Do you ever feel like you're making up your autism/aspergers?

[Maelstrom]

Autism and aspergers really are not the same in my opinion frankly I think the whole thing is very poorly classified.

Classic Autism, (which I am mostly), is extra connections in the brain that were not culled (cut) during the early Teen years when the personality sets.
It is this culling of the brain that causes many teens to commit suicide as the brain changes are too much for them to handle at the time.
The shut down in Classic Autsim is not cause by lack of brain ability but Too Much connections between the brain sections allowing information to flow too fast from too many directions swamping the sensory processor.
Think a 8 bit computer wired with 32 bit buss lines...traffic jam central...this is why familiarity and reducing distractions in social situations help shut down any reduction of processing and needed annalyzing speed things up and reduce the traffic jam in the processor.
Autism actually makes you smarter in a sense in later years as buss line pathways and whatever get more and worn in (orderly) and the end result is you have a more power Brain computer than NTs.

Aspergers manifests the same social symptoms in social situations as Autism missing social cues and not being able to read faces...but it is real face blindness due to a poorly developed face reading brain sector...some people with it are so bad they basically can not see faces at all in a sense. With aspergers the face and social cue information is just lost...never seen...with autism shutdown it is not lost but stored as a repressed memory that can be seen latter usually the next day...and you get to feel the full humiliation of all the missed social cues from the day before...leading to depression.

So to summarize my view Classic Autism is too many wires between brain things...Apergers is a poor face reading processor in the face seeing brain section.
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There are many low brain sector functioning, or excessively high brain sectors, combinations. These often get called (Autism) but really are not...they are just inner brain development aberrations, (this means brain sections in the baby grew at not normal rates.)
This is often called the savant thing being a savant is not all good...the brain growth aberration tend to come in pairs I think this is a blood circulation (brain food issue) as the veins split to feed different brain sections one pipe is too small and one too big so one brain section grows faster (more food) and one slower (less food).
My guess is Mothers with High blood pressure in early baby development are more prone to have a brain sector autistic baby also anything in the bloodstream that could damage growing baby blood vessel cells in baby embrio's could cause brain sector savant autism...genetic growth patterns could as well.
-------------------------------------------------------
I am Classic autism with maybe double high low pairs, or more?, very High visual processing sector, and logic sector,
Low language text memory, Low audio and short term memory.
My Classic Autism extra cross brain connections give me also a strange sideways brain walking thing, almost like synesthesia?
My brain librarian fetches matching linked to things I didn't ask for, and I can feel my brain add things up Empathic Addition.
I hope this helps you some?

 

[Judge]

I've never sought any form of entitlement over this. Nor am I looking for attention or sympathy as a result of it. If anything, given the nature of my neurological profile I fundamentally shun attention of any kind in real life.

Let's just say that I no longer doubt being on the spectrum. However I often doubt that others may believe it, given the complexities of traits, behaviors and their amplitude, and how subtle at times projecting autism may appear.

Then compound it all with an international medical community which is often anything but "on the same page" in terms of defining our condition, whatever they choose to call it, be it HFA or ASD or whatever.

I know who- and what I am. Whether others do as well or how they choose to define it- or me becomes less of an issue to me with every passing day. After all, I have to live with this. They don't.

 

[Streetwise]

i think again because your neuronal connections are concentrated in the area of the brain that controls logic you cant perceive that h.f.a is autism as well its just that we communicate differently to those who are called l.f.a what is innacurately termed kanners autism no person on the autism spectrum is an exact copy of the next person on the autism spectrum its just how nts pigeonhole us so they can control us
your neuronal can change and grow from different stimuli trauma, medicines ,speech therapy ,mins and vits, rest, illness, disease they are not solidly fixed

Autism and aspergers really are not the same in my opinion frankly I think the whole thing is very poorly classified.

Classic Autism, (which I am mostly), is extra connections in the brain that were not culled (cut) during the early Teen years when the personality sets.
It is this culling of the brain that causes many teens to commit suicide as the brain changes are too much for them to handle at the time.
The shut down in Classic Autsim is not cause by lack of brain ability but Too Much connections between the brain sections allowing information to flow too fast from too many directions swamping the sensory processor.
Think a 8 bit computer wired with 32 bit buss lines...traffic jam central...this is why familiarity and reducing distractions in social situations help shut down any reduction of processing and needed annalyzing speed things up and reduce the traffic jam in the processor.
Autism actually makes you smarter in a sense in later years as buss line pathways and whatever get more and worn in (orderly) and the end result is you have a more power Brain computer than NTs.

Aspergers manifests the same social symptoms in social situations as Autism missing social cues and not being able to read faces...but it is real face blindness due to a poorly developed face reading brain sector...some people with it are so bad they basically can not see faces at all in a sense. With aspergers the face and social cue information is just lost...never seen...with autism shutdown it is not lost but stored as a repressed memory that can be seen latter usually the next day...and you get to feel the full humiliation of all the missed social cues from the day before...leading to depression.

So to summarize my view Classic Autism is too many wires between brain things...Apergers is a poor face reading processor in the face seeing brain section.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
There are many low brain sector functioning, or excessively high brain sectors, combinations. These often get called (Autism) but really are not...they are just inner brain development aberrations, (this means brain sections in the baby grew at not normal rates.)
This is often called the savant thing being a savant is not all good...the brain growth aberration tend to come in pairs I think this is a blood circulation (brain food issue) as the veins split to feed different brain sections one pipe is too small and one too big so one brain section grows faster (more food) and one slower (less food).
My guess is Mothers with High blood pressure in early baby development are more prone to have a brain sector autistic baby also anything in the bloodstream that could damage growing baby blood vessel cells in baby embrio's could cause brain sector savant autism...genetic growth patterns could as well.
-------------------------------------------------------
I am Classic autism with maybe double high low pairs, or more?, very High visual processing sector, and logic sector,
Low language text memory, Low audio and short term memory.
My Classic Autism extra cross brain connections give me also a strange sideways brain walking thing, almost like synesthesia?
My brain librarian fetches matching linked to things I didn't ask for, and I can feel my brain add things up Empathic Addition.
I hope this helps you some?

 

[Mr Allen]

I'm not making it up, but I do regret being Aspie, if I wasn't, I would've probably got a part time job years ago, especially if I didn't have other physical ailments.

 

[WildCat]

@Maelstrom I love your theory there (sorry, I didn't want to quote a long post here) - I'm technically a "classic autistic" myself, and a whole lot of it (namely the part about face reading and missed social cues) holds very true for me...all of it comes back to bite me in the rear the day after, if not longer than that...sometimes weeks. I believe it's due to the inability to process that stuff in real-time that gets me.

 

[Streetwise]

@Maelstrom I love your theory there (sorry, I didn't want to quote a long post here) - I'm technically a "classic autistic" myself, and a whole lot of it (namely the part about face reading and missed social cues) holds very true for me...all of it comes back to bite me in the rear the day after, if not longer than that...sometimes weeks. I believe it's due to the inability to process that stuff in real-time that gets me.

IM aspie and i have so many bite marks from not understanding nts its a wonder i have any circulation in my rear

 

[Gracey]

I'm relatively new to the idea, so yes I still look for other explanations for behaviours as it's something I've done for most of my adult life. (Never considering Asperger's until quite recently) I attribute most of my actions to stress, which I suppose isn't too far from the truth.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I've lived in America for a really really long time but I'm not originally from here, and have been considered as an odd duck regardless of country. As far as making up Asperger's...well, all of the struggles I've gone through and the quirks I exhibit are as real as the keyboard I'm using to type this, but there are a few of them that I often wonder if I subconsciously labeled them as part of my Asperger's even though they might be present in an NT as well.

For example, the fact that I totally obsess over the video game I play right now - I keep saying that it's one of my special interests because I don't only play it but I also talk about it to people, read websites about it, watch multiple YouTube/Twitch streamers play it, and have made over 40 online contacts to potentially play it with. However, is there any chance that it's just an obsession that could happen to any NT as well? I mean being obsessed over a game has to be common among all people.

I also have very low tolerance to slippery paper textures, it gives me goosebumps. I've been wondering if that's an Asperger's quality or if it's simply an unpleasant texture to deal with. I'm also extremely sensitive to sudden noises, like thunder - like at work, whenever I hear a sudden thunderclap out of nowhere, I'm the only one who gasps, and all my colleagues are NT; although, isn't it possible that sudden noises scaring people to death is also common outside of Asperger's?

For many years I just didn't have any answers as to why I am the way I am - so could I be doing this as a way of confirming that I definitely have Asperger's? Don't get me wrong, many of my qualities definitely fit the Aspie profile, my doc said the same thing - but I just wonder if I might be exaggerating at times for the reason I mentioned.

 

[Maelstrom]

This is what Nordic accents sound like talking English, the Faroese accent is in there, I may have to upload a video of myself speaking English at some point... *Hides*
Btw, so sorry this thread is gotten so far off track, Momo

...that is funny his voice goes up a whole octave talking English.
I have a a fair bit of Viking blood...but I only remember seeing my Norwegian Grandfather once before he died... so no Norwegian language at all which is a shame!

My Autism accent do to a slow hearing processor is California pot smoking surfer!
I can not actually hear it unless it is recorded and played back to me!
It is not terribly helpful on convincing anyone I have a IQ above 10 so it is pretty hard for me to convince anyone I can do what I can do on physics...the bad math scores doesn't help between my dyslexia and poor text memory I have trouble retaining math skills as it is very hard to covert math into pictures and I mostly only remember pictures. Stories I can convert into pictures fairly easily so reading is not much of a problem.

 

[ksheehan88]

This is what Nordic accents sound like talking English, the Faroese accent is in there, I may have to upload a video of myself speaking English at some point... *Hides*
Btw, so sorry this thread is gotten so far off track, Momo

I love how he sounds!! My new favourite accent <3

 

[Streetwise]

thats so funny i have that reaction to a Glasgow account (Scotland)!!!!!! there is a Glasgow in the Midwest of the u.s.a

Jeez, that is something...

 

[Streetwise]

its not as much the swear words as the as just conversing
for instance there is the exclamation"she wants to know the far end of the fart and which way it blows " but i think thats just old English
it means they

I would be curious to hear the Geordie swear words then

 

[VenomousAlbino]

In the year and a half since I was diagnosed, I haven't felt myself that I was making it up, but I have felt that other people in work seem to think that I am.

The few people that I have disclosed my diagnosis to outside of HR have generally given the response of "you don't come across as autistic" or had an air about them that says "are you really, though?"

 

[Streetwise]

the person is nosy-ignores boundaries of respect

its not as much the swear words as the as just conversing
for instance there is the exclamation"she wants to know the far end of the fart and which way it blows " but i think thats just old English
it means they

 

[Aeolienne]

What really confuses me about my autism is how I'm so different from other people with the same label. Take employment, for instance. The other autistic people I've met seem to fall into two categories. Either they're resigned to being unemployed and seem quite happy volunteering whilst claiming benefits sufficient to enable them to live in areas which many working people can't afford to live in. Or they've managed to turn their special interest into a career and done quite well out of it, often earning a bit on the side as a speaker banging on about how autism isn't a disability, it's a wonderful difference.

Going even further back, I've never forgotten the first time I knowingly met a fellow Aspie. (I hadn't been officially diagnosed yet, but the specialist who'd written my referral letter encouraged me to attend her support group.) This guy asked me if I liked swimming and when I said yes, he asked me if I liked to wear my swimsuit under my clothes or did I change at the pool. I reported this to the group facilitator who told me "Oh, that's just X's obssession - women's underwear" and if he asked me that again I should tell him off as if he'd been a naughty schoolboy. I was aghast. How could I have anything in common with such a weirdo?

In some respects I seem to be so mildly affected. I don't suffer from sensory impairments, I can't be bothered with this gluten-free casein-free malarkey, I can sit quietly in cinemas and put up with open-plan office environments. And yet on the relationship front it's as if I've barely advanced out of adolescence: I've only ever had one relationship, between the ages of 37 and 40 (I'm now 42).

 

[Chance]

Do I feel like I am making up my ASD?

Nope, I had huge signs when I was very young. I flapped my hands, I pulled my ears, or covered my ears (cause it hurt to hear, and it still does). I have always been a little clumsy (wobbly). I cant imagine making up these stupid sensory situations. I didn't want them, I would give them up in a split second.

I have wanted to get rid of them all my life. So much so that I learned to mimmic what seemed normal, but it takes massive amounts of energy to do this, and I cant do it for long periods of time.

However I did grow out of a lot of the full blow autism signs, and I have spent mass amounts of time, energy, and money trying to overcome as much of it as I can. However, as I grew up other things took their place. Like the flapping and all that is gone. I can control most of my body movements real well now, but Tourettes showed up later in the form of words just getting "stuck." Its like I will be doing well and a words will just half way come out and then the rest of it draaaags out. When this happens sometimes my thoughts derail, its like something misfires and it sucks.

I seem to be a lot like Maelstrom, and Jonathan. I don't think I am near as much Aspie, as I am Autistic. That is why I mostly just say ASD... And even then that is just an umbrella for lots of smaller things that equal autism and all the extras. I have had shut down issues all my life. My brain is just like an unstoppable switching station that is in overdrive most of the time.

It's not that autistic people are stupid... No one can imagine the things going through my head at any given time, especially when I am in unfamiliar surroundings or places I simply don't want to be. Outwardly I seem to come across as this distant person, who might seem a little confused, or maybe even aggravated at times.
What people don't see is I am trying so hard to grab the thoughts that are important for that moment, and trying to manage all the words, the posture, and the correct answers to reply with... Thats the short list.

I am mostly fully functional but I think very analytically and it is like my thoughts are pictures, or else those memories just don't seem to stick. I don't understand most jokes, some unusual slang, and I don't notice body language real well, or I misunderstand it.

So heres the deal, I wouldn't never care to fake it. Its all I know. I know I am different, but that doesn't make me less, or more than others. I have a lot of issues, but sometimes those issues give me insights and abilities that "normal" people cant even imagine.

 

[Streetwise]

more more research from medical science a human baby is the most is the most intelligent it will ever be in the first six months of life
i wonder how long children imprint for animals do it immediately they focus their eyes at birth

I have sometimes wondered if I don't really have Asperger's and I have just been subconsciously mimicking my dad's autism all my life. I don't really think that's true, it is just a thought that's crossed my mind before.
Other similar thoughts I have had are things to the effect of "I'm not really on the spectrum, I just don't fit in here (in America) because I'm European, so people think I'm odd and awkward and have therefore labeled me as autistic," or "I'm misdiagnosed and I actually have a personality disorder and not Asperger's."
I don't think any of those things are true at all, as far as all the professionals are concerned I definitely have Asperger's, I just sometimes wonder if there could be a different explanation for my behaviour.

 

[Streetwise]

type in' auf wiedersehn pet' for light relief

Ohhh, okay, I think I have heard that accent in a movie or show before. I don't think it's impossible to understand, there are some accents I have a harder time with like the American Boston accent.

 

[Streetwise]

on YouTube

type in' auf wiedersehn pet' for light relief

 

[OlLiE]

my mother told me a couple of times that as a child i was emotionally unapproachable, i wasn't comfortable with receiving affection, was very aware and very difficult and demanding

my earliest memories are of being aware that i didn't understand people, that i was always the observer outside, looking in, other kids were able to have fun and seemed to experience while i was trying to understand the concept of fun and observing life

i still feel that way today, i've gotten some weird/upsetting feedback, the worst was when, in the middle of intercourse, a new girlfriend told me my eyes were dead, that it was like i wasn't there, that really made me feel great - when i go out to eat something, i have to put in my earplugs and i still catch myself observing people that are acting happy, but not really understanding it

after my 3 day autism screening, i asked them if it was borderline, their reaction was, 'no really, it isn't', it turns out that i am (was) a stubborn person with enormous reserves for faking normality, and that i had no understanding of my own boundaries and always just kept on going, as a result it wasn't very visible

recently those reserves turned out to be depleted and i have hit the wall and have changed quite a bit by trying to adapt to these new insights, i can no longer just pretend, smile and put up with things, to outsiders it looks like a night and day change,

i am high functioning, so i am lucky in some aspects but i sometimes wonder if i may be using the spectrum as an excuse for my failings, it was even harder when my dad suggested that i was 'integrating' into the role because i was so different to before and was just searching for an explanation, i had to explain to him that he never knew what was going on into my head as a child because he was always put working to support the family

at the end of the day, doing things about those things that are supposed to be upsetting to people on the spectrum has helped, i had already started discovered some on my own before the diagnosis, so i don't really care what its called, as long as i find a way to get my life back on the rails