Don't Be Shy To Introduce Yourself

[Fridgemagnetman]

Thanks for the first reply
Yes, nice that there are some folks from the UK on here, I thought it might be mainly US-based at first.

Divvent fret you'll be alreet

 

[Streetwise]

welcome

Hi there,

A few things about me by way of an introduction... including what brought me here. Firstly, I live in the North of England and I've come to this forum after wondering for decades whether I might or might not have Asperger's (I'm now in my 40s). Recently I did an online test, repeatedly, and the scores came out as Asperger's - or just below the threshold if I answered slightly differently. Apart from various traits that would fit with ASD, I've also always felt I have more of a 'male' than 'female' brain in many ways, although not all - for example I'm not bothered about football or other sports much. I often feel more at ease with men and have some male friends.

The trigger to talk about it for me was my persistent struggle to form close and lasting friendships. This has been more or less of an issue all my life, and has recently come to a painful head through moving area and also starting a new job. I feel so unpopular at my workplace, where most of colleagues are 'people people' and tend to be friends outside work too with each other, but I've not really been able to form a closer friendship with anyone; so I get reminded of my own exclusion every day I'm in work and it's really psychologically stressful. I don't think people hate me or see me as a bad person but they'd just rather not hang out with me. I have some idea (after a lot of soul searching and reflection) of things I may do or say that put people off, but a lot of it is quite subtle and intangible and also probably the extent to which I can really change (or 'mask'?) is limited. I don't have absolutely glaringly awful social skills and am only mildly affected by sensory overload/hypersensitivity. I do have some long-term friends, but could count them on one hand and they usually have lots of other people in their lives that are at least as important to them, so I end up being the more 'needy' one, which I don't want to be. I also find that I'm quite different to most people and find quite a few people aren't really my cup of tea, although I am able to enjoy good company. Very occasionally I meet a person I feel more of a connection with, and sometimes it seems mutual but I'm not always sure to what extent - I've had some situations where such friendships have ended after a while without explanation. As often they have been men, there may have been other issues at play like attraction beyong friendship or a jealous girlfriend, but also it may have been something to do with me.

Thankfully I have a really supportive partner, but even though he is not an Aspie type (he has better people skills I'd say and people tend to warm to him), he is a loner and chooses to not have friends or stay in touch with his own family (bad upbringing and past experiences), so there's no sense of belonging or social circle for me to join there either. As I've moved to a new area, I've recently felt more isolated than in years - as some of my assumed friends made no effort to keep in touch.

Every now and then the all of the above combined brings me so close to wanting to end it all; I feel the only use I have is when I help people (I work in a helping profession) and so very few actually appreciate me as a person for who I am, without getting something out of me. Some other posts I've read on here mentioned some similar experiences. I'd love to hear from people going through similar struggles and also any advice how to deal with this challenge. Do I just have to accept a life of loneliness without a sense of belonging? I live far from family, I left partially because my parenting wasn't the most warm and supportive, so I feel I have attachment issues also, and I have no contact with my father now and working on my relationship with my mum but it is quite challenging for me.

Sorry this has become such a 'confessional'... not sure if that's appropriate, but that's why I'm here and I thought I might as well cut to the chase. I feel a little apprehensive about joining a forum as I feel it could take lots of time to keep up with, and I don't want to be just a 'taker' but also respond to other people's posts. I tend to be quite busy with work and just keeping my life on track but I will do my best. Well, I know I have to do something to get me out of my current hole, so hopefully it is some kind of start!

 

[Streetwise]

@Hidell

 

[Mavis]

Hello. New here. Nervous about posting as my experiences with Forums cause me a great deal of anxiety because people always seem to misunderstand or attach their own meanings to what I write.

 

[Progster]

Hello. New here. Nervous about posting as my experiences with Forums cause me a great deal of anxiety because people always seem to misunderstand or attach their own meanings to what I write.

Welcome! I know what you mean by the anxiety of being misinterpreted, but in my experience, we are a friendly bunch here, we share many common traits and experiences and I'm sure that you will fit in and do just fine

 

[Streetwise]

Hello. New here. Nervous about posting as my experiences with Forums cause me a great deal of anxiety because people always seem to misunderstand or attach their own meanings to what I write.

welcome! remember you're not forced to answer anybody and you don't have to post ever again if you don't want to !a lot of people become members and never post!
i've been a member for a year and a half and I'm still nervous it's anxiety and anxiety lies to you .

 

[Streetwise]

@TheAxinator

 

[VioletsAreBlue]

Hi. I'm so new to this site, so I apologize in advance if I post on the wrong thread. That being said, my name is Emma. I am not on the spectrum however I met a wonderful man who is high functioning, Aspergers (please forgive me, I do not know these terms and I am trying to understand everything better). That is why I'm here. I want to know and understand better as a person not on the spectrum. Thank you for reading.

 

[SocialSadist]

I’m nate. I hate having autism but I love being a savant. They say I’m “high functioning”, though it doesn’t feel as such and I abhor the label. I’m a 40, with countless ex’s and 3 kids (2 on the spectrum). I grew up in the Deep South of the US, where people swing from loving and friendly, to disgusted and fearful if you don’t look and act like they do.

I have a hard time socializing, though I need to.

Today I publicly admitted my disability for the first time because Disneyworkd crowds were too much. They smiled st me and told me it was. Not a problem.

This post is more for new members might be shy to introduce themselves.

No need to fear, you joined a great site. No rush to introduce yourself. Take the time you need. But once you are ready to introduce yourself, you will be greeted by many people.

Yours Truly,


Chilly Willy @The Penguin

 

[SevenOfNine]

Hi Folks

Just signed up as this seems to be the place where interesting topics are lively!

I’m awaiting diagnoses, mid forties and live in middle England.

I have a model of the entire universe in my head and have had since a child and only now realise that this could be an asd thing.

Thanks guys

 

[Streetwise]

Hi. I'm so new to this site, so I apologize in advance if I post on the wrong thread. That being said, my name is Emma. I am not on the spectrum however I met a wonderful man who is high functioning, Aspergers (please forgive me, I do not know these terms and I am trying to understand everything better). That is why I'm here. I want to know and understand better as a person not on the spectrum. Thank you for reading.

welcome

 

[Streetwise]

welcome

I’m nate. I hate having autism but I love being a savant. They say I’m “high functioning”, though it doesn’t feel as such and I abhor the label. I’m a 40, with countless ex’s and 3 kids (2 on the spectrum). I grew up in the Deep South of the US, where people swing from loving and friendly, to disgusted and fearful if you don’t look and act like they do.

I have a hard time socializing, though I need to.

Today I publicly admitted my disability for the first time because Disneyworkd crowds were too much. They smiled st me and told me it was. Not a problem.

 

[Streetwise]

welcome

Hi Folks

Just signed up as this seems to be the place where interesting topics are lively!

I’m awaiting diagnoses, mid forties and live in middle England.

I have a model of the entire universe in my head and have had since a child and only now realise that this could be an asd thing.

Thanks guys

 

[SevenOfNine]

Thanks for the warm welcome

 

[Streetwise]

@OtakuGeo

 

[OtakuGeo]

ありがと！
わたし わ、ジョージア です、おげんき です か
こにちは,はじめまして！？

I've finally remembered something and learnt something from Japanese class! after 4 years lol I probably messed the spacing up but...oh well, I tried!

 

[OtakuGeo]

@Streetwise

 

[dietcola]

Hi, I'm dietcola!

I have social anxiety diagnosis but have not been tested for autism. This is quite nervewracking, but I'd like to learn more as I really identify with a lot of traits found on the online checklists.

Hope you have a nice day!

 

[Quan Brown]

Hello people, my name is Quan

Im almost 25 years old and for my entire life I've been completely misunderstood. My parents never knew how hard it was for me growing up, the countless days of being bullied because I didn't want to talk to people or look them in the eye or generally being around them. I found hip hop to really help me at least get my foot in the door in terms of how I should carry myself. I thought it would help gain a certain respect but it wasn't enough so I joined the wrestling team in high school, I was getting bullied so much I decided I needed a way to at least defend myself. Then after I graduated and went to community college for a semester to study physical therapy I wanted to help people at the core of it all. Like the superheroes I read about who pushed through adversity. I joined the army I was expecting some big captain America transformation. I got what I needed from them it wasn't the best experience but I got a paid education from it. Now I find myself in college again doing something I had a passion for. I major in screenwriting now I can write for days and make quality work. My art comes from so much pain the people around me see me as some kind of machine. Its really better than what people used to call me you know stupid, arrogant, weird, possible serial killer. I'm just a kid on the spectrum trying to do the right thing in life and help people, but some days I feel like the world and even my family deserves to see the real me.

 

[Streetwise]

@BirdHeart