Very interesting thread.
Bullying is usually a social thing: he’s not hungry, he wants your lunch money as a social status marker. While I was permanently scarred by bullying as a child, I still managed to develop a useful strategy others might consider.
You guys trying to discern between teasing and bullying is interesting but misses the point, IMNTHO. Bullying is about intent. Whether you’re using words or fists, bullying is about thievery in the world of social standing. If the intent is to defraud another of standing in order to bolster your own, it is bullying. Useless to attempt to define it as particular actions or behaviors. Using force to steal someone’s goods or social standing is thievery. Words can be forceful.
Anyway, never one for physical violence, I had a plan. Steal back the status.
When in the service I was mostly nonverbal; few ever heard me speak. My combat-tested idiot of a sergeant once told me publicly, ‘You a dud; evvuhbuddy know you a dud.’ To which I boldly replied, ‘And you uh inglish major, Sergeant Scott. Evvuhbuddy know you uh inglish major.’ The jaws of his toadies hit the ground in unison, to hear me speak. Then, the brutish moron was laughed to scorn by those he had hoped to impress. It angered the moron, but it did wonders in terms of stifling the regular public slights that were inspired in the other morons by such behavior from the moron in charge. Ultimately, the senior moron caught me laying down on the job and yelled at me all the way to the captain’s office. That’s a jailable offense in the service, and he let me know on that walk that he intended to see me in a jail cell. That would teach me to smart talk in front of his toadies.
When I got to the captain’s desk, I confessed that I was very shaken and scared by the sergeant’s repeated threats to throw me in jail, and doubly mortified because so many people heard this dressing down on the walk over (witnesses). I never heard another word about my dereliction of duty. You see, the UCMJ makes it a crime for an NCO to threaten an enlisted man with imprisonment. Sergeant Scott quit meeting eyes with me and I made it safely to discharge.
As messed up as I am, I can still see that bullies are about the weakest people on the playground of life. Rarely the brightest sorts, and easy to best if you have the nerve.
In fifth grade we all suffered under a very large physical bully in the sixth grade. At his father’s suggestion, the shortest guy in our class waded in on him and socked him twice in his big belly, which shocked the bully then made him refund his lunch on the playground. Partially digested food on your sneakers counteracts any social benefit from looking tough. Young Jerry grew up to be a great school athlete and the bully grew up to be a burnt out speed addict. I disagree with anyone who summarily rejects giving a bully a little ‘physical education.’ Neville Chamberlain was probably a very nice guy, but…
Nevertheless, I have always personally chosen to hang back as long as I can bear but, if pushed, seek an opportunity to socially kneecap the jerk. I never had respect for passive aggressive behavior, so I think of it as gorilla warfare. Chronic bullies deserve whatever comes to them, but humiliation is their just dessert.
Bullying is usually a social thing: he’s not hungry, he wants your lunch money as a social status marker. While I was permanently scarred by bullying as a child, I still managed to develop a useful strategy others might consider.
You guys trying to discern between teasing and bullying is interesting but misses the point, IMNTHO. Bullying is about intent. Whether you’re using words or fists, bullying is about thievery in the world of social standing. If the intent is to defraud another of standing in order to bolster your own, it is bullying. Useless to attempt to define it as particular actions or behaviors. Using force to steal someone’s goods or social standing is thievery. Words can be forceful.
Anyway, never one for physical violence, I had a plan. Steal back the status.
When in the service I was mostly nonverbal; few ever heard me speak. My combat-tested idiot of a sergeant once told me publicly, ‘You a dud; evvuhbuddy know you a dud.’ To which I boldly replied, ‘And you uh inglish major, Sergeant Scott. Evvuhbuddy know you uh inglish major.’ The jaws of his toadies hit the ground in unison, to hear me speak. Then, the brutish moron was laughed to scorn by those he had hoped to impress. It angered the moron, but it did wonders in terms of stifling the regular public slights that were inspired in the other morons by such behavior from the moron in charge. Ultimately, the senior moron caught me laying down on the job and yelled at me all the way to the captain’s office. That’s a jailable offense in the service, and he let me know on that walk that he intended to see me in a jail cell. That would teach me to smart talk in front of his toadies.
When I got to the captain’s desk, I confessed that I was very shaken and scared by the sergeant’s repeated threats to throw me in jail, and doubly mortified because so many people heard this dressing down on the walk over (witnesses). I never heard another word about my dereliction of duty. You see, the UCMJ makes it a crime for an NCO to threaten an enlisted man with imprisonment. Sergeant Scott quit meeting eyes with me and I made it safely to discharge.
As messed up as I am, I can still see that bullies are about the weakest people on the playground of life. Rarely the brightest sorts, and easy to best if you have the nerve.
In fifth grade we all suffered under a very large physical bully in the sixth grade. At his father’s suggestion, the shortest guy in our class waded in on him and socked him twice in his big belly, which shocked the bully then made him refund his lunch on the playground. Partially digested food on your sneakers counteracts any social benefit from looking tough. Young Jerry grew up to be a great school athlete and the bully grew up to be a burnt out speed addict. I disagree with anyone who summarily rejects giving a bully a little ‘physical education.’ Neville Chamberlain was probably a very nice guy, but…
Nevertheless, I have always personally chosen to hang back as long as I can bear but, if pushed, seek an opportunity to socially kneecap the jerk. I never had respect for passive aggressive behavior, so I think of it as gorilla warfare. Chronic bullies deserve whatever comes to them, but humiliation is their just dessert.
