Bullying in the Autistic community

[Jonn]

I have been picked on by others on the spectrum. Bullying isn't a NT thing, it's just a human thing.

Indeed.
However, at one time, I thought the term "autistic bully" was an oxymoron.
I no longer have this naive belief.

 

[mysterionz]

Indeed.
However, at one time, I thought the term "autistic bully" was an oxymoron.
I no longer have this naive belief.

When I was six or seven, I got kicked in the back by a young boy at the ABA place I went to.

 

[WildCat]

I hear you on the naivete. You'd figure that a group of people who share a common denominator would give each other pats on the back all day long, but I've witnessed the opposite too many times now. It's a human thing indeed.

I'd say the best you can do is to simply ignore it to the best of your ability and keep on trucking.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think an autistic person is more likely to bully if they have other mental health problems that can make them unstable, have PTSD from abuse, and are stubborn about their gender or something. But that doesn't go for all autistic people with those issues.

 

[Vindiesel]

In regards to the autism community I would say bullying may be strictly a communication error or lack of people skills which the perception of certain people may qualify as bullying.

I used to bully people on quora inadvertently due to the subjectivity of their writing. I would be called a troll but I consider it dismantling people’s logic being inquisitive with pointed questions that unwrap their incompetence or show them error or lack of preface to generalize a group or subject. Along the way I learned a lot of views from others. I could contradict myself and not care like people believe everyone’s psyche and principles are not fluid. Like no one allowed should question your content. Obviously I’m pretty abrasive which rubs people the wrong way. Instead of them questioning me to clarify they just attack.

Also find it funny and interesting how words of a stranger can conjure up clear emotional responses in others. Why would you value a strangers words no different then the sound of rustling leaves?

It’s one thing to know a subject/passion or hobby through and want to educate or give advice to others…it’s another to flex, belittle or be condescending to others due to your extreme knowledge. I find over the years it’sa waste of time trying to debate people over their beliefs online and rather try to show some net positive when advice is asked for or just data collect in silence.

 

[Darkkin]

Bullying is not simply caused by a simple miscommunication. There is a conscious choice to belittle, upstage, discredit, intimidate, or otherwise humiliate another through a variety of means and/or mediums.

Someone online calls the socially inept individual a troll, it should work like water to the face. The behaviour is not okay. Continued ignorance and/or repetition of the action when a behaviour has been flagged, (often multiple times) is a form bullying, (unless there is a substantial intellectual or cognitive deficit) which is more often an exception than the rule.

It is the abdication of accountability. And in all seriousness, it isn't hard to be a reasonable human. That being said, reasonable humans still do stupid things, when one does, holding one's self accountable for one's actions is the only fair and responsible thing to do.

Speaking up and saying, 'Hey, I was an idiot.' is a tough thing to do. People find it hard to admit when they are wrong.

 

[Misty Avich]

Strangely I seem to be more sensitive to stranger's thoughts than people I know. I don't know the psychology behind it.

 

[Darkkin]

Strangely I seem to be more sensitive to stranger's thoughts than people I know. I don't know the psychology behind it.

Simple exposure. You know the familiar, what reactions will be like with the known factors. Strangers are an unknown. Unknown risk, higher vigilance.

 

[Vindiesel]

The best analogy I’ve heard is if you wouldn’t say what you said online to this person in an elevator then don’t say it at all.

Shows how being online is a very invulnerable state and also shows the true nature of people’s personalities.

A medium would be in your car cussing at someone that cut you off with the windows up. If someone cut you off with a cart in a grocery store you would say excuse me and be kind in person.

In person to a degree is a facade a cloak to shadow vulnerabilities.

 

[Misty Avich]

Simple exposure. You know the familiar, what reactions will be like with the known factors. Strangers are an unknown. Unknown risk, higher vigilance.

Well it is easier, personally speaking, to deal with judgement from my friends, family, work colleagues, etc.

I remember when my friend had to have her eye taken out due to cancer, and even with a skin-coloured patch covering her eye it still felt noticeable and she felt like everyone was staring whenever she was in public.
So she tried avoiding being out in public but wasn't avoidant of attending parties if she knew most the people there because they all knew she had lost an eye so didn't stare, and if there were people she didn't know, she'd most likely end up introducing herself to them and then could explain about her eye.
She said she didn't mind being interrogated or even teased if she knew the people, but she found it really upsetting and uncomfortable to be stared at by strangers. And I know exactly how she feels because I feel the same. Being bullied by strangers is worse for me. I think it brings me back to my high school days when I was bullied on my way to and from school in the street, by kids I didn't know. I would feel humiliated in public by them and frustrated because I didn't even know their names, but because the school I went to was huge they didn't pick on me in school and I didn't really recognise them.

 

[Shevek]

I recently had a year's work ruined by a guy who tells me he is an aspie, but seems to be more affected by narcissism. His only interest in my work was as an opportunity to recruit for his own.

 

[GrownupGirl]

Autistic people can be bullies and do other bad things because we're like, you know, humans?
And humans have a talent for becoming the very things they hate about other humans.

 

[AspieChris]

Strangely I seem to be more sensitive to stranger's thoughts than people I know. I don't know the psychology behind it.

I do the same. I think it’s a part of my determination to understand. If it’s a person who I understand (or think I do), then I can let it go. If it’s a new person, I get confused and want to learn. Soooooo…… I dwell on it like a math problem that has an answer.

I hate that I do this because it ruins my life. It’s what is on my mind when I can’t sleep. It can happen decades later, after the encounter that I don’t understand. It can even trigger a meltdown years later. It can make me have a need to get drunk. It’s just hard.

 

[Jonn]

In regards to the autism community I would say bullying may be strictly a communication error or lack of people skills which the perception of certain people may qualify as bullying.

I and others I know, have been on the receiving end of deliberate mocking.
There is no doubt that at times it was a deliberate act of maliciousness.
I expect better from the autistic community.

 

[Jonn]

Bullying is not simply caused by a simple miscommunication. There is a conscious choice to belittle, upstage, discredit, intimidate, or otherwise humiliate another through a variety of means and/or mediums.

Unfortunately, this happens all too often in the autistic community, also.
Go figure.

 

[Jonn]

It is the abdication of accountability.

I attribute this to the failure/degeneration of social values, the lack of discipline, and the anonymity of the internet.

Speaking up and saying, 'Hey, I was an idiot.' is a tough thing to do. People find it hard to admit when they are wrong.

I have no problem with admitting fault due to the respect I have for the Truth.

 

[All-Rounder]

Organized debates in which parties are willing and positive about it, and don't feel the need to attack character but points can be very fun and people can learn from them. The intent is not to conquer the battlefield or change someone. For me beyond being therapeutic to express points and hyperfocus on a special interest subject, I hear different people's points, I share mine.

To be distinguished between these and people who ask for debates continuously with the same person with the intent to destroy a personal reputation instead of to deal with a point of view. They magically make everything something negative about the person, when the proof is lacking. Sensational people can make up things that are supposed to link to a certain general event but can't logically be connected, then gaslight.

I recently read that people in their twenties can aggressively defend a point of view because that is how they protect themselves and form a view of life. But after their twenties they should strive to be more open to different opinions because that process has finalized.

 

[Jonn]

Organized debates in which parties are willing and positive about it, and don't feel the need to attack character but points can be very fun and people can learn from them.

As you know, I hate arguments.
I prefer discussions with the intent to share ideas for mutual enlightenment.
I embrace the same thinking as you. <hug>

To be distinguished between these and people who ask for debates continuously with the same person with the intent to destroy a personal reputation instead of to deal with a point of view. They magically make everything something negative about the person, when the proof is lacking. Sensational people can make up things that are supposed to link to a certain general event but can't logically be connected, then gaslight.

Malicious intent is often a feature of internet life, unfortunately.
Anonymity breeds corruption.
Ppl delve into their darker self so easily when they have no immediate consequences.
I see it as essentially a power lust that is part of the human psyche thanks to the evolutionary process.
What can you do? <shrug>

I recently read that people in their twenties can aggressively defend a point of view because that is how they protect themselves and form a view of life. But after their twenties they should strive to be more open to different opinions because that process has finalized.

Based on the research I have done, poor behaviour/attitude has a lot to do with the pre-frontal cortex not being fully developed.
During this period, the less primitive parts involving instinct/emotions of the brain have greater sway.

Most ppl gain integrity after their rational brain fully develops.
Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.

 

[AspieChris]

Ppl delve into their darker self so easily when they have no immediate consequences

When I was younger (before the internet), if I said something mean to you it would have been to your face. Then you punch me in the face. So I considered the consequences. If I said it behind your back, you might drive across town and punch me in the face. Still, there could be consequences.

10 years ago I would at least need to be in front of a computer. Today…. I can say horrible things about anyone I like from the bus, or on the toilet at work. I choose not to do those things because it’s wrong. But there’s a whole lot of folks who have no consideration for others. And they take advantage of the internet to become “micro-bullies”. (I should trademark that term).

I stopped trying to figure it out. But that is exactly the reason I never started any social media accounts, and nobody in my house has either.

 

[Misty Avich]

I attribute this to the failure/degeneration of social values, the lack of discipline, and the anonymity of the internet.


I have no problem with admitting fault due to the respect I have for the Truth.

I often admitted I was wrong on a site I was on if I knew I was wrong, but that still wasn't good enough for them.