Do u have romantic preference?

[Ella Spell]

^

I hate when people say they love someone because, for example, "He makes me feel beautiful. He makes me feel smart. He brings out the best in me." WTH. Love isn't about yourself feeling beautiful and smart. It's about admiring the other person for who they are. If that's reciprocal, I consider it a match.

 

[Twilight]

I've seen a few threads in here with people stating what they want or expect from a partner, none of them state what they're prepared to offer in return.

You get what you give.

I have typically given way more than I've gotten.

I just want someone who is willing to meet me halfway and who I have things in common with.

 

[Ella Spell]

All too often one person ends up donating free emotional and/or physical labour to the other, but they get nothing in return.

 

[Outdated]

I have typically given way more than I've gotten.
I just want someone who is willing to meet me halfway and who I have things in common with.

Both those statements are familiar to many of us but it's not always that way. I have met some wonderful people in my life. Don't let bad experiences stop you from being you.

 

[Twilight]

Both those statements are familiar to many of us but it's not always that way. I have met some wonderful people in my life. Don't let bad experiences stop you from being you.

I don't. I am wary and cautious about who I date, though, but I don't think that is a bad thing.

 

[Judge]

Most of my relationships weren't based on whatever I thought we had or didn't have in common.

Looking back, they just happened mostly as a matter of "unspoken chemistry". Go figure.

"When Harry Met Sally" - Art imitating life?

 

[blue_bird]

Yes, not so much on looks but I am generally put off by women who smoke, drink, do drugs etc.

If she is easy to get along with I'm not really bothered much about other details. Difficult, argumentative people are definitely not for me. I just don't have the mental strength to cope with that.

 

[Twilight]

I didn't prioritize having things in common as much in the past. I think that, through experience, I've learned that that's what I need. Relying on chemistry is part of what led to my abusive marriage, I think.

 

[Outdated]

Relying on chemistry is part of what led to my abusive marriage, I think.

I think a lot of us have fallen in to that trap, but oh what a sweet trap it can be. No matter how sensible and logical we try to be we are all still human.

 

[Twilight]

I think a lot of us have fallen in to that trap, but oh what a sweet trap it can be. No matter how sensible and logical we try to be we are all still human.

I'm not.

In all seriousness, I'd rather remain single than be with someone I deem unsuitable. I know what I like and want.

 

[Judge]

I'm not.

In all seriousness, I'd rather remain single than be with someone I deem unsuitable. I know what I like and want.

Indeed. It's why don't ask me whether or not I'd be willing to sacrifice solitude for companionship. A lesson I already learned many years ago.

 

[Outdated]

In all seriousness, I'd rather remain single than be with someone I deem unsuitable. I know what I like and want.

This is very true for me as well. I'm a very giving and caring character but if that's not being reciprocated then it won't last long.

 

[Sasha22]

The threads were about "what you're looking for", not what you want to give... I suppose if it's a good match, you are able to offer what the other person is looking for. If it's a bad match, not sure what you have to offer will make much difference.

Also, there's being able to give (what the other needs, what you need to give), and there's also being able to receive (what you need, what the other needs to give...) All this is a challenge, I believe relationships can rarely be cut into "good guy - bad guy" situations. It's most often a "good combo/bad combo" situation.

 

[Judge]

If it's a bad match, not sure what you have to offer will make much difference.

Then factor in the likelihood of what you don't know about the person you are living with. Where it all spills out over time and circumstances.

My experience has been that relationships are seldom so transparent. Where we often get some very pleasant, and some very nasty surprises about people. Far from what our earlier impressions may have been.

 

[Rogue Princess]

I've seen a few threads in here with people stating what they want or expect from a partner, none of them state what they're prepared to offer in return.

You get what you give.

Wouldn't that turn it into a personals ad?

 

[Dagan]

I don't think that I have complex standards. I just want a gal that will put in the effort to understand and work with me as much as I will with her.

Can't be narcissistic. Geez, I have experienced that to the worst, and I will not deal with it ever again.
Like music, films and just the arts because I do work in several fields of entertainment, still.
Understand that I have (what is considered baggage, I'm sure, but I don't consider it that way) a daughter with some medical issues, and she will absolutely come first in life for me.
I'm pretty specific to take care of my needs before any wants, always.
Understand that I can and will want to be a provider type, a romantic, I'm still going to hit obstacles, bumps and fail here and there...so, please, don't give me the third degree and just rail against me for it. I assure you that I know of and feel bad about mistakes and flaws more than anyone else ever has to pile on me about. (edit: definitely call me out on mistakes, though, I don't mean that, that shouldn't occur. I just mean, don't make a full day or week of hating me to no end because of whatever mistakes after calling them out).
Everything with me is regarding "trust" and "comfort." I tend to second guess several things in a relationship, but again, it's to not be mistaken or make mistakes because I don't want to cause a lack of trust or comfort for said lady.
I can't be with a gal who deals with severe depression or can't work her way out of it because I have found that I am way more reactive to the emotions of others and fall into what they feel more than what I can generate on my own. I know that may sound weak or lacking for a man, but it's me being honest. I can't handle being with someone who just spirals down, down, down too often, as I become miserable and have to break away to reset, recharge and just even want to exist as my regular self anymore.
Understand also, that I am not a prude by any means...but...I'm not one to just hop in the sheets in any instant. There must be a mental, upstairs connection (trust and comfort) before my physical nature ever kicks in to prove worthy.

Dang, I feel like I just wrote a dating bio. Oops.

 

[All-Rounder]

My guy isn't afraid of my philosophies, and I like that about him. He's also able to spend a long time by my side since he's retired and I like to hang out and talk or lounge and relax taking care of my skin's necessities.

He's got life experience and knows how to fix things and I'm doing the setups and repairs of the house.

He's a good cook and a gourmet.

He helps me with ideas for my dressing style.

He's a gamer and a good sniper.

He has dogs and trains them.

 

[Tom]

Just one. She had to be handy with a service rifle. This is a marvelous Ukrainian Lass with an AK74, but mine could do the M16 and UZI.

 

[1ForAll]

Not now, no, as it does not apply as I am married. Prior to marriage the preferences were only: nonsmoker, nondrinker, no children, honest, self-motivated and having kindness.

 

[Ella Spell]

Im not looking either, but I think the idea was to put general things that were always important to us rather than what our current partners bring to the table.

My first list (integrity) was the list I had most of my adult life. They’re kind of non-negotiable. The second list (plays guitar) was more of a wish list I always had, even though those things aren’t as important as the first list.