I don't think that at 18, I could have taken care of myself on my own. I was sort of "scaffolded" into being able to live independently, and this was a case in which "the system" worked to my advantage, in such a way that at 22, I am fully capable of living on my own (and would much prefer to live without my roommates...I have them solely for rent-paying purposes, not to help take care of me).
When I was still in high school, I had a real problem remembering hygiene, especially to put on new clothes and take showers. I would also occasionally forget to eat, though not particularly often. I loved making Ramen Noodles, and with the ability to boil water, I learned to make a great many simple meals with nice texture, branching from Ramen to Maccaroni to Spaghetti to pre-packaged ravioli, that were relatively low-maintenence yet still good. Also, microwavable frozen veggies helped me learn to add nutrition to my meals without worrying about extra chopping and other cook prep. I also learned that baking chicken breasts was relatively easy; I can just put it in a glass pan in the oven at 350* for 45 minutes, set a timer, and take it out. Anyway, enough about that.
My high school had a modular schedule, which helped me get used to not having the same classes every single day, even though they were at the same times each time we had them. By the time I got to college, I was used to having a schedule and a certain amount of things that I needed to get done.
My first two years of college, every freshman and sophomore was required to live in the dorms. Not everyone had a roommate, but I had roommates both years, and we shared a very close living space. Every floor had a Residence Assistant, or RA to help with any concerns. My first year, I had two roommates. I really struggled when they broke rules (like having alcohol in the dorms, or guys in our room overnight), but overall we got along well. Both of them were NT, and they provided good models and cues for self-care. It was much easier to learn from a peer saying, "I feel dirty, I need a shower," than hearing from my mom, "your hair looks greasy, you need a shower". I saw her self-cue, so I learned to self-cue. I still struggle with brushing my teeth, so I'm trying to make it part of my bedtime routine, but I forget often (sorry if that's nasty--also, I don't always have time for it in my morning routine, and if I"m running late, that's one of the first things that gets skipped).
Those first two years, I was also required to have a "meal plan", which meant that for my meals, I would swipe into the cafeteria and be able to get the food that I needed whenever I needed to eat. I was often invited to dinner by my friends and floormates, and sometimes I was just hungry enough to go myself. My sophomore year, there was even a cafeteria in the building I lived in, so that made it even easier to remember. I got sick of dorm food, so between my sophomore and junior year of college, I had my mom teach me some things about cooking that would allow me to expand beyond spaghetti and chicken. I still don't do much chopping, but I learned some simple things, like how to marinate chicken or use spices to make something that is easy to make in a slightly different way. I have learned to make lists for myself to know what I need to buy from the grocery store.
I'm actually struggling a bit right now, because I'm balancing four "jobs" (some as low as 2 hours a week, one is just a volunteer position), yet I don't have a set "daily schedule" yet this semester. Without a fairly set "This is what I do on this day," mentality, I flounder a bit. The structure really, really helps.
Actually, since this seems like it might be something that others might be struggling with, too, I'd definitely be open to answering any questions about living independently. If anyone has any advice for me, as well (like how to remember to brush your teeth!..among other things), I'd definitely be open to hearing that.
