Do you think it's harder as an aspie male?

[Calvert]

Do you like the Aspie girl in your class? That could be your chance...

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

Do you like the Aspie girl in your class? That could be your chance...

I did but she just such a 2 faced ****ing *****. As I said in last post she ignores me and just is a ***** about me behind my back and stuff.

My whole class is just against me.

Id have more chance with a wall than her.

 

[Calvert]

If she is Aspie, then that would be a good reason why she would avoid social contact with you and not talk to you. Doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you.

BTW are you sure she is an Aspie?

 

[PanPaniscus]

pssshh you guys have it easy. It doesn't matter if boys are obsessed with nerdy things like internet memes(the stuff im into) but when it's a girl it's an entirely different story.

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

pssshh you guys have it easy. It doesn't matter if boys are obsessed with nerdy things like internet memes(the stuff im into) but when it's a girl it's an entirely different story.

When I mentioned I had aspergers she said she also has it. She talks to liek another 3 people int he class and she avoids talking to me at all like she was fine talking to me for 3 days then never talked to me since and its been like 10 months later. Ive heard her slag me off and stuff behind my back.

And at least girls get guys going up to them. Girls never go up and talk to guys.

 

[Emor]

Agreed with Monkey on that.
I generally don't care anymore though if people perceive as more male though tbh.
I think most people think I'm a lesbian 'cause I have male interests, which I'd be bothered about if I liked any of the guys there or girls but I don't so meh.
EMZ=]

 

[Calvert]

pssshh you guys have it easy.

I hope that was sarcasm.  :lol: You girls can simply put your feet up and wait for the guys to approach you. For us guys, fear of rejection is normal. Having fear of rejection on top of being an Aspie makes it 200 times worse.


It would be awesome if, as a guy, I could have a line of girls wanting to go out with me and just being able to say "No, no, nah, oh! You! I'll have you!"

Yeah, I know it doesn't entirely work like that.

As for girls liking "nerdy" things, some guys like that. For example, i'm a gamer and when a hot girl games (yes they do exist) words can't describe it.   

 

[Emor]

TBH I think more girls are asking guys out now. I've had friends made me ask other guys out for them quite a lot(I'm confident enough to do that around most guys in my year because I hate most guys in my year[maybe that's why everyone thinks I'm lesbian... hmm... LOL]). But I get your point.
I do think guys are in an easier position because if they like someone it's not socially unacceptable to just go up to them and ask but if you're a girl you get messed around for months if not years.
There's pros and cons for both xD.
It definitely doesn't work like that Calvert though (Y). LOL.
EMZ=]

 

[142857]

I can't say that it is harder for an Aspie male because I've never tried being an Aspie female.

What I can say is that women are a lot more choosy about their mates, less likely to choose someone who is obviously defective or faulty. Many, but certainly not all, women are "programmed" to look for an alpha-male type. Or at least for someone who looks to be good genetic material. Let's be honest, guys will shag just about anything and a girl who seems to lack self-confidence and has odd interests and eccentric behaviours isn't going to put too many guys off.

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

Where I live it only works exactly like calvert says!

 

[Emor]

I actually can't stand alpha male like guys... when someone describes an alpha male I just think jerk.
Also, a lot of AS girls I know have been used for sex so it's not cool :/.
Girls generally look for relationships, not sex, so it can actually suck. I don't know about AS girls though. The only proper friend I have who's AS and female said she's not bothered that much about being used for sex.
A lot of people in my year with special needs and are female have actually been used for sex it's weird.
Weird thing is they don't care nor regret.
Yeah. What are we talking about again? LOL.
EMZ=]

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

most guys just have sex with anything that moves. Most guys are ****ing pricks and just sleep about and treat girls liek **** and say they goign to call her and then dont. and just grr guys and sluts are worthless.

 

[Emor]

I don't have a problem with guys who sleep with girls and both mutually are using each other for sex.
But when only one party is using the other for sex I think that's immoral 'cause some people take sex very emotionally and stuff...
EMZ=]

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

"And at least girls get guys going up to them. Girls never go up and talk to guys. "

I have approached every boyfriend I have had. Nobody has ever approached me, except for two guys that recognized that I wasn't "all there" so to speak and took advantage of that to rape me. That was loads of fun. They said they were taking me out on a date and I didn't know what was going on. In hindsight I should have known they weren't good people but they told me they were and I believed them. The only boys that actually liked me I had to go and ask myself, and they hadn't known I existed before that because nobody notices the quiet girls that don't wear make up or high heels.

"You girls can simply put your feet up and wait for the guys to approach you. For us guys, fear of rejection is normal. Having fear of rejection on top of being an Aspie makes it 200 times worse."

Except we're weird, so guys don't approach us. And then if we are to stand a chance in hell we have to approach them, which is hard as an aspie, and we have the added stigma that girls aren't "supposed" to ask.


I don't legitimately want to make the argument that it is harder to be one than the other, but let's be realistic here. It's not like it's a good thing for the pathologically gullible to have guys coming up to them. For the first 20 years of my life I did not know how to protect myself, and men would see that I was strange and know they could use me, and they took my bodily integrity from me and any sense of security I had. I'd much rather work up the courage to go talk to someone I like than deal with that, and I did just that and that is how I got my boyfriend.

 

[Emor]

That sucks Ruby . IDK what much else to say. I hope you have recovered.
I do agree though, that AS girls at least have to approach a guy.
EMZ.

 

[Sipe]

For some aspie males it might be hard and for some males it`s not. We are individuals as well after all. And yes, pretty girls gets more attention than guys except if the guys is also very handsome. I myself am training myself to become more confident and braver with other people.

@ xRoBERTx: Miracles will happen if you truly hope and want. Here is my short advice: "Ask, Believe and Receive." The Universe will give you what ever you want if you just believe in it.

"What we think, we become." -Buddha

@ Ruby: I`m terribly sorry about what happened to you. My heart was hurting while reading your experiences with corrupted people like that. Hopefully you have recovered from it and I hope you will be happy with your boyfriend you have now.

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

Ive tried that kind of stuff. I have tried to believe but i gave up after a year after trying to believe and ask. Hense why I also started to believe im cursed. In the time where I was believeing I had been stood up over 20 times and been led on and they stop texting the day of the meeting up about 30 times.

 

[Sipe]

Ive tried that kind of stuff. I have tried to believe but i gave up after a year after trying to believe and ask. Hense why I also started to believe im cursed. In the time where I was believeing I had been stood up over 20 times and been led on and they stop texting the day of the meeting up about 30 times.

By giving up your life won`t change any better so don`t give up. The most common mistake is that people give up too soon. You are have to understand that things won`t change in one night, week and sometime even in month, but they will change eventually. And if you start to think that you are cursed, you will be cursed because you give that curse all your energy and your thoughts. And if those people starts ignoring you like that after just one meeting, they would`t have been good friends for you anyway.

 

[142857]

xRobertx, I think nearly every guy on this forum knows what you are talking about.

To be honest, I gave up for many years. It wasn't until I grew as a person and became better around people in general, better adjusted in a way, that I finally started to get a bit of interest from women. By that stage, of course, I had no idea what to do about it.

Getting upset about the way that you have been treated by girls is counter-productive. What are the things that you enjoy that may put you in touch with other people? Being sociable is not easy, but you do need to spend more time around other people and watch and learn about how regular people behave. That is what worked for me anyway, basically saying "f*ck it, I don't care if people think that I am weird, better than spending the rest of my life as a hermit".

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

The moment I stopped looking for a boyfriend was when I found the one. The world has a funny way of giving us what we need when we need it, and that time is not always when we think it is. If I'd met him before all the horrible things that happened to me, I wouldn't have been ready for him. We would never have gotten together had those other things not happened. It's very strange, but sometimes things just work out that way.