Do You Feel Like An Alien?

[Sev]

For anyone that's into X-men, I personally feel like I'm one the "mutants" in this world.

 

[Marvin]

Perhaps the problem is equating 'normal' with 'majority'. I'm pretty sure if we were the majority, the social behaviors of the NTs would automatically appear weird and out of place.

 

[Autism]

I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.

Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.

Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

To me it is the other way around, the other people to me feel like Aliens because everything I watch them do make no sense at all. If they chitter chatter all day with no meaning, why then would you be the one who feels like an Alien? If they do menial things all the time, and they do, why would you then berate yourself for not having sympathy for them?
I politely disagree that this is a lack of social connections, because social connections rely on the common sense of people.

Sooooo, to make a long story short. If I have common sense and I watch people who do not in any way have some type of common sense then it is THEM who are living menial and unfulfilled lives.

Humanity is a group of people that should have the following characteristics: friendly, non intruding, empathic, helpful people that are not jealous.
Ok, so then look around you. Do you see those kind of people around you? Do they treat you with those characteristics?
No? Then they don't belong to humanity, they are out.
Do not let anyone tell you that you are looking in from the outside.
Aspies usually are the ones on the inside looking out and they can very effectively screen out whoever does not belong. So if anyone claims that not being social is the cause then they are just stalling and looking for excuses. Lack of sociability is not the cause, lack of humanity is the cause.

I find that looking at most people, how they act, surely leaves me in the believe that I would never ever allow them into my inner sanctuary.

 

[SammiArielle]

Oh i understand that feeling. The funny thing about this post is on the kids show arthur, a kid on it has aspergers, and the new friend of the kid had to be told, and the way someone explained it to him, he was like an outsider on an alien planet, the newcomer to a difrent spieces or something,hard to explain what it was but i bet its on youtube!

 

[Sparticus]

Yes very VERY much so! I feel more at home talking to Mockingbirds & animals than humans. Cats understand me more than humans. Well...most cats; there's always those sobs [Kats] who are antisocial, paranoid or don't like me :-( I spend so much time alone. I feel weird...out of touch, not connected to the Human web.

Other times I know THEY are the aliens...cold hearted killers...materialistic...doing menial things, living a life but not accomplishing anything in life...living their lives without being in contact with their souls...they find out on their death beds what life is about [love, loving people, helping others etc.]

Rant over...it's been a long tough day.

 

[Rachel]

I know the feeling of not belonging anywhere, and since I just recently got my DX, I never understood when I was a kid why I never found a place where I fit. There was a long period of my life that I wished I had some sort of strong cultural background (ie American Indian) because then I believed I would have at least been able to feel I "belonged" to a group of people. But I'm just a Euro-mutt. I don't try to explain to anyone how different I feel from everyone else. The only real friends I have had are people whom I'm guessing now were on the spectrum, too, because we totally got each other, didn't need to make small talk, didn't need to talk about shoes or purses or makeup (who the F CARES!?!?!) and I am horrible about sending cards or calling on birthdays. I just.don't.care. and I don't care if people don't send me cards or call me, either, but this has gotten me into trouble with my family because I am "insensitive" to others. Do I feel like an alien? No. I feel like almost everyone else in the world are a bunch of shallow, stupid people caught up in trivial crap.

 

[Tarragon]

I know the feeling of not belonging anywhere, and since I just recently got my DX, I never understood when I was a kid why I never found a place where I fit. There was a long period of my life that I wished I had some sort of strong cultural background (ie American Indian) because then I believed I would have at least been able to feel I "belonged" to a group of people. But I'm just a Euro-mutt. I don't try to explain to anyone how different I feel from everyone else. The only real friends I have had are people whom I'm guessing now were on the spectrum, too, because we totally got each other, didn't need to make small talk, didn't need to talk about shoes or purses or makeup (who the F CARES!?!?!) and I am horrible about sending cards or calling on birthdays. I just.don't.care. and I don't care if people don't send me cards or call me, either, but this has gotten me into trouble with my family because I am "insensitive" to others. Do I feel like an alien? No. I feel like almost everyone else in the world are a bunch of shallow, stupid people caught up in trivial crap.

I love the sentiment there I too am rubbish at sending cards and stuff. My friends (I have 2!) know about this and don't mind at all. Saves a fortune on stamps!!

 

[Unspired]

I suppose I may be egocentric, but as a kid I was not shy to let my siblings know that I knew they were aliens and I was the only real human.

 

[Tarragon]

I am yet another one who decided as a kid that I must be an alien! Ah well, goes with the territory

As for changing it, I'm not sure if it isn't a better way to decide to embrace this and stop thinking of yourself as a "second class citizen". I mean, what if it isn't us who are aliens, and it's them - and we've been invaded by a mass of babbly ape-like creatures who never stop and think about things too deeply?!

I'm readjusting my outlook drastically since getting officially diagnosed last week (for me, this has made all the difference). I personally am very happy to be who I am, and feel I've spent far too long trying to be "normal". If I am an alien, then so be it! E.T. was my favourite movie as a kid (for obvious reasons of identification with the main character!!).

We are all valid people, and we are aware of our own strengths and weaknesses (and tolerance) more because of the way we are probably far more than someone who hasn't had to deal with these things themselves.

Here's to us being lovely interesting and wonderful aliens!! Beep Beep!!

 

[epath13]

Well the other day my husband and I decided that we were both aliens (he's not on the spectrum btw, just an ADHDer) now we're just waiting for the spaceship to come and take us back home

 

[arthousesalem]

I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.

Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.

Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Yes, yes and yes. I was convinced as a child that I was dropped here on earth by accident. That I didn't get humans (as I use to call them, now I refer to them as NT's), still don't! I remember asking my mother if I was adopted because I didn't have that thing that kids have with parents, the bonding thing. I know they loved me I just was never able to feel it. I love my parents but I have never been able to show them that either. They have these expectations which are in my eyes too demanding. I know I've been seem as ungrateful and selfish but I disagree with that assumption.
So yes I have felt like an alien stuck on a very confusing planet not being able to understand NT's at all.

 

[Stacey]

I entirely understand this feeling. Growing up, I was often referred to as 'space bunny', which used to irritate me beyond measure. I can remember walking into a room and feeling like I was totally on the outside looking into a picture, that I just didn't fit into. As a child I'd repeatedly watch Alice and wonderland, because I could completely relate to her.

 

[Sass]

I've always felt as though I'm on the outside looking in. It's been useful sometimes, in that I've been able to study other people's behaviour so that I can know what to do in social situations that are foreign to me. It's been a hindrance a lot of the time though, and I've felt myself almost over-behaving a certain way in order to 'fit'. Not so much since I was a teenager/in my early 20s, but then particularly and starkly. I can learn all the acceptable behaviour I like, but ultimately I seem to magnify it and use it inappropriately, or at least I did when I was younger. Ugh, damned if you do and damned if you don't...

 

[Stacey]

[QUOTE="Sass, post: 115433, member: 3704" but ultimately I seem to magnify it and use it inappropriately, or at least I did when I was younger. Ugh, damned if you do and damned if you don't...[/QUOTE]

This was the reason my last friendship broke down. She thought I was 'fake'. I was seriously offended, because I tried so hard with her. Perhaps too hard in hindsight. I immediately cut her off, I was so hurt. We'd been good friends for 6 years. I never went more than 3 weeks without talking to her.
That was major for me. I'd manage to stay entire weekends in her company. It exhausted me, but I genuinely liked her. That was 3 years ago. She did try and initiate contact a year after I cut her off, but I ignored her. I couldn't help it. To me she represented humiliation and mockery. I just wanted to completely forget about her and rinse her from my life, like a bad stain.

I understand how you feel.

 

[Sass]

[QUOTE="Sass, post: 115433, member: 3704" but ultimately I seem to magnify it and use it inappropriately, or at least I did when I was younger. Ugh, damned if you do and damned if you don't...

This was the reason my last friendship broke down. She thought I was 'fake'. I was seriously offended, because I tried so hard with her. Perhaps too hard in hindsight. I immediately cut her off, I was so hurt. We'd been good friends for 6 years. I never went more than 3 weeks without talking to her.
That was major for me. I'd manage to stay entire weekends in her company. It exhausted me, but I genuinely liked her. That was 3 years ago. She did try and initiate contact a year after I cut her off, but I ignored her. I couldn't help it. To me she represented humiliation and mockery. I just wanted to completely forget about her and rinse her from my life, like a bad stain.

I understand how you feel.[/QUOTE]

I can relate absolutely. Although as I've gotten older I've found my friends (the few of them that I have) are very accepting of me. I guess because I know some of them through an ASD parents group (my son is on the spectrum), but there's also a group I've been friends with for about 7 years that I just met by chance, and they just love me anyway. When I told them about my diagnosis they basically said "Yay, you know now, we're happy for you!", and nothing changed. It's not often you meet people like that and I wish I still lived in the same country as them Perhaps I've been a nomad too long! It actually reminds me of what my husband's parents said to him when I wasn't around after I told them about my diagnosis. Them: "Did you just get used to it?" Him: "No, it's just Sarah and I love her".

 

[Stacey]

[/QUOTE]

... after I told them about my diagnosis. Them: "Did you just get used to it?" Him: "No, it's just Sarah and I love her".[/QUOTE]

This statement is absolutely beautiful. If only everyone thought like this, seeing the very essence of a human being, and not just the criteria slapped on the back of a label. I'm worried about getting my assessment...avoiding it. Yet at the same time relieved that there are other people who share some of my behaviours. The ambivalence is a little overwhelming. A clinical 'name' for (what is percieved to be) my odd behaviour, offers a valid explanation.
Yet I can't help feeling frightened of this label, which once stuck to me, I'll never be able to shake off.

I found this forum yesterday and it really does feel like a life line. I was drowning in my oddness, believing I was all alone.

Thank you for replying to my post. It means a lot to me.
I live a life where I'm used to being forgotten about, rejected or ignored. So I ignore the world to cope.
A genuine hello means the world to me!

 

[Sass]

... after I told them about my diagnosis. Them: "Did you just get used to it?" Him: "No, it's just Sarah and I love her".[/QUOTE]

This statement is absolutely beautiful. If only everyone thought like this, seeing the very essence of a human being, and not just the criteria slapped on the back of a label. I'm worried about getting my assessment...avoiding it. Yet at the same time relieved that there are other people who share some of my behaviours. The ambivalence is a little overwhelming. A clinical 'name' for (what is percieved to be) my odd behaviour, offers a valid explanation.
Yet I can't help feeling frightened of this label, which once stuck to me, I'll never be able to shake off.

I found this forum yesterday and it really does feel like a life line. I was drowning in my oddness, believing I was all alone.

Thank you for replying to my post. It means a lot to me.
I live a life where I'm used to being forgotten about, rejected or ignored. So I ignore the world to cope.
A genuine hello means the world to me![/QUOTE]

It doesn't have to be a label, it can just be a springboard, a place to start. And you're welcome I'm new to this, having only been officially diagnosed a couple of months ago. I've actually found my NT friends are the ones who've been more dubious about the label than anyone else, but only in terms of wondering why I needed it. It's been hard to explain to them why I needed to know, but I just did Hell, I'm getting old, it could've just be mistaken for crazy old cat lady if I'd left it much longer!

 

[Stacey]

...it could've just be mistaken for crazy old cat lady if I'd left it much longer![/QUOTE]

Lol. This really made me laugh. I've often wondered if I was the crazy old cat lady...minus the cats!

 

[cjwebber68]

I can relate

 

[Levinus]

I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.

Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.

Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

I've always felt like I was a different species! Insofar that I studied in depth aspects of speciation and genetics. Part of me knows, genetically, I'm like they are. The other part of me knows that I'm not in their group at all.

I think of the example of the sparrow in the galapagos islands. In a neighboring island, the same sparrow exists, but because their call is different...they are considered two distinct species (despite the ability to interbreed). I also think about how my behaviors, social constructs, environment are all different than theirs! I can justify feeling like a different species because, in a way, I am.

I could provide a thousand examples of this. But I would say it isn't uniquely an autism thing. I would guess that any variation that works as a catalyst to our experience would cause this. Different cultural background, injury or illness...blah blah blah.

You pointing out the chitter-chatter and menial tasks matches exactly what I think. I've had my wife and her sisters try to explain at length what a bar is for. I understand they serve beverages, but the idea of designating a specific area for social interaction, and having all of these magically understood unwritten rules for it.....boggles my mind. The two times I've ever been in a bar, I was absolutely exhausted by the experience. For the record, I achieved nothing. I didn't make any friends or get drunk.

For me, I feel like I'm 7 of 9 from Star Trek. Youtube that, if you are unfamiliar. I feel like an observer, taking notes and trying to understand humanity one interaction at a time.