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Do you think it's harder as an aspie male?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Chris
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Chris

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Do you think it's harder to socialise etc as an aspie male? Typically, girls get all/more the attention in social situations due to them being... girls. Especially if they're attractive, people will subconsciously instantly perceive them as being friendly or 'target' them. Which is fairly shallow, but at least they're given a shot at making some easy friends. For guys I think it's a different story, it really does boil down to how well you can adjust to the situations you're thrown into.
 
I think you've already hit the nail on the head. If the aspie girl is attractive, she'll get plenty of offers, so if she ends up an old cat lady, thats probably her own doing. A lot of guys are shallow, so as long as the girl looks good, they aren't too worried about her personality, untill later maybe. With guys, it depends if they can be themselves around women, or have lots of money etc, but in that case, they'd probably just get some latcher. I don't think the guys should just sit around crying in their room, even if they're ugly, girls don't seem to mind that too much. They have to put their self out there, and meet new people, travel maybe. They are bound to meet females who can be on their level.
 
Since I am male, then I would obviously say that yes it is harder being an aspie male. :thumbsup:

But honestly, I would probably say that it is just as hard being either sex when it comes down to it. Each sex has their own problems and difficulties to overcome that the other gender would never fully understand. :)

Like it's been said, girls would probably have an easier time meeting people, but there are bound to be things that a guy would find easier to do than a girl, so it probably balances out. :D
 
It's kind of hard to say really. While attractive Aspie girls may have a higher opportunity to make male friends, bully girls really don't seem to have an honor system with how far they will go with their bullying. Enough times I've actually seen male bullies say "that's enough" to 'lower end' bullies. I've had this happen to myself actually after throwing some dude over a desk, into a wall, etc (in retaliation).
 
Hmzzz,

I don't know, i don't have a real problem talking face to face with people, ever since i was 10 i was always talking with adults and not with people from my age. But the phone, man do i hate those things!
 
In terms of the basic responsibilites asociated with males I'd say yes.

BUT...

There's more aspie males around to relate to than females have fellow females, so it evens out I guess.
 
"Typically, girls get all/more the attention in social situations due to them being... girls. Especially if they're attractive, people will subconsciously instantly perceive them as being friendly or 'target' them. Which is fairly shallow, but at least they're given a shot at making some easy friends."

.... by men, not by other women. NT women value other women on their ability to talk for hours about mindless gossip and haircare trivia. If you are pretty it works against you because they see you as competition and will try to compete with you and bring you down, especially if they notice you are a little different they see you as an easy target to take out. Men are much more task and logic oriented, not so focused on mindless drivel. I have never been able to make friends with NT females, only males-- because NT males are almost exactly the same way I am.

And the attention I get from NT men for being somewhat attractive is terrible because they try to take sexual advantage of me and it took three terrible mishaps before I started being able to tell when someone was just out to exploit me. I didn't see things that were apparently the most obvious things in the world and ended up permanently damaged as a result.
 
Oh, yes HARD, unlike doing an Irish film. :angry:

But I never really battled it to the point of being ice-locked in depression. There have been other greater depressions.

Ruby, could you tell me more about girls, NT and non-NT? Or, you already have. :D

I'm just not a popular-book reader... so help. :| :lol:
 
NT girls are the bane of my existence. I live with fifteen 18 year old sorority girls. They are materialistic to the extreme, spoiled, judgmental, shallow, and all around bitchy. The typical male does not have nearly the stomach for drama that girls do and that makes them ten times easier to befriend. If you have absolutely anything of value to offer, sense of humor, interesting knowledge, participation in interesting activity, there is a group of guys not too far off that are not even going to notice that you're "weird." You may not find them right away, but they're there. Weird is all the girls can see.

There's a magazine article, I think in Newsweek-- I am trying to find it, called, "Are All Men Autistic?" because the stereotypical NT male behavior is very similar to us, even if it's to a lesser degree. In terms of the way they think, socially and emotionally, they really are a lot like us.
 
:) Uh, oh... that... that could be pretty abusive to any male with AS (I've been hurt along this alley, by strange, shallow rudeness and arrogance).

In them... a lack of a sense of profoundity and objectivity. The absence of depth and surjectivity (profound creativity). Which is why, as some say, they are responsible for most perjury? I cannot be indulgent enough to their weaknesses---to spoil them enough, ever again. It's all insipid to me.

At most, they can do/fulfill whatever they please... but those are usually shallow, inauthentic, 'incoherent' things.

Funny, I remember being bullied in elementary school mostly not by boys, but by girls (also by female relatives). (No, I'm not afraid of women at all! -_-)

Meanwhile, typical males are as you've described, linear and direct. 'Naturalistic, objective stupidity' is the furthest dense thing they can give you, without frothy drama.

But a mentally unaesthetic male with typical direct drives could be boring as well. More predictably abusive (though it might not be that bad compared to the indirect, sentimental, purely subjective abuse and dominance of the typical NT girl over things), that only (even more) shallowness (usually of the opposite sex) would succumb to him.

A male with intellectual dominance, plasticity of thought, fundamental Bohemian unpredictability, and unique presence/taste ('antiquity') is rare. But really, usually such males prefer to live a solitary life (sooner or later).



Ruby said:
NT girls are the bane of my existence. I live with fifteen 18 year old sorority girls. They are materialistic to the extreme, spoiled, judgmental, shallow, and all around bitchy. The typical male does not have nearly the stomach for drama that girls do and that makes them ten times easier to befriend. If you have absolutely anything of value to offer, sense of humor, interesting knowledge, participation in interesting activity, there is a group of guys not too far off that are not even going to notice that you're "weird." You may not find them right away, but they're there. Weird is all the girls can see.

There's a magazine article, I think in Newsweek-- I am trying to find it, called, "Are All Men Autistic?" because the stereotypical NT male behavior is very similar to us, even if it's to a lesser degree. In terms of the way they think, socially and emotionally, they really are a lot like us.
Click to expand...
 
I guess... I understand why they're called 'chicks'. :unsure: In Swedish, we don't have that term, not exactly. :blink:
 
Evar said:
I guess... I understand why they're called 'chicks'. :unsure: In Swedish, we don't have that term, not exactly. :blink:
Click to expand...

That's cool we call girls chickie's here in Holland :P

Anyway, as an Asperger it's not very hard, i mean the male Asperger is very manly, so computers and cars and astrology do fit them, even being in a company having a job in the IT is very normal for a male i mean to say that you almost never see a girl on the IT department....
rofl.gif
or being on a IT school....
shifty.gif
 
I find it hard being a boy cause the males are meant to aproach the women and it upsets me that I cant just go up to a women and say hi. Instead I end up trying to find her on a social networking site the next day. Im so lame. It upsets me quite a bit that I cant do simple things such as going up to women and even saying Hello.
 
xROBERTx said:
I find it hard being a boy cause the males are meant to aproach the women and it upsets me that I cant just go up to a women and say hi. Instead I end up trying to find her on a social networking site the next day. Im so lame. It upsets me quite a bit that I cant do simple things such as going up to women and even saying Hello.
Click to expand...
I also certainly feel your pain too, that's also like me... :(
Sometimes you have to be yourself because women would seem to like that better.

The best way to say hello is if your in a social circle with girls or if your in the same class or workplace etc.
Hopefully that should help you a little? :)
 
superboyian said:
I also certainly feel your pain too, that's also like me... :(
Sometimes you have to be yourself because women would seem to like that better.

The best way to say hello is if your in a social circle with girls or if your in the same class or workplace etc.
Hopefully that should help you a little? :)
Click to expand...


Yeh,... I dont have a social circle.

And no one in my class at college wants to know me and they are all 2 faced. So even in class I am made to feel outcast and lonely.

Im just doomed
 
xROBERTx said:
Yeh,... I dont have a social circle.

And no one in my class at college wants to know me and they are all 2 faced. So even in class I am made to feel outcast and lonely.

Im just doomed
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about that xROBERTx, do you tend to use online social networking like, facebook, twitter, etc?#

I actually did that once to add people from my college who are interested in me, maybe that could work, but then again, there are certainly risks since you wouldn't exactly know what type of person she could be.
 
My girlfriends I had I met on tagged and bebo. I use a few dating sites and such but no one ever replies to me on dating sites and most people who I meet on social networking stop talkin to me a few days after starting to talk to me for no reason.

Ive tried talking to all my college class in person and on internet and it was on their internet pages that i saw them being 2 faced and such. and the ones who say they are my mates wont even hang out with me at break or lunch or anything so basicly not friends and stuff. then they go be pricks to me for a while and just I hope next year there is some girl who likes me. In my current class there is a aspie girl , i know this cus she seemed nice and spoke to her the first day so talked to her for 3 days and texted her then she randomly wudnt speak to me , in class, text or anything. even if i said hi she ignored me.

People just dont like me :(.
 
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