held. I find I operate best one on one, so have a couple of friends I will pop around to for coffee, then come home again when I've had enough. And I'm trying to find people I can be myself around as it's draining to try and say and do the right thing when I'm in public. Hard one.

 

[HelzBelz]

Yes, you hit the nail on the head! Social situations in public (like large gatherings) are too demanding for me. I find myself having to monitor everything I say and do and then hope my pre-scripted interactions go as planned. It wears me out having to constantly think, "Okay, they said this, so I have to respond like this," or "This was done, so I need to do this."

Those that have never experienced this dilemma haven't a clue what the simple day-to-day struggle is like negotiating the world socially.

I wonder how many aspies (and anyone socially awkward) isolate themselves because of this, even though they'd love to interact with people more. It can be lonely being at home day after day (if I'm not working) yet the thought of 'getting it right' out in public puts me off.

 

[Judge]

People think I'm a hermit because I don't go out, but that's not the case. In fact, I've been having a "loneliness crisis" for a few weeks now. I related this to my closest friend, but he's not grasping my reasons. He's married with five kids, so he doesn't understand the struggles of wanting to be sociable but can't and then struggling with the loneliness that comes with the isolation.

All compounded if you have great peace of mind when being alone as well. It's complicated.

 

[Butterfly88]

I can relate, people drain me too. Not as much out in public but the family really drains me and if I had co-workers (I'm self-employed) I imagine they would drain me too.

 

[Squished Crab]

Same here. Summer light is like a spot light that you can't turn off or hide from...
Winter shadows and gloom is so much more comfortable... layers of clothes also feels better.

Summer is the perpetual spotlight I always try to hide from. In the summer months, i wake up extra early so I can go for my run in the calm of darkness. I don't have the spotlight on me when it's dark, nobody even knows I am out there.