Don't massage at work,crimney sakes

[Aspychata]

I am just going to be outright ugly here and say Freakeconomics shows when there is less employment for men, more of them are looking for woman to shoulder expenses. I love that Freakeconomics book and wonder how many people have read it. I don't want to be with some random man just to escape financial responsibility in my lifetime.

 

[Varzar]

I am just going to be outright ugly here and say Freakeconomics shows when there is less emoloyment for men, more of them are looking for woman to shoulder expenses. I love that Freakeconomics book and wonder how many people have read it.

lol, seems even more off topic, but hey, it's your thread right?

I don't see why that's "ugly".
It fully describes my relationship... lol
My wife makes the money, and I'm essentially a "house-husband". Cooking, cleaning, gardening, building the house, maintenance, other chores.. Basically whatever I can do to save us money is my "job".

 

[Bolletje]

Heh, I’m currently the breadwinner in my relationship as well, while my boyfriend is trying to get his startup company going.

 

[Aspychata]

lol, seems even more off topic, but hey, it's your thread right?

I don't see why that's "ugly".
It fully describes my relationship... lol
My wife makes the money, and I'm essentially a "house-husband". Cooking, cleaning, gardening, building the house, maintenance, other chores.. Basically whatever I can do to save us money is my "job".

I have learned so much going off topic from this forum, and if you have read any of my prior posts, you will conclude that l like to brainstorm, so my posts are more informal chat rooms where l welcome diversity of thoughts and humor is always welcomed.

Maybe by saying ugly, l am saying more woman maybe randomly hit upon due to a poor employment market. So if you are a slightly attractive female, it may work against you then in a place with a healthy job market.

 

[Varzar]

I have learned so much going off topic from this forum, and if you have read any of my prior posts, you will conclude that l like to brainstorm, so my posts are more informal chat rooms where l welcome diversity of thoughts and humor is always welcomed.

Works for me!

Maybe by saying ugly, l am saying more woman maybe randomly hit upon due to a poor employment market. So if you are a slightly attractive female, it may work against you then in a place with a healthy job market.

Let's just see if I'm understanding what you're saying correctly:
What I'm interpreting you saying is that if there's a poor job market, then Freakonomics suggest more men will be unemployed, and those unemployed men will try to pick up employed women so the women can cover their expenses.. Is that a correct interpretation?

If that's what you're saying.. Um.. I can only really say that definitely wouldn't apply to me, personally.. And I don't think I've ever heard any man ever suggest that the employment status of a woman was something important in their criteria for deciding who to try and pick up. But that of course could just be the men I've had interactions with in my very small corner of the world....

 

[Aspychata]

Works for me!



Let's just see if I'm understanding what you're saying correctly:
What I'm interpreting you saying is that if there's a poor job market, then Freakonomics suggest more men will be unemployed, and those unemployed men will try to pick up employed women so the women can cover their expenses.. Is that a correct interpretation?

If that's what you're saying.. Um.. I can only really say that definitely wouldn't apply to me, personally.. And I don't think I've ever heard any man ever suggest that the employment status of a woman was something important in their criteria for deciding who to try and pick up. But that of course could just be the men I've had interactions with in my very small corner of the world....

Nope, l never added unemployed to my qualifying word of woman

 

[Varzar]

Nope, l never added unemployed to my qualifying word of woman

Ok, I'm sorry, I guess I'm not following your train of thought then.

 

[Juliettaa]

And I don't think I've ever heard any man ever suggest that the employment status of a woman was something important in their criteria for deciding who to try and pick up. But that of course could just be the men I've had interactions with in my very small corner of the world....

By stark contrast, I have heard a lot of men discuss this and I know several men who have gone onto marry women chosen because of their financial status, their job and/or their family money.

The stereotype 'gold digger' does not discriminate. It applies to men and women

 

[Varzar]

By stark contrast, I have heard a lot of men discuss this and I know several men who have gone onto marry women chosen because of their financial status, their job and/or their family money.

The stereotype 'gold digger' does not discriminate. It applies to men and women

Good to know!
Financial status of women would be so far down my list of "important priorities" in choosing a mate that I can't even see it.. lol It would be a complete non-consideration for me.

 

[Judge]

Good to know!
Financial status of women would be so far down my list of "important priorities" in choosing a mate that I can't even see it.. lol It would be a complete non-consideration for me.

True or false, I never thought of myself as a "Sugar Daddy" either.

 

[Juliettaa]

Good to know!
Financial status of women would be so far down my list of "important priorities" in choosing a mate that I can't even see it.. lol It would be a complete non-consideration for me.

I wholeheartedly agree.

For me to climb into bed every night with the same man, he needs to have a lot more qualities than a fat wallet.

So l have done a few threads on my current position which brings me to today's post.

Don't give massages or touch people at work. I don't care what kind of job l work, Don't Touch Me, ever.

It's very disconcerting to have complete strangers touch you, l am not your personal keyboard, do not touch me.

So this idiot is trying to drum up a girlfriend l guess by showing his massage technique. He was giving a female a massage near me. Also, l have had two woman come up and touch me, l feel very uncomfortable. What happened to social and personal boundaries at work? They need cameras in all work areas these days. This defintely tweaked my brain out and a huge gallon of ice cream is calling my name.

How would you handle this? I have a supervisor who won't do anything, a boss who is too nice, but the office manager may want to know. I feel l shouldn't say anything until l have given notice in 5 more weeks.

@Aspychata - touching from colleagues Where are you being touched?

If someone is tapping your forearm, for example, to get your attention - acceptable, unless you've previously told them not to do it.

But if you are being touched intimately, for example, the back of your neck is being stroked, a good response is:

'REMOVE YOUR HAND IMMEDIATELY OR I WILL BREAK YOUR FINGERS'

I bet it'll work every time

 

[Kalinychta]

True, all good points. I have done a excellent job of ignoring this person and will continue to do so. But when things happen and you feel you are being targeted by a certain individual then usually you are correct because females a have a lifetime of being targeted by males (experience.)This person is looking for some older woman and sadly, l guess l fit the bill. But due to the excellent advice, l will say nothing and move on.

How do you know he’s looking for older women?

 

[Aspychata]

Good point, l think he is just targeting a warm barely breathing body.

I have had woman grab my waist which can make me jump. The owner/male teacher did that at the Cuban Ballet school which caught me off guard. Maybe there is something about my waist going on. This happened last year. Anywho, people on the spectrum have a difficult time with touch.

 

[Kalinychta]

Good point, l think he is just targeting a warm barely breathing body.

I have had woman grab my waist which can make me jump. The owner/male teacher did that at the Cuban Ballet school which caught me off guard. Maybe there is something about my waist going on.

Oh I was actually genuinely asking why you think he’s looking for older women and trying to pick everyone up. What exactly does he do?

Well I think when you take a dance class, especially ballet, isn’t it kind of a given that the teacher and other students are going to touch each other? Or did the teacher do it in a way that you thought had nothing to do with what he was trying to teach?

 

[Aspychata]

Okay, it was a random grab by the teacher, but he's a great teacher anyways. But the woman thing happened at my job. But the point is people that deal with autistic traits, some of us are perturbed neither the less.

I live in a state where there are many unemployed men who don't feel the need to work. Me, l would work 60 hours a week if it was a position l liked. (Workaholic) This particular person is blue-collar. But most importantly, l am leaving this position, l am counting the number of days left. I was just curious if other people were as sensitive to touch as l am.

 

[Bolletje]

Good to know!
Financial status of women would be so far down my list of "important priorities" in choosing a mate that I can't even see it.. lol It would be a complete non-consideration for me.

Same. I really don’t care how much money my partner makes. Never have cared about it either. On dates I’m a “split the bill” type of woman, unless I’m dating someone that doesn’t have a lot to spend, in which case I happily foot the bill. In relationships I think it’s only fair that both people contribute, but contribution doesn’t necessarily have to be monetary, it can also be in the form of household chores.

 

[Ylva]

"Don't Touch Me, Ever" is my motto.

 

[Aspychata]

Today he was half in my face, but l am working on the Zen of ignoring rude people. Truly feel this individual is targeting me but l know l will be out of this place.

 

[paloftoon]

Send a private e-mail 1-1 to that person that you don't like to be physically touched at all (including hugging and massages). Always good to have documentation. Simply state that you don't like it and if they continue, repeat the e-mails. If you have to write like 5 of them, then consider going to HR cause when it gets to that point, then that might be a bridge worth burning.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Wasn't there a similar thread a while back? Having a total deja-vu here.

This happened to me a lot at work with women. No clue why but they are all touchy. It's just annoying because they do it once, I act like any normal person would when suddenly there's a couple of hands in their neck and it doesn't happen again because they get the idea. The problem is when you change jobs, you once again get hands in your neck. It's almost like it's part of the hiring phase, and quite annoying. At a certain point I considered showing up at work with a hoodie, but I guess that would send the wrong message to the boss and I figure that once the hoodie goes off, hands go in my neck. I don't have enough hoodies to wear one to work every day.

So uhh... just say that you aren't comfortable with it. Problem solved. It's waaaaay harder when you have touchy bros. I have no solution for that, because it would obviously impact the friendship if you act like a buzzkill. So no more touchy bros as friends, if I can help it.