Corrupt A Wish

[Flinty]

Granted. You haven't started, and you will have writer's block until February 2023.

I wish to get to the end of the Boring Months.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted. The Boring Months are over and the Mind-Numbingly Tedious months have begun.

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Once you wake up, you will have to stay awake until Friday the 18th.

I wish our company's vacation process were remotely coherent.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted. NO VACATION EVER, FOR ANY REASON. DON'T LIKE IT? STOP WHINING AND QUIT. Coherent, isn't it?

I wish homework was illegal.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. But we need homework to learn, but no one pays full attention in class.

I wish I didn't eat so much at the restaurant.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You waited until you got home.

I wish this wind would die down.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. The wind stops forever. Every summer from now on, you'll realize how much you need it.

I wish I didn't let my feelings for someone get to my head.

 

[StephF]

Granted, now your feelings for people go straight to your feet.

I wish I won the lottery jackpot !

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. The jackpot is five dollars.

I wish people understood that I'm not going to answer my phone at 12 in the morning.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. They call anyway.

I wish that I knew when my dad was going to visit.

 

[Vinca]

Granted! An alarm now sounds continuously in your home for 7 days prior to his arrival.

I wish I could live a happy healthy life without ever needing to spend any time sleeping.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. But doesn't staying awake all the time get boring?

I wish Kris would stop asking me questions about Chemistry.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

Granted but now Kris blew up her house because she overestimated proportions.

I wish I didn't just overdraw my bank account.

 

[tree]

Wish Granted.
Now you have maxed out 15 credit cards
that you didn't even know you had.

I wish the floor was warm.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. The floor is so warm it melted. Now I guess you have to walk around in hot liquid.

I wish my cat would stop being lazy and get off the couch.

 

[Maelstrom]

Granted...a Hell hound pops out of Trees melted floor runs over to your house and jumps through your window for a kitty snack. Kitty does not wish to be a Hell hound snack and has levitated to the top of your head. You are now screaming at a Hell hound from the top of your piano with Kitty Meow meow stapled to your head.
The Hell hound is is trying to decide who to bite first...meanwhile burning sulfur is dripping all over the rug... prospects look grim!

I wish I knew my future better!...hopefully it is better than yours Reedstorm17?

I have forgotten how to do name tags?

 

[Buzzerfly]

Granted, but now you forgot your past and it turns out that your future only seemed nice in comparison to how bad your past was!

I wish I could find a decent apartment with no freak landlord(s).

 

[Maelstrom]

Granted your new Apartment is in a deserted fallout zone...no land lord, no rent. Just dented cans salvaged from the market, and mutant Zombies trying to break through the stair well at night to eat your brains.

I wish I could get to sleep better!...

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You fall asleep so easily now that as soon as you wake up, you fall right back to sleep again.

I wish my cousin would stop chasing me.

 

[Joel's Hear]

Granted. Due to freak cyclones in your area freshwater bull sharks now inhabit all of your favorite swimming holes and they begin chasing you.

I wish I had a really well-made Japanese dinner set before me.