deleted

[Judge]

It's an old dynamic in online forums. Some people genuinely come looking for answers, while others come looking exclusively for validation they can never achieve.

IMO there are only degrees of understanding and tolerance to navigate any mixed relationship between the Neurotypical and the Neurodiverse. And perhaps most of all, the existence of unconditional love.

If you put your hopes and dreams into what amounts as a "Pygmalion" (My Fair Lady) scenario, you're doomed to social frustration and failure.

 

[Kirsty]

I was close. Thought it meant 'other person.'

 

[orphan]

I'm sorry if I said something wrong.
Did not mean to harm.
Trying to help.
Twilightzone76, Wish you well.

 

[girlwonders]

No Orphan you said nothing wrong. She probably deleted her posts because she was (rightfully) embarrassed by her words.

 

[Bolletje]

You did nothing wrong, orphan.

 

[xudo]

I'm sorry if I said something wrong.
Did not mean to harm.
Trying to help.
Twilightzone76, Wish you well.

It wasn't anything you said. I think she finally realised that she wasn't going to get the exact answer that she'd already decided she was looking for before she even came here.

 

[Judge]

It must be frustrating though for many NTs. I mean, how many NTs congregate together just to share NT experiences? For them most any concern relative to Neurodiversity is likely to be sought only through Neurodiverse sources. Where they must often face dealing with our perspective head-on.

In most cases while I can relate to the autistic person in question, it's unlikely that an NT is going to appreciate or accept what I have to say. Even though I've often "been there" and know more of what they are upset about than I perhaps even want to admit.

The tragic part of all these type of posts for me is often just how much I can relate to the guy those angry and frustrated partners are dealing with. It's nothing to be proud about either. And that not every situation has real solutions outside of understanding and tolerance. While it's entirely my choice, whenever I respond to such threads I'm forced to relive all my failed relationships as well.

So it's that much more painful not only to relive it all, but to be rejected based on the hindsight I'm giving away which I didn't have at the time to possibly save or give up those past relationships.

 

[orphan]

Giving is the best therapy

 

[ladybug]

No Orphan you said nothing wrong. She probably deleted her posts because she was (rightfully) embarrassed by her words.

I was just catching up on this post, and for what its worth, your words were very balanced and informative (I'm quite new and am trying to catch-up and learn as much as I can).... any relationship advice, that can actively help me understand, 'how' my bf perceives MY actions to him and how I need to alter myself to be more intune with him, are so helpful to me..... so for what its worth... THANKS!!