Does This Drive anyone else Mad!

[Autism]

Yes, that too! Sometimes I am talking about one of my special interests, and have been told to "calm down," or, "My, you sound angry!"

So weird, just today I was noticing how most people seem to be so uncaring, they don't care about many things at all, they just vegetate. I can get very passionate and loud about many things and totally enjoy myself while doing that. It is just a way of life for me. So no, you are not alone, far from it my friend.

 

[garnetflower13]

Same with me. I put my head down to think/block out distractions, sometimes just to feel the coolness of the desk or table on my forehead. I have to monitor my behavior or it will be mistaken for sadness or anger.

It gives me a feeling of being trapped, knowing that people are trying to read and interpret seemingly every little movement or facial expression, and will pretty much ALWAYS misinterpret them. It causes a bit of anxiety, having to be on alert all the time, wondering if what I feel like doing or accidentally just did is something that will be noticed and misread, then trying to figure how it might have been interpreted. I can't act naturally. It's one of the main reasons I don't care to be around people.

And the idea that people are automatically seeing my random body movements as some kind of communication — it's baffling and kind of angering. It still isn't natural to me to think of the body movements of someone across the room as communication. They have to be actively trying to engage me for me to see it as something involving me. As someone commented on another website, it's like everything has to be social with NTs, everything has to involve other people, so of course our every movement is a way to signal something to others. I want to scream at people, "what I'm doing with my body is not about you!"

That is EXACTLY how I feel! It is so tiring to have people monitoring your every move, your every facial expression or tic, and ascribing meaning to it.

 

[Autism]

Same with me. I put my head down to think/block out distractions, sometimes just to feel the coolness of the desk or table on my forehead. I have to monitor my behavior or it will be mistaken for sadness or anger.

It gives me a feeling of being trapped, knowing that people are trying to read and interpret seemingly every little movement or facial expression, and will pretty much ALWAYS misinterpret them. It causes a bit of anxiety, having to be on alert all the time, wondering if what I feel like doing or accidentally just did is something that will be noticed and misread, then trying to figure how it might have been interpreted. I can't act naturally. It's one of the main reasons I don't care to be around people.

And the idea that people are automatically seeing my random body movements as some kind of communication — it's baffling and kind of angering. It still isn't natural to me to think of the body movements of someone across the room as communication. They have to be actively trying to engage me for me to see it as something involving me. As someone commented on another website, it's like everything has to be social with NTs, everything has to involve other people, so of course our every movement is a way to signal something to others. I want to scream at people, "what I'm doing with my body is not about you!"

Thank you, Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you
You have said it out loud. That is it, I am screaming that by the way. These NT's really do think every thing is about them and they interpret my actions as actions that pertain to them. Sorry to burst your bubble there, because nothing is farther from the truth HON.

 

[garnetflower13]

This constant misunderstanding of innocent moves on the part of Aspies, reminds me of a scene in an old movie which I can't remember the name of. There was a surveillance situation going on, and a spy was instructed to touch his hat brim if he saw the suspect they were looking for. Of course the spy touched his hat unthinkingly, and a whole slew of law enforcement personnel descended on the scene, and all for naught. That is a humorous take on it, anyway!

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think it's an Aspie thing because I'll have this look on my face like I'm about to cry or hold my head in my hands and people would ask me, what's wrong. In reality I'm sort of lost in my own world and I like laying my head down or in my hands for the same reasons why I like sitting in certain areas on the floor. It's a natural thing for me ....

People have gotten on my case about sitting in the middle of a walkway and etc

GK Chesterton (author and journalist who died in the 1930s and who seems to have had Aspie-ish traits) came to a hospital to be with his wife who had just had surgery. Before going in to see her, he wanted to finish a poem he was writing for her and sat in the middle of some stairs to do so. He weighed between 300 and 400 lbs. He sat there for hours. During all those hours nurses and medical staff, finding their way blocked, tried to get him to move, but he sat there, working on a line of that poem, oblivious to their attempts to move him.

 

[LittleKill]

Ugh, I know what that feels like, specially when you get to hang-out with the people you despise the most, sometimes I just think stuff like:

• I should be getting paid for being around these fools.
• Why am I wasting my time with these waste of filthy human organisms.
• Why am I even here again?

 

[I am that which I am]

I also find that people often misinterpret or exaggerate those cues to reflect their own behaviour or how they feel. I do not know how many times I was told I was angry or in a bad mood, or something when I was not and they were. Then this makes me anxious and puts me in a bad mood. Then again an ex that used to do that a lot had a habit of avoiding all blame for any arguments we had saying it was always my fault for being so angry and miserable all the time. Then why did we argue before and/or after every time he had an exam or presentation or something else that stressed him; but rarely vice versa? No not because I was purposely trying to make him miserable and make him fail. *rolls eyes* He was stressed and does not know how to deal with it or himself.

I also have a habit of laying my head down when trying to concentrate, particularly when studying or writing a test for some reason. A few people have asked me if I was ok and I just look at them in a confused fashion and answer "I'm fine." while wondering why they asked. I tend to forget some aspie traits when I am busy or concentrating hard on something which results in much misinterpretation on other's part. It is like I always have to be careful because someone is watching and trying to interpret certain cues; if I am not careful with regards to what I show they get it wrong. I try not to take it too seriously anymore.

 

[Nanda]

Being misunderstood. Being told that you "sound angry" when you are far from it, even if you are feeling happy or content. Being accused of sounding other ways, such as sarcastic, smarmy, or hostile.

 

[Nanda]

Being misunderstood. Being told that you "sound angry" when you are far from it, even if you are feeling happy or content. Being accused of sounding other ways, such as sarcastic, smarmy, or hostile.

Happens a lot with me, but less then in the past. See, i am a very serious girl outside my house (and even on my house too) and i cant count the amount of times people like my sister, parents and colleagues asked me if i was angry/ sad (it get me so annoyed!!)
And some times, if i not watch my voice i can sound rude, so, some times i smile at the end of some phases (thats make think about who fake i am, so sad)
So yep! You're not alone in this. Welcome to the group.

 

[gouldgrl]

Being misunderstood. Being told that you "sound angry" when you are far from it, even if you are feeling happy or content. Being accused of sounding other ways, such as sarcastic, smarmy, or hostile. I get so tired of it, and it makes me feel like an alien in a strange land when it happens. and worse, it usually spoils a good mood because I end up getting upset because somebody thought I was in the first place. Does this happen to anyone else, and does it bother you as much as it does me?

I very much identify with what you're describing. At times, it has had a very negative impact on my circumstances, too. In other words, it's not just a "simple misunderstanding" and life goes on.

 

[Sunnylims]

UMMM YES!! It's not so much when I speak, but when I am simply walking around minding my own business, or am in deep thought, or am just relaxing my freaking face. People ALWAYS ask me what's wrong or why I'm mad and I'm just like "I'm perfectly content actually, until you just asked me that." When I was a server, I would always get in trouble for walking through the dining room looking pissed off, but really I was just trying to concentrate on my work and look for dirty dishes.

When I moved into my apartment a few months back, I was outside in the garage setting up my drum set. It was really hot that day, and when I am overheated, I get short-temepered. Anyway, I walked through the doors of my apartment building fully intending to go straight to my apartment to cool off, and I noticed a pedophile-Santa-looking guy stepping onto the elevator. I noticed him while his back was turned, but I just avoided eye contact and kept walking, minding my own business, as I do when I walk past any human being. I know they're there, it's just easier to look down or away.

I was a few steps past the elevator when I heard Pedo-Santa mutter "Pffft, what a snob." I stopped in my tracks for a moment, not knowing if he meant me, but then I quickly realized that he was, in fact, talking about me, and I began to fume with anger. Without hesitation, I marched up the stairs and met him as he was getting out of the elevator (yeah, he went up 1 floor on an elevator). I immediately said (whilst holding back tears, because even though I was mad, I was very hurt) "Umm excuse me, I heard you call me a snob and I just want to say that I did not appreciate it." After that, it's kind of a blur, but I remember making him feel like a dick weed by mentioning that I'm autistic and that I can't help how I look and act sometimes.

He went on to be his creepo self and said "Well, I'm sorry Miss, you just need to smile more, you're so pretty!" Like wtf, I'm supposed to walk around smiling like a fool for no reason whatsoever? That makes NO sense. After that I just turned my back and stormed off to call my mom haha. I was shaking with adrenaline, but I was really happy that I stood up for myself, because if I would have just walked away and said nothing, it would have been on my mind for weeks.

I also told our apartment manager about the incident, and she wrote him some sort of note, and though I see his hick-y, rusting truck (with the license plate reading UNSTABL) parked here every day, I haven't actually seen him since then.

 

[GoofKing]

UMMM YES!! It's not so much when I speak, but when I am simply walking around minding my own business, or am in deep thought, or am just relaxing my freaking face. People ALWAYS ask me what's wrong or why I'm mad and I'm just like "I'm perfectly content actually, until you just asked me that." When I was a server, I would always get in trouble for walking through the dining room looking pissed off, but really I was just trying to concentrate on my work and look for dirty dishes.

When I moved into my apartment a few months back, I was outside in the garage setting up my drum set. It was really hot that day, and when I am overheated, I get short-temepered. Anyway, I walked through the doors of my apartment building fully intending to go straight to my apartment to cool off, and I noticed a pedophile-Santa-looking guy stepping onto the elevator. I noticed him while his back was turned, but I just avoided eye contact and kept walking, minding my own business, as I do when I walk past any human being. I know they're there, it's just easier to look down or away.

I was a few steps past the elevator when I heard Pedo-Santa mutter "Pffft, what a snob." I stopped in my tracks for a moment, not knowing if he meant me, but then I quickly realized that he was talking about me, and I began to fume with anger. Without hesitation, I marched up the stairs and met him as he was getting out of the elevator (yeah, he went up 1 floor on an elevator). I immediately said (whilst holding back tears, because even though I was mad, I was very hurt) "Umm excuse me, I heard you call me a snob and I just want to say that I did not appreciate it." After that, it's kind of a blur, but I remember making him feel like a dick weed by mentioning that I'm autistic and that I can't help how I look and act sometimes.

He went on to be his creepo self and said "Well, I'm sorry Miss, you just need to smile more, you're so pretty!" Like wtf, I'm supposed to walk around smiling like a fool for no reason whatsoever? That makes NO sense. After that I just turned my back and stormed off to call my mom haha. I was shaking with adrenaline, but I was really happy that I stood up for myself, because if I would have just walked away and said nothing, it would have been on my mind for weeks.

I also told our apartment manager about the incident, and she wrote him some sort of note, and though I see his hick-y, rusting truck (with the license plate reading UNSTABL) parked here every day, I haven't actually seen him since then.

I'm either walking around with the wrong expression that doesn't match my mood or walking around with a sort of blank look on my face. I remember the weird euphoria I felt when I walk around a populated area and sort of lost in my own world lol This is why I used to always be walking or making an excuse to go somewhere Unfortunately this came with a blank look on my face, which people mistaken me as dim-witted :/

This makes me wonder about how your suppose to look if you were intelligent ? Isn't intelligence better judged by the things people do rather than their appearances or the stereotypes of how intelligent people suppose to look

 

[Autism]

I'm either walking around with the wrong expression that doesn't match my mood or walking around with a sort of blank look on my face. I remember the weird euphoria I felt when I walk around a populated area and sort of lost in my own world lol This is why I used to always be walking or making an excuse to go somewhere Unfortunately this came with a blank look on my face, which people mistaken me as dim-witted :/

This makes me wonder about how your suppose to look if you were intelligent ? Isn't intelligence better judged by the things people do rather than their appearances or the stereotypes of how intelligent people suppose to look

I do not care what others think. I am currently on working to block people out, completely. Because when I am walking anywhere it is not because I want to see people. I walk to go get groceries, to see nature, to get somewhere where I need to go. I do not walk to get to people.

When I see people who try to stare at me: as if asking: what are you doing? I will send with my blank look the unmistaken message: none of your business.
Who the hell do these people think they are anyways?

 

[KassieMac]

 

[Judge]

I do not care what others think. I am currently on working to block people out, completely. Because when I am walking anywhere it is not because I want to see people. I walk to go get groceries, to see nature, to get somewhere where I need to go. I do not walk to get to people.

When I see people who try to stare at me: as if asking: what are you doing? I will send with my blank look the unmistaken message: none of your business.
Who the hell do these people think they are anyways?

Yeah, reminds me of when I am grocery shopping. I'm really intensely focused on finding what I need and little else. The rest is just one big distraction from my primary goal.

 

[KassieMac]

Yeah, reminds me of when I am grocery shopping. I'm really intensely focused on finding what I need and little else. The rest is just one big distraction from my primary goal.

I LOVE self-checkout! I'll actually wait for self-checkout when there's a staffed checkout lane available. On a good trip I can keep my headphones in & not interact with anyone at all.

 

[I am that which I am]

Ha, yes I also tend to be very goal driven when grocery shopping or shopping in general. I need a number of items and that is it, I do not walk around looking for something (that I do not need) to buy. I also like self-check out, but I try not to isolate myself too much from human contact.

The other day I was just making super in the kitchen and one of my roommates/tenants (again not isolating myself) thought I looked odd or as though I had something to say. I was partly expecting him to start with the usual "Hi, how are you?" bit. But I guess since neither one of us started he thought it was strange and had to mention I looked off. So he asked if everything was ok in a very worried tone, as though he did something terrible. I reassured him everything was fine. Then mentioned I just looked funny at him. I just tried to laugh it of. I also do not like the "how are you" bit since people generally do not care. It is to the point where it is just another greeting.

 

[garnetflower13]

I was a few steps past the elevator when I heard Pedo-Santa mutter "Pffft, what a snob." I stopped in my tracks for a moment, not knowing if he meant me, but then I quickly realized that he was, in fact, talking about me, and I began to fume with anger. Without hesitation, I marched up the stairs and met him as he was getting out of the elevator (yeah, he went up 1 floor on an elevator). I immediately said (whilst holding back tears, because even though I was mad, I was very hurt) "Umm excuse me, I heard you call me a snob and I just want to say that I did not appreciate it." After that, it's kind of a blur, but I remember making him feel like a dick weed by mentioning that I'm autistic and that I can't help how I look and act sometimes.

This merits loud applause! Love it!

 

[Sunnylims]

This merits loud applause! Love it!

*gracefully takes a bow*

 

[KassieMac]

When I see people who try to stare at me: as if asking: what are you doing? I will send with my blank look the unmistaken message: none of your business.
Who the hell do these people think they are anyways?

Yes, that happens to me too; quite a lot. Strange people who just stare, for reason(s) I cannot even begin to understand, the workings of the alien minds that lie behind those dead eyes being stranger and more incomprehensible than quantum mechanics. Now when it happens I just stare them down, and I make sure I have a look on my face that 'says', in the language that only they understand, 'What's your problem mister?' I've sometimes thought, 'Do I resemble someone famous, or infamous, that I am not aware of, and that is why they are staring?'

In any case it's rude, and they just shouldn't do it.

I call that blank stare "like cows at a passing train" (don't blame me, it's a Don Henley lyric)

Maybe they're just uncontrollably drawn to our unmistakable perfection? Yeah, I think I'll go with that.