Boxanne

[Raggamuffin]

Maybe you need a telescoping paint pole with a paint roller on the end of it? Then you can paint the roof without leaning at all. I have several of those poles and they are time savers.

Yeah, I said to the carpenter a roller on a pole is needed. Should be able to sneak under the solar panel frame with that too.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Carpenter said they'll get a hosepipe and find where the leak is.

He also commented on the 2k quote to fit an aluminium roof, and said that would buy a lot of paint and sealant.

Ed

 

[Forest Cat]

Stealth 100.

View attachment 101450

Ed

I have an urge to re-write the lyrics to the song "Purple Rain" and call it "Purple Van".

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I love purple.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Carpenter collected the kitchen yesterday, and it's beautiful.

Wonderful colour and handles which compliment the bee theme wallpaper and lino floor.

The wallpaper will be on the opposite wall. 2 walls in an "L" shape with wallpaper. 2 with paint to brighten up the interior.

The colour of the kitchen cupboards with the dark oak counter top?

Hot damn.

The orange stable door might not fit in with any of this theme. But that's fine, because if you don't like it - there's the door, and you can see yourself out.

I've also found some beautiful, handmade, solid brass handles to help keep the drawers and cupboards closed when driving Boxanne.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Puddle on the floor of the van again...

Chatted with carpenter and when I said something to him - he had a eureka moment. It appears that water is running down the solar cables and collecting in a puddle on the floor.

He'll look to re-seal the cables today. However, this puddle happened the day after collecting the van after the auto-electrician collected the van. We assumed it was run off from the battens which were collected wet. But now it's happened 3 times in a row. Puddle on the floor, no visible water stain on the roof.

I think this means that not only were the screws too long and damaged my shutter door. But the cables weren't sealed properly and now I have a water leak.

Not going to lie - I hate this. People telling me not to worry, it's a new leak and minimal risk of damage etc. That's fine and all, but it doesn't shut up the anxiety and paranoia in my brain.

Carpenter said it's worth buying another tin of the waterproof paint and do multiple coats on the roof as it needs to be thicker. At £50 a tin, and already being in my overdraft, this is just adding to stress.

I really hope this sorts out the problem. I'm tired of worrying about it nonstop. Mind you, my gut knew it was a big risk putting holes in the roof. Never mind 3 of them, and then the cables being moves about lots during the conversion. Still, the first puddle was before any carpentry work began, which probably indicates they didn't seal the cables properly in the first place.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Now that's a fancy kitchen.

Ed

 

[Forest Cat]

Now that's a fancy kitchen.

View attachment 101535

View attachment 101534

Ed

It's a nice color.

 

[Raggamuffin]

It's a nice color.

Yeee.
I'm all about the aesthetic.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

3 compartment storage area.

Once the majlis sofa is made to order and sat ontop. Oooof. Veh fanceh.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

I did worry that the orange door wouldn't go well in the van.

But it turns out my brain unwittingly knew the kitchen colour would compliment the door.

Thank you brain.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

There's no denying, I'm a grubby fiend at the best of times. Eventually I will sully a door with my fingers.

What better excuse to obtain a beautiful, if overpriced, finger plate for my front door.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Utilise the tall gap by the kitchen cupboard and door. Brighten the van and create the illusion of space. Compliment the orange door with a beautiful, handmade mirror.

Try not to lick the lead on the mirror.
Lick it a lot.

Grow up big and strong.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

Finalized paint colours:

Wall

Ceiling

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

An hour spent tidying up the door paint job. Sanding, scraping, prepping. Painted it on thick. Drips everywhere. I'd tried to mitigate the drips when painting. I made a mess of it.

Did the exterior side of the door, scrapped so many tacky globules of paint off. The brand new, shiny door now looks vandalised. I got disheartened and stopped. Mind you, I'm exhausted, chronic lack of sleep recently.

Once it dries I can sand it and repaint. Less is more with paint. I just felt stressed, rushed and frazzled when painting earlier this week. When parked up on someone else's property, I felt quite on edge - like I needed to get done and get out asap. I can take my time now.

The other issue was the primer my dad said I could use was old, and full of bits. So the brand new door ended up with all sorts of bits and crud sticking to it. Honestly, it wasn't a strong foray into starting the DIY on my van. New primer and wall and ceiling paints arriving soon.

Mind you, having spent 5 hours correcting 3 hours of painting. I think I see quite clearly now that I need to do my best to reign in my impulsivity here. As it steers me towards mistakes on a daily basis, and I can't afford to mess up the van, having spent so much getting professionals to do all the work so far.

Oh, and it rained, and the roof appears to be fine now. So that's a relief. I jest - I'm still on edge awaiting impending disaster that I concoct on a daily basis. Speaking of the roof; I still need to go up the ladder again and finish up painting the roof.

Once the latches are fitted; making the kitchen doors secure, I can drive the van somewhere more remote to do the DIY in a quieter and peaceful place, rather than on the main road in a large village. Somewhere surrounded by nature, where I can have a smoke, listen to music, eat cake and paint. But more than that - just be away from prying eyes. I know many have been intrigued and polite, but I just feel it's all a bit too invasive doing this parked up in front of the house.

I will say though - my focus doing the DIY now is very strong. The spectrum hyperfocus is "On" and it feels good. Although I am taking ages to do seemingly simple processes. But at least I'm doing them properly. I'm accepting I messed up, and wasn't in a good place when I started painting. But it'll get there, and I'll bring it up to a standard I can be proud of.

Asides from DIY, another weekend focus is catching up on sleep and self-care too. Everything has been lacking of late - except for stress, aching and exhaustion. It'll be nice to wake up on Saturday without an alarm.

Ed

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I continue to be impressed by your insights and determination.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Woke up, ate breakfast and drank covfefe in the van. Added the second coat of Danish oil onto the kitchen counter and continued the prep on the front door.

I really did a number on the door. The old primer full of bits, and then painted on the oil based paint so thick that it'll take forever and a day to dry. Scraping, sanding, waiting, prepping. The scraped bits are drying out nicely.

6 hours in, and I have many hours prep before I can re-paint the door. Could be done quicker, or with different items, but I've chosen my way - and I'm stubborn. Besides, once bitten, twice shy. I continue to maintain a steady pace and hyperfocus on fixing what I messed up with my usual "bull in a china shop" approach.

Still, you live and learn. A costly lesson and a large amount of time needed to correct; but I'm sort of happy for the experience. Plus, I'm doing a bit work on the van every day without internal resistance - which is huge for me. Normally procrastination and fatigue is king. It is starting to feel wholesome.

I noticed I'm seeing a lot of women walking by with huge smiles on their faces when they look at me and the van. Still, with the way I choose to look, I get that a lot in general - but I've never really known what to do with it, other than feel a mixture of happiness, unease and regret. Unfortunately I don't do healthy relationships well. I invest too much energy and I amp up my anxiety and depression to unmanageable levels, which innevitably pushes people away.

Besides, I'm not in the right state of mind to do anything with anyone right now. Too much emotional investment and distraction involved - and I long for peace and quiet. Hence, Boxanne - the only lady in my life; until I get a doggo.

Thai massage in a few hours. With the past few weeks of stress I think I'll be rather knotty. Speaking of, I want to continue my recent dreadlock tidying sessions. I'm quite impressed by the uniformity of them. Once again I have been quite OCD with maintaining them. And the repetitive motion of crocheting dreadlocks is very relaxing and distracting.

Ordered the latches for the kitchen, painters caulk, lightweight filler, another tin of orange paint for the door, decorators masking film/sheets aaaaand. I think that's it? I measured up and costed up the mattress and finalised which composting toilet I'm going to buy. Should be able to buy those within the next couple of weeks.

Yesterday I contacted my previous workplace to get an engineer out to replace the shutter door lock. Just waiting on them to take a look at my photos and let me know when that can be arranged.

Excelsior.

Ed

 

[Aspychata]

Nice door.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Door is nearly finished.

Did the last coat of Danish oil too. I just need to take the cooker out and do the tiny slither of counter there and then I can call it quits. I was delaying that bit as the cooker is heavy and it'll be a lot of faffing. Once the countertop oiling and last bits on the front door are done that'll be the last of the substances with the noxious fumes. The rest of the interior paints won't be oil based.

Need to do the door frame in black. I have the paint for that. Underneath the frame the carpenter said he'd do flashing, and also a bit of decking for the floor.

Hopefully the rest of the paint and materials arrives on Tuesday, then I can crack on.

Might attempt finishing up the roof weatherproof painting tomorrow. Wake up early and go up the ladder on the pavement/sidewalk really early when nobody is about.

Ed

 

[Raggamuffin]

The Yellow Wallpaper - a book we studied in English at school. A woman is taken away in a bid to rest and recuperate from mental health exhaustion, but her condition ends up deteriorating as she obsesses over the yellow wallpaper in her bedroom, slowly unravelling and slipping into psychosis.

I feel like I'm unwittingly starring in the sequel to this book, and it's called The Orange Door. A van with the intention of eventually seeing mental health improve, but a process that is seeing me spiral.

I'm nearing the end of the first side of the door, and I keep noticing bits I want to redo but with the drying time of oil based paints, it'll be weeks before I ever see it done right.

Not even striving for perfection - just rather shocked at how bad I made the door initially look, and correcting it is making some places look even worse. I remember how the door looked the day it was fitted. It was smooth, beautiful and smelled fresh. Now it smells noxious, and the surface is pock-marked and ugly.

All adds to stress, and the fumes and my dizziness. Easy to feel like I'm losing it at times. The 3 day weekend I'd hoped would help me relax, but this dizziness is ruthless. Don't really feel present at the moment.

I've always hated dizziness ever since it first hit me for prolonged periods. Stress, anxiety - the usual diagnosis. The symptoms have never changed, and the pattern is clear; when I'm struggling really bad - dizziness comes along like an univited guest. And I just feel like I have to hang on, like being on a boat on a rough sea. I feel scared and unsure, but I keep holding on hoping it will cease.

Plus I'm nervous about returning to work after how anxious my boss had me feeling with his comments, second guessing and put downs on Friday. Another environment that provokes worry, as does being at home, as does working on the van.

Still, these things can be addressed once the van is done. One step at a time...

When I'd finished the exterior side of the door this morning, and properly looked at the interior side of the door; I realised the amount of prep and paint that would need too. I felt rather deflated once again.

Sigh-onara...

Nope. Not today, butthead. Tired of being a shut-in. I'm off to see a friend in Cambridge instead. Soon to return home once the dizziness and social anxiety tucks my tail between my legs and I hurry home in a bid to feel safer.

Bye.