Clichés I get told in regards to love

[Jeff T]

So I am a lost cause. Thanks not for the support I get from the same people at these forums. I might as well end my life now.

 

[Markness]

You know you repeat this same question frequently?

What is it you want people to say that they haven't
already said?

How many repetitions of *Hey dude, you're alive, so there's hope*
will it take?

I thought I only asked it two times.

I don’t know.

 

[paloftoon]

Markness, yeah ignore those cliche quotes. Dating is an illogical game and just about everyone is selfish including me!

'================

Tony Ramirez, get off your butt and exercise and get a job.

Service industries are desperate right now. If you wanted to clean toilets and not interact with too many people, you'd be able to get a job with minimal social interaction and make money. We need people to keep facilities clean. If you don't like that job, hey at least it's a start.

 

[Markness]

Markness, yeah ignore those cliche quotes. Dating is an illogical game and just about everyone is selfish including me!

Why do you say that?

 

[velociraptor]

1. “There is someone for everyone.”
- But why are there still people who go all their lives getting rejected and never establishing romantic relationships up to their deaths?

2. “Let love come to you!/Let it happen naturally!”
- Whenever I didn’t make the first move, I never got a date nor any sort of intimate relationship.

3. “It will happen when you least expect it!”
- I turned 34 recently and I’ve been struggling with hopelessness of ever finding love since I was 17. I really don’t understand the logic behind this saying.

I really get baffled and distraught when I am told these sayings. I feel like no one has gone through what I am having to deal with.

1. For the same reason there are stale dated cheques. Not everyone cashes them in for one reason or another.

2. I think that's bad advice. I have solved most of the issues in my life by taking the initiative. If I had waited for others to solve my problems I'd still be waiting.

3. That's actually true. Some of the best things in my life have been complete surprises. So have some of the worst things (the odds even out over time).

 

[Outdated]

Its a funny world. At times when I was looking for a girlfriend women seemed to treat me like I had the plague, when I wasn't looking was when they were interested.

My experience is that if a woman finds you interesting she'll let you know in rather obvious terms, which was very fortunate for me because sometimes my social skills aren't the best.

 

[paloftoon]

Why do you say that?

For example, I like guys that have a handsome face to me. They could be skinny, jocky, or somewhat chubby. Some people who are really chubby I might not be attracted to, but if they got significantly thinner, their facial appearance might change in a way that would attract me. This is all superficial based on appearance. Just because I'm attracted to someone's physical appearance more doesn't mean they would make a better partner for me and vice versa.

 

[Markness]

I talked to a gothic girl on Sunday at a music show in Austin. She told me her name and said she liked talking to me. I did the same things back to her. However, I flubbed on getting her contact info.

 

[tree]

Maybe you'll see her again.

An acquaintance-ship could build gradually.

I think, actually, I might be a little creeped out if
somebody wanted contact information from me
as a result of one casual encounter at a concert/show /
event/whatever.

There'd have to be a distinct reason for it, like we
both wanted to work on a project/campaign or
something. Otherwise, it would just feel really
sudden, to me.

 

[Rodafina]

I talked to a gothic girl on Sunday at a music show in Austin. She told me her name and said she liked talking to me. I did the same things back to her. However, I flubbed on getting her contact info.

Go to more shows in the same scene! Maybe you’ll run into her again.

 

[Markness]

Go to more shows in the same scene! Maybe you’ll run into her again.

She did say she often goes to the music clubs on the same street the club I met her at is on. That gives me some hope. I plan on seeing Napalm Death when they play in November.

 

[Markness]

I don’t know what I need to do in regards to “working on myself” so the likelihood of getting into a romantic relationship is more possible. I also worry every day I go without a loving partner is a wasted one.

 

[tree]

I don’t know what I need to do in regards to “working on myself” so the likelihood of getting into a romantic relationship is more possible. I also worry every day I go without a loving partner is a wasted one.

Continue to read the book and reply in the discussion
PM. For a start.

How's the walking 15 minutes a day going, so far?
And the goals about food?

 

[paloftoon]

Go to more shows in the same scene! Maybe you’ll run into her again.

Go to shows because you want to go to the show. Not because you might run into her specifically. Certainly can keep her in mind as a potential date, but keep looking for other people to consider too.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I don't know how big the club was but in a big crowd the odds of running into her again are slim.

 

[Aspychata]

I talked to a gothic girl on Sunday at a music show in Austin. She told me her name and said she liked talking to me. I did the same things back to her. However, I flubbed on getting her contact info.

That is success. She liked talking to you. Good job. You nailed it. Now you just need to get over being nervous. Okay? Friendship starting out is okay. Don't say hey , l haven't dated for one year, maybe we can get engaged. Just start slow. It's nice if you hang out, have fun. See if you two are muy compatible. If not, maybe she has a friend.

 

[Aspychata]

I don’t know what I need to do in regards to “working on myself” so the likelihood of getting into a romantic relationship is more possible. I also worry every day I go without a loving partner is a wasted one.

But if you spend more time feeling sorry for yourself, you have turned "worry" into a job. Instead, think about what kinda of person you hope to meet. Will she laugh a lot, will she hate to cook, will she think you are cuddly? Can you cook? Woman can melt for a guy who makes a simple meal, because we are so use to having to cook.

 

[Markness]

That is success. She liked talking to you. Good job. You nailed it. Now you just need to get over being nervous. Okay? Friendship starting out is okay. Don't say hey , l haven't dated for one year, maybe we can get engaged. Just start slow. It's nice if you hang out, have fun. See if you two are muy compatible. If not, maybe she has a friend.

I am open to friendships with women. In fact, I wish I had more female friends in person.

 

[Markness]

But if you spend more time feeling sorry for yourself, you have turned "worry" into a job. Instead, think about what kinda of person you hope to meet. Will she laugh a lot, will she hate to cook, will she think you are cuddly? Can you cook? Woman can melt for a guy who makes a simple meal, because we are so use to having to cook.

I would be happy with someone who thinks I am cuddly.

I can cook simple meals actually.

 

[Aspychata]

It's much better to focus on the positive. Today l was in the dumps because l thought l will never find anybody to fix my roof. So l fretted, moaned. Thought about how horrible life is, (cue giant pity party).Then l got out of my sad clown face and started calling around.

My point is everything can feel like a struggle. So just keep working towards your goal. More female friends. More confidence. Maybe start a blog here about everyday, you did something to initiate contact, and how it went. There are other men here who go thru the same struggles. So they say, hey, l was like you. It did feel helpless. But l just kept moving forward. They are trying to give you hope, (not make you feel bad about yourself).