Do you have delayed emotional responses that 'appear' suddenly once 'switched on'?

[techteach]

This is so interesting. Do you feel like emotions are really mixed up sometimes? Like something happens that should be a very, very happy thing and instead you feel overwhelming sad? Are you guys saying that when you should feel happy all the pent-up emotions come pouring out? (for example) Or are happiness and sadness closely related for some reason? When something that is a good thing happens sometimes it can leave me very distressed.

I remember two very dear friends coming to me and telling me they were getting married and I said "I'm sorry". And I meant it. It wasn't that they were not good for each other; they were. They are still happily married with three children 15 years later. It was just overwhelmingly sad.

One of the reasons I can't watch movies/tv is because even the slightest emotional stress experienced by the characters can cause me feelings of intense uneasiness. And it is a lot worse as I get older.

@Nervous Rex Very interesting. Thank you.

 

[Monachopia]

One of the reasons I can't watch movies/tv is because even the slightest emotional stress experienced by the characters can cause me feelings of intense uneasiness. And it is a lot worse as I get older.

I believe quite a few people on this thread experience intense emotions when viewing something... it's as if we experience the emotions through the character, maybe because it's removed somehow from ourselves and there is no one around to judge our reaction...? I'm not really sure. I know I feel overwhelming sadness for characters in fiction far more than I would for people in real life. Maybe because we're forced to view their situation only from the angles shown and there is no further known dimension?

Maybe someone else can elaborate?

As for the happiness factor... I'm not sure. I don't feel happiness, it's always tainted by deep sadness in one way or another. Why did you feel sad when your friends were getting married? Do you know?

 

[techteach]

@Fino Nice duck!

I don't want to check my feelings; they hurt. I play my guitar or drums or read or play video games to ignore them. I have to or I will be a mess all the time. How would I check them, I don't understand? Everything I feel when I am alone is not good. I am happy not having them

 

[techteach]

@Monachopia
No. I don't know. (about my friends getting married) There's no thought behind it, it just happens. It made me feel like a freak at the time (just self diagnosed in the last year or two) so I had no idea why I was so weird. Now I am realizing that I am not weird, just different. But I still feel like a freak. Sry

Not all the time. My son and his wife came over last weekend to let me know they are expecting their first and I was very, very happy! Yay! Still excited!

 

[onlything]

Like some others, I dissociate a lot and what you described fits me quite well. Most of the time, I feel little and react even less. If I'm happy, I'm content. If I'm sad, I'm bored, uncomfortable or annoyed. Then, suddenly, I'll feel too much and can end up reacting in unpredictable ways, from bursting in tears to jumping around like an overactive puppy. It doesn't happen often but it's still jumping between extremes. I'm trying to control it as much as possible - thinking about emotions I have at the moment and just letting myself feel seems to help - since it seems to be very tiring for others.

 

[onlything]

@Fino Nice duck!

I don't want to check my feelings; they hurt. I play my guitar or drums or read or play video games to ignore them. I have to or I will be a mess all the time. How would I check them, I don't understand? Everything I feel when I am alone is not good. I am happy not having them

I definitely understand it but it's also the reason why they blow up in your face after some time. You can't really ignore them forever, humans aren't constructed in this way. If you don't go through them, they just start to fester.

 

[Aspychata]

@onlything That's a good point, at some point, disassociate became the way to deal with things. Now l force myself to look at my desktop, see the emotion icon, and acknowledge it, in fact, l click on it, to see why it popped up, and look closer at that file that l was trying label "disassociate " . Now l find l can handle my emotions much better now.

 

[H-Kath]

That sounds like dissociation to be honest. It's normal in people with trauma, and there is evidence that Autistic people are biochemically more susceptible to it.

 

[bbc-bananasplit]

I have the experience, that my emotions are usually rather flat, but that they react to things, real objects, materials, light and certain situations, yet not much in the social context

 

[techteach]

thinking about emotions I have at the moment and just letting myself feel seems to help

I definitely understand it but it's also the reason why they blow up in your face after some time. You can't really ignore them forever, humans aren't constructed in this way. If you don't go through them, they just start to fester.

Thank you. I'm not sure about them. I think that mostly emotions cause me to think about the past and that is really not good. My children have all moved away, We have such a wonderful times together but I miss them so much. Most of my emotions are very painful and if I go in that direction I am overwhelmed. Even remembering playing with them, because its over. Now we talk and visit and I enjoy that so much. For me it seems as if I need to really live right now, don't think about the past. I'm not sure I ignore emotions, I don't know I'm having them? until I'm tired or I don't know, one little thought will just be filled with so much pain... does that make sense?

I can't think about how I feel, it's not good. I don't have any answers, but I love my children and grand-children. And it hurts. ???

 

[onlything]

@onlything That's a good point, at some point, disassociate became the way to deal with things. Now l force myself to look at my desktop, see the emotion icon, and acknowledge it, in fact, l click on it, to see why it popped up, and look closer at that file that l was trying label "disassociate " . Now l find l can handle my emotions much better now.

What do you mean by an emotion icon on your desktop? Some kind of an app?

 

[Aspychata]

Figuratively speaking, l am a geek, so l talk geek, sorry. If we had little desktop icons on us, we could just click on them, we would experience the emotion, then we could drag it to the trash, lol.

 

[Aspychata]

@onlything

Sorry if l confused you. But it would be great to have apps on us, good idea of yours, the future is yours, the patent office is waiting.

 

[Aspychata]

@onlything

Sorry if l confused you. But it would be great to have apps on us, good idea of yours, the future is yours, the patent office is waiting.

 

[UberScout]

As autism patients, our condition worsens as we get older. We are aging faster than anyone else.

We do not have much time....

Do all you can, learn what you must, eat and drink till you are condemned for gluttony, and do not burn bridges of gold, my friends. If ye have one foot in the grave, the other is surely digging the staircase to it.

 

[UberScout]

There's only one way to put it: Yes.

I'm with this guy. It's there, it exists and for GOD'S SAKE STOP LOOKING AT MY CALVES!

 

[Lycoris]

i will get this vague sense that something isnt quite right which i am learning to stop and pay attention to. if i dont process this vague feeling, it ramps up into physical symptoms like nausea, pain or even hunger. if i dont address my feelings at this point....i am likely to "suddenly" panic over the tiniest thing and still not know why.

This describes me pretty well, as I'm very bad at identifying emotions, as in being confused all the time about what emotions are happening. Sometimes my brain just wonders off, and starts giving me severe dizziness and headaches with no apparent reasons.

 

[techteach]

This may be unrelated, but, when I experience positive emotions, they can become far, too intense, at times. Particularly, as the result of others expressions of kindness, compassion, generosity, love, and, this happens, particularly, when I witness these sentiments/gestures being directed towards others. It can touch my heart to an extreme, as if, only a fine line exists between profound goodness and pain.

OK. Trying to sort things, re-reading the posts and I think this is why it is hard for me to examine how I am feeling at any moment. "Positive emotions... far too intense..."

Sorry OP if I'm way off topic.

 

[Tom]

Not sure what to make of it. Its either sell your neurons high or defect to the blue side around age 13.

 

[Fino]

Yes, sometimes the intensity can make it hard for me to decipher what I am actually feeling, and it can occur to me, as much as hours or days after the fact. It is as if my mind shuts down, or is too consumed by emotion, to process them. Have you looked at the Alexithymia website/forum? It could, perhaps, help you make some sense of your personal experiences with emotion processing. I don't have a diagnosis of Alexithymia, however, I do have some traits, and, simply reading through some of the topic threads on the forum, helped me understand, not only my own traits, but also, a friend of mine, with completely different traits. I haven't joined that forum, but was able to easily access information, threads and the Alexithymia questionnaire. The questions on the questionnaire were enlightening, in and of themselves. Here is a link to the website, in case you might find it of interest.

Forum: English Alexithymia Forum

The following is a link to the Alexithymia Questionnaire.

Alexithymie Questionnaire • Alexithymia

You posted these before and I found them extremely useful! I don't remember if I ever mentioned that fact.