Depressed/Want a Girlfriend

[Markness]

I still want a girlfriend despite how the odds seem to be against me. I don’t want the years of struggling to be in vain and I don’t want my naysayers to celebrate.

 

[MildredHubble]

I still want a girlfriend despite how the odds seem to be against me. I don’t want the years of struggling to be in vain and I don’t want my naysayers to celebrate.

You'll get there, rush not! And just ignore the naysayers! You find a girlfriend for you (and of course her!) not them Who cares what they think!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Seems to me that the naysayers you frequently refer to are not people you have any relationship with, so why listen?

What about your recent success?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

So do I and the odds are stacked against me too.

I talk to woman but most that I talk too are in a relationship or who approach me are old woman which I find annoying.

 

[tree]

I still want a girlfriend despite how the odds seem to be against me. I don’t want the years of struggling to be in vain and I don’t want my naysayers to celebrate.

So, you're looking at the recent acquaintance moving to New Orleans
as an opportunity to sometime visit her over there?

 

[Crossbreed]

I still want a girlfriend despite how the odds seem to be against me. I don’t want the years of struggling to be in vain and I don’t want my naysayers to celebrate.

What happened to Jennifer...?

 

[Markness]

What happened to Jennifer...?

She told me it was because of a “new relationship.”

 

[Gerontius]

She told me it was because of a “new relationship.”

I hope you were nice enough to celebrate it with her! Don't forget about how other people feel when they tell someone good news and the other person seems all sad or mopey about it.

I have parents like that; if I do something good or exciting they are so skeptical about it that I have about given up on telling them anything fun.

And I asked a girl once if she was single and she said she was going with another fellow: I celebrated with her and she told me something else how to find single ladies. I took her advice and went out and now the girl friend and I are coming up on a year almost, together, and we hope to be married.

I would ordinarily say I bet you were decent enough to celebrate her success but at the same time you can never tell these days with people. Be a gentleman, Markness, it will help you be liked by the likeable people (up to and including yourself.)

And ask her how's the metal scene in New Orleans.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

@Markness; I agree with Gerontius. Act like a gentleman and you are preparing yourself for success. You need to question why you are only taking ordinary events so negatively. It seems that you cannot remember the positive and build upon it. Be positive and you may run into somebody who will take the time to help you when you are kind and accepting.

 

[Markness]

So, you're looking at the recent acquaintance moving to New Orleans
as an opportunity to sometime visit her over there?

I suppose there’s the possibility but it would involve a lot of foresight and planning.

 

[tree]

It would.

Maybe just keep the acquaintance at a low key level,
exchange some texts, now and then.

It was fun and there can be more fun, with other people.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I suppose there’s the possibility but it would involve a lot of foresight and planning.

I did not know you were still on speaking terms. I had issues with a woman who moved back to Long Island because of the pandemic. We don't talk to each other anymore. I even had issues with a woman who still attends church, but because of the pandemic, I overshared with her and drifted apart. She still attends the church I go to, but we barely talk and when we don't talk much. We never message anymore. I deleted her from my contacts and have her chats archived.

 

[Markness]

Even when I was 14 1/2, I wanted a girlfriend but I was too shy to ask girls out.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Even when I was 14 1/2, I wanted a girlfriend but I was too shy to ask girls out.

So was I. I use to run away when I was 18.

 

[Markness]

I keep getting thoughts that either time is running out for me or that I am too far behind.

 

[tree]

I keep getting thoughts that either time is running out for me or that I am too far behind.

Yes, you do keep having those thoughts.
And then you are unhappy.

What can you do about that?

 

[Markness]

Yes, you do keep having those thoughts.
And then you are unhappy.

What can you do about that?

I really don’t know. I’m stuck in a rut.

 

[tree]

Yes, you are.

You bring up the ideas that you're 'too far behind' and
'time is running out' frequently. Generally every week.
Toward the end of the week. Sometimes lapsing over
to Monday.

You ask the same questions; people attempt to reassure
you that the ideas are of little to no merit. Yet, you
keep posing the same framework: *can't catch up*
and *time is running out.*

What does your therapist have to say about this?

 

[Markness]

She thinks it’s not helpful because it’s rumination and not being mindful nor focused on the present. I am in the “dorsal stage” too often.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I really don’t know. I’m stuck in a rut.

I feel the same way.