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Describe your favorite movie as boring as possible

Climatologist gets a chilly reception from a pissy Vice President over global warming.

 
Fem Fatale author teases the police detectives interrogating her.

 
Child prodigy turned rich dude packs his ego with him to a desert warzone and almost dies distracting the people around him. Gets captured by terrorists, then some unlicensed guy performs surgery on him and puts some electrified metal in him. Child prodigy turned rich dude uses said electrified metal to create a full blown technological suit so they can escape, and then decides he's gonna save the world with it, because why not.

Iron Man
 
My understanding of this film:

People fly around in outer space, blowing each other up until the movie is over and some sort of resolution is presumably found.


Star Wars
 
A foul mouthed, short tempered athlete tries a new sport to save his grandmother's house, but gets in an altercation with a reptile and an emcee in the process

Happy Gilmore
 
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The audience learns to be friendly and courteous when conversing with Billy Idol.

The Wedding Singer
iu
 
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Comedian George Carlin made an instructional film about being kind to your fellow man, and staying joyous.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
iu
 
Most of the women are very much more hairier than the main male character.
Planet of the Apes
iu
 
Uncle with attention deficit who is routinely given everyone's money, loses it. Family business is in turmoil. Then a guy hallucinates, maybe.

It's a Wonderful Life
 
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Nerdy kid fantasizes about owning a fancy weapon, accidentally marred his cornea, and becomes a pink nightmare.

A Christmas Story
 
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