Floor is in.
Skirting board and architrave later today.
Ed
Skirting board and architrave later today.
Ed
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Boxanne
- Thread starter Raggamuffin
- Start date
This is all coming together beautifully:
Ed
Ed
Beautiful!
Heard a van park up, and saw purple from my open bedroom window. Boxanne was back from the mechanics over the road.
He changed the brake master cylinder after his brother, the carpenter noticed the brake pedal went down quite far when he'd been moving the van in the yard.
As 2 cars were parked infront of the house he had to block my car in the driveway. I went out to meet him. He told me the van looks like a gentleman's club. This made me happy, as that was the theme I'd wanted to go for. Something high end and classy.
I decided to get cracking on staining the wooden skirting boards and architraves right away. Whilst working on the van, one of the two cars parked infront of the house moved. So I jumped in the cab and drove up the road, turned around and parked infront of the house.
I'll continue the wood staining at a later date, as my bluetooth speaker ran out, and without music I feel quite lost.
So far so good though. As expected, having a uniformity to the wood in colour is working well. I just need to buy some RAL 6009 to colour match my kitchen units. This will be for the vertical boards on the shelving and potentially the top and side wall section of the seating area.
Ed
He changed the brake master cylinder after his brother, the carpenter noticed the brake pedal went down quite far when he'd been moving the van in the yard.
As 2 cars were parked infront of the house he had to block my car in the driveway. I went out to meet him. He told me the van looks like a gentleman's club. This made me happy, as that was the theme I'd wanted to go for. Something high end and classy.
I decided to get cracking on staining the wooden skirting boards and architraves right away. Whilst working on the van, one of the two cars parked infront of the house moved. So I jumped in the cab and drove up the road, turned around and parked infront of the house.
I'll continue the wood staining at a later date, as my bluetooth speaker ran out, and without music I feel quite lost.
So far so good though. As expected, having a uniformity to the wood in colour is working well. I just need to buy some RAL 6009 to colour match my kitchen units. This will be for the vertical boards on the shelving and potentially the top and side wall section of the seating area.
Ed
Got paid and it's 300 more after tax than my best paid job.
This month I'm doing overpayments on money owed. Next payday is 18th August, and that's when I'll get the mattress and the gas installed by an LPG gas engineer.
Ed
This month I'm doing overpayments on money owed. Next payday is 18th August, and that's when I'll get the mattress and the gas installed by an LPG gas engineer.
Ed
Finished up the green paint on the shelving and started on the wood stain.
Ed
Ed
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Just contacted the bodyshop on WhatsApp after his reply regarding the rust that's appeared since the respray in multiple areas:
Ed
Ed
Whatever is causing the rust spots needs to be fixed by the body shop for free!
Yep. You'd think in a climate like Britain's that such concerns would always be addressed. Reminds me of seeing most cars with rust on the body. Where the license is out of state and often from the eastern seaboard.
Just spotted this on the back of the van when I got home.
And more rust coming through on the other door.
4 months after a full respray.
I'm tired, boss.
Ed
And more rust coming through on the other door.
4 months after a full respray.
I'm tired, boss.
Ed
A few bits of the shelving left to tidy up and then I've just got the top of the seating area to do now.
Ed
Ed
The company I bought my solar panels from is going to price me up a bespoke system for the rest of the electronics, based off what electrical items I'll have in my van, and the power draw.
Then I know how much I need to save up for, and then get the whole kit delivered and installed in one go.
Ed
Then I know how much I need to save up for, and then get the whole kit delivered and installed in one go.
Ed
Last Wednesday, on my day off I started getting a cold. Saturday was my first day back at work, by which point the cold had escalated. On Sunday it was horrific, and I ended up working half a day before going home sick. After plenty of sleep and medicine, I'm feeling like I'm over the worst of it now.
Today is a little adventure - I'm dropping Boxanne off to the paint shop to get the rust sorted out, along with fixing the 2 gouges in the paintwork on the shutter door.
I got my bike out the shed and the tyre with the slow puncture is no longer inflating at all. So I took out the inner tube and realised I must've thrown out the last of the old one's I had left. So I took photos of the tyre and inner tube and I'll pop to Ely this morning to get a new inner tube. Figure I might as well head to the library to do some of my artwork as well.
Around 12:45 I'll head off to the paint shop, with my bike in the back of the van. If for any reason I can't fix the bike - then I'll have a 3 hour walk back from the paint shop. Thankfully the weather is cooler today, so it won't feel like such a mission if the worst was to happen.
Yesterday I was told I won carer of the month at work. Last month I was the runner up. It was a rush to see that I'd won, but when I read their description of me, I felt a lot of embarrassment. But therein lies the nature of how I process things. I'm not good with praise, even though I'm worthy of plenty of it according to other people.
Winning the carer of the month means a bit of extra money in my bank account. The past few weeks I've also done rounds which involve a lot more driving than usual - so my pay cheque will be very healthy this month. It needs to be really, as I've no idea what the final bill from the paint shop will be.
If there's spare money I'm going to get the plumber who recently fitted a new immersion heater at home to plumb in the gas for the cooker. Then, all that's left is to buy the mattress and bedding. October looks like the month I'll be moving into the van.
Depending on how condensation is in the van with sleeping in it during the cold weather without heating - I might need to take a van hiatus over winter, as I can't afford to get the electrics and heater installed until around Feb/Apr at the earliest. Not that I have any issue sleeping in the cold. I lived in a house for over 4 years with no central heating. But I don't want condensation to potentially ruin the interior of the van. So I'll monitor the situation once I start living in the van. The battery and electrics kit came in cheaper than expected. I had a long chat with a guy at Nomadic Energy who priced me up a high end system, with big capacity and high quality components.
Over the course of my project a lot of people suggested I go cheap with tech and buy these bargain Chinese items. To quote "People Just do Nothing" I'm a complete Tech Head. I always buy high end when it comes to electrics, and whilst people's advice was coming from a good place, it makes my brain fizz, as it's the complete opposite to my approach.
Anyway, we'll get there. The completion date continues to be delayed, and the budget continues to go up. But the project will get finished, of that I have no doubt. There's been many times where I've felt emotional and financial fatigue. Knowing my finances are laid out and locked in for another 3 to 4 years is quite tiring. Realistically I'm barely in the foothills of the projects I have in mind.
Still, once it's done I'll have a van and a motorbike, plus a different car for work that allows me to sleep and rest in a bed in the back. The plans don't factor in being able to set aside any money for self-care such as therapy, yoga and massage though.
I live in hope that once I'm living in the van I'll see a considerable boost to my overall wellbeing. I'm hoping this isn't another salvation fantasy. But I think the reality of no longer feeling like I'm in limbo living at my parents, and having my own space and freedom will be hugely beneficial and healing.
I only wish getting a dog was practical sooner rather than later. But maybe in a few years. Ideally sooner, but we shall see. The lack of local friends continues to take it's toll, and on my days off I continue to feel lonely and very isolated. Work keeps me very busy on the days I'm working. Helping others and constantly keeping busy helps keep depression at bay. Unfortunately once I have free time I notice my low mood starts to increase rapidly.
Desire for substances has been very pronounced in recent months. Alcohol and weed cravings - the desire to escape and disconnect. I'd have hoped that after 3.75 years alcohol free that cravings would abate, but since starting this new job, I find after a long day my brain strongly craves a drink. Alcohol is so easy though, and that's the problem. After a tiring day, a means to relax momentarily, and also to fall asleep easier. When I get home after 9 and have to be up around 5 - my brain really struggles to shut off, and my sleep duration isn't long enough. I've got 5 full days coming up from Thursday, I'm a little nervous of how exhausted I'll be by the end of it. I'm hoping I have Tuesday off next week, but we shall see.
Still, I remind myself I need strong pay cheques over the next few months, to get the van done - and then start saving for the electrics as quickly as I can. I have noticed with all this energy spent helping and caring for others, my own self-care has slipped quite a bit. Mustering the energy and enthusiasm for such things on my days off can be a struggle.
I hope I can get my bike fixed today, as it's been months since I went on a bike ride, and I used to cycle regularly. I think it could potentially rekindle a desire to do some more cycling. Mind you, back when I used to cycle the main reason was to go to the middle of the Fens to have a joint. So perhaps that's another reason why the desire to cycle has been lacking. I'm just over 3 months weed free.
Aches and pains are a lot less now I'm not smoking. Weed really did amp up my anxiety related aches and pains to horrific levels. Yet I still desired the brief disconnect it provided, even if the initial 60-90 minutes were filled with chest pain, racing heart, muscular aches and high anxiety. Therein lies the nature of addiction, and how difficult it can be to quit something even if it's bombarding your life with all manner of negative consequences.
It's a confusing state of affairs, throughout life people say I'm nice, kind, talented etc. In this job in particular my people pleasing nature thrives, and people see the absolute best version of myself I can be. As such the amount of positive comments I'm receiving is higher than it's ever been. Yet I go home and I feel lonely, exhausted, depressed and forever wanting to escape into substances and disconnection. Yet I try and remind myself that being sober is better, even though the reality and rawness of living with emotions without the anaesthetic of substances is a lot harder. I hope that over the long term my projects, choices and job allow me to rekindle a sense of calm and faith in myself - because it feels like no amount of outside praise from other people will ever help. There's a void within, and it's up to me to try and work out how on earth I can fix this. Much like a black hole, the pull of depression is often so powerful it feels inescapable.
Well, that's a brief foray into where I'm at at the moment.
Good day.
EDIT - got the inner tube fitted, and a new bike pump with a gauge that works on the Schrader valves. The pump colours also compliment my bike:
Ed
Today is a little adventure - I'm dropping Boxanne off to the paint shop to get the rust sorted out, along with fixing the 2 gouges in the paintwork on the shutter door.
I got my bike out the shed and the tyre with the slow puncture is no longer inflating at all. So I took out the inner tube and realised I must've thrown out the last of the old one's I had left. So I took photos of the tyre and inner tube and I'll pop to Ely this morning to get a new inner tube. Figure I might as well head to the library to do some of my artwork as well.
Around 12:45 I'll head off to the paint shop, with my bike in the back of the van. If for any reason I can't fix the bike - then I'll have a 3 hour walk back from the paint shop. Thankfully the weather is cooler today, so it won't feel like such a mission if the worst was to happen.
Yesterday I was told I won carer of the month at work. Last month I was the runner up. It was a rush to see that I'd won, but when I read their description of me, I felt a lot of embarrassment. But therein lies the nature of how I process things. I'm not good with praise, even though I'm worthy of plenty of it according to other people.
Winning the carer of the month means a bit of extra money in my bank account. The past few weeks I've also done rounds which involve a lot more driving than usual - so my pay cheque will be very healthy this month. It needs to be really, as I've no idea what the final bill from the paint shop will be.
If there's spare money I'm going to get the plumber who recently fitted a new immersion heater at home to plumb in the gas for the cooker. Then, all that's left is to buy the mattress and bedding. October looks like the month I'll be moving into the van.
Depending on how condensation is in the van with sleeping in it during the cold weather without heating - I might need to take a van hiatus over winter, as I can't afford to get the electrics and heater installed until around Feb/Apr at the earliest. Not that I have any issue sleeping in the cold. I lived in a house for over 4 years with no central heating. But I don't want condensation to potentially ruin the interior of the van. So I'll monitor the situation once I start living in the van. The battery and electrics kit came in cheaper than expected. I had a long chat with a guy at Nomadic Energy who priced me up a high end system, with big capacity and high quality components.
Over the course of my project a lot of people suggested I go cheap with tech and buy these bargain Chinese items. To quote "People Just do Nothing" I'm a complete Tech Head. I always buy high end when it comes to electrics, and whilst people's advice was coming from a good place, it makes my brain fizz, as it's the complete opposite to my approach.
Anyway, we'll get there. The completion date continues to be delayed, and the budget continues to go up. But the project will get finished, of that I have no doubt. There's been many times where I've felt emotional and financial fatigue. Knowing my finances are laid out and locked in for another 3 to 4 years is quite tiring. Realistically I'm barely in the foothills of the projects I have in mind.
Still, once it's done I'll have a van and a motorbike, plus a different car for work that allows me to sleep and rest in a bed in the back. The plans don't factor in being able to set aside any money for self-care such as therapy, yoga and massage though.
I live in hope that once I'm living in the van I'll see a considerable boost to my overall wellbeing. I'm hoping this isn't another salvation fantasy. But I think the reality of no longer feeling like I'm in limbo living at my parents, and having my own space and freedom will be hugely beneficial and healing.
I only wish getting a dog was practical sooner rather than later. But maybe in a few years. Ideally sooner, but we shall see. The lack of local friends continues to take it's toll, and on my days off I continue to feel lonely and very isolated. Work keeps me very busy on the days I'm working. Helping others and constantly keeping busy helps keep depression at bay. Unfortunately once I have free time I notice my low mood starts to increase rapidly.
Desire for substances has been very pronounced in recent months. Alcohol and weed cravings - the desire to escape and disconnect. I'd have hoped that after 3.75 years alcohol free that cravings would abate, but since starting this new job, I find after a long day my brain strongly craves a drink. Alcohol is so easy though, and that's the problem. After a tiring day, a means to relax momentarily, and also to fall asleep easier. When I get home after 9 and have to be up around 5 - my brain really struggles to shut off, and my sleep duration isn't long enough. I've got 5 full days coming up from Thursday, I'm a little nervous of how exhausted I'll be by the end of it. I'm hoping I have Tuesday off next week, but we shall see.
Still, I remind myself I need strong pay cheques over the next few months, to get the van done - and then start saving for the electrics as quickly as I can. I have noticed with all this energy spent helping and caring for others, my own self-care has slipped quite a bit. Mustering the energy and enthusiasm for such things on my days off can be a struggle.
I hope I can get my bike fixed today, as it's been months since I went on a bike ride, and I used to cycle regularly. I think it could potentially rekindle a desire to do some more cycling. Mind you, back when I used to cycle the main reason was to go to the middle of the Fens to have a joint. So perhaps that's another reason why the desire to cycle has been lacking. I'm just over 3 months weed free.
Aches and pains are a lot less now I'm not smoking. Weed really did amp up my anxiety related aches and pains to horrific levels. Yet I still desired the brief disconnect it provided, even if the initial 60-90 minutes were filled with chest pain, racing heart, muscular aches and high anxiety. Therein lies the nature of addiction, and how difficult it can be to quit something even if it's bombarding your life with all manner of negative consequences.
It's a confusing state of affairs, throughout life people say I'm nice, kind, talented etc. In this job in particular my people pleasing nature thrives, and people see the absolute best version of myself I can be. As such the amount of positive comments I'm receiving is higher than it's ever been. Yet I go home and I feel lonely, exhausted, depressed and forever wanting to escape into substances and disconnection. Yet I try and remind myself that being sober is better, even though the reality and rawness of living with emotions without the anaesthetic of substances is a lot harder. I hope that over the long term my projects, choices and job allow me to rekindle a sense of calm and faith in myself - because it feels like no amount of outside praise from other people will ever help. There's a void within, and it's up to me to try and work out how on earth I can fix this. Much like a black hole, the pull of depression is often so powerful it feels inescapable.
Well, that's a brief foray into where I'm at at the moment.
Good day.
EDIT - got the inner tube fitted, and a new bike pump with a gauge that works on the Schrader valves. The pump colours also compliment my bike:
Ed
Last edited:
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