Enthusiastically being "cured"

[Aspychata]

If your mom is stupid enough to believe that idiot, just wake up in the morning, run screaming to her, l am cured, l am cured, so happy and hug her really tight. Everyday just repeat the same thing, l am cured, you are best the mom ever, just say everyday, then perhaps she will forget office of medical horrors. It's a acting role for you.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes children know more than parents.

 

[Ed#]

Yes she does listen only sometimes, She is scared of computers but not phones. She likes nothing, does nothing. The only thing, I can do right now with her would be talking. She does love me but she goes super on curing autism

Your mom sounds like a sick woman ("likes nothing, does nothing") -- depressed, maybe.

I saw this video about debunking autism "cures" yesterday and thought of you. Of course, your situation is worse, because you're in Pakistan (not exactly known for its quality mental health services), and you're still considered a child, so you have little power. Still, the video makes the point that these stupid "cures" for autism are everywhere.

You're right; there is no cure for autism. I remember reading those words on my professional diagnosis and I got, well...a little sad. It's with me for life.

Yup. There is a good side, though. There is no "cure" for autism because autism is not a disease. We just have different style brains. I actually find the idea of "curing" my innate way of being to be repellant. My instinctive response to that is "go jump in a lake" (that's the PG-13 version, anyhow).

 

[Ed#]

If your mom is stupid enough to believe that idiot, just wake up in the morning, run screaming to her, l am cured, l am cured, so happy and hug her really tight. Everyday just repeat the same thing, l am cured, you are best the mom ever, just say everyday, then perhaps she will forget office of medical horrors. It's a acting role for you.

I was thinking along the same lines. Psychiatric patients, people who are involuntarily committed to substance abuse rehab, and people in prison -- they all learn to do this. They pretend to be "cured," and hope that the staff believe them. If the staff are fooled, then they get released. Honestly, that would be my tactic, were I ever involuntarily hospitalized. I would suppress my "symptoms" and act like the doctors and nurses wanted me to act.

However, there's a downside to that, which our young friend should consider carefully. In doing that, you're sending both the mother and the witch doctor the message that their "cure" worked. That's bad enough, but it also means you have to keep up the act for the duration -- until you're able to live independently. If you let your guard down, then your mom will get disturbed again and drag you back to the witch doctor for another round of treatment. Because she'll think, if it worked the first time, it'll work the second.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes, but the poster will have to mask a bit to fool her or his mom. Because the other options don't exist.

 

[Ed#]

Yeah. One question would be whether he's even able to suppress the autistic traits (the ones bothering mom) long enough to fool both his mom and the witch doctor into thinking he's cured. I imagine people vary on that ability. And I'm not sure which traits mom is disturbed by.

 

[Rodafina]

I was thinking along the same lines. Psychiatric patients, people who are involuntarily committed to substance abuse rehab, and people in prison -- they all learn to do this. They pretend to be "cured," and hope that the staff believe them. If the staff are fooled, then they get released. Honestly, that would be my tactic, were I ever involuntarily hospitalized. I would suppress my "symptoms" and act like the doctors and nurses wanted me to act.

However, there's a downside to that, which our young friend should consider carefully. In doing that, you're sending both the mother and the witch doctor the message that their "cure" worked. That's bad enough, but it also means you have to keep up the act for the duration -- until you're able to live independently. If you let your guard down, then your mom will get disturbed again and drag you back to the witch doctor for another round of treatment. Because she'll think, if it worked the first time, it'll work the second.

Yes, but the poster will have to mask a bit to fool her or his mom. Because the other options don't exist.

Guys, I’m really not sure that encouraging a 13-year-old to straight out lie to his mother and sign up for a lifetime of masking is the best way to go here. I think it’s possible that we could offer some more constructive advice. We have to consider his country, the culture, and the actual options available to him.

It’s important for @tripleU to learn everything he can first ,and at least attempt to get support, because he will need it as he geta older.

 

[Rodafina]

There are many of us here who can attest to the fact that masking since childhood and denying our own voice toward others did not lead to a happy, healthy, or trauma free life. Required masking learned from a young age can be very detrimental

 

[Ed#]

Guys, I’m really not sure that encouraging a 13-year-old to straight out lie to his mother and sign up for a lifetime of masking is the best way to go here. I think it’s possible that we could offer some more constructive advice. We have to consider his country, the culture, and the actual options available to him.

It’s important for @tripleU to learn everything he can first ,and at least attempt to get support, because he will need it as he geta older.

Ok, I hear you. I'm new here, so I'll be quiet.

 

[Ed#]

There are many of us here who can attest to the fact that masking since childhood and denying our own voice toward others did not lead to a happy, healthy, or trauma free life. Required masking learned from a young age can be very detrimental

Agreed. That is another big downside that I did not mention. I would be fine "faking it" in order to get early release, but that's because I can easily go back to my real self once I'm out. I don't have to go back and fake it for the rest of my adolescence. Suppressing your real self takes a tremendous toll. That was part of what I was trying to say, but I didn't say it clearly enough.

 

[Rodafina]

Ok, I hear you. I'm new here, so I'll be quiet.

You don’t really have to be quiet, and I am not trying to silence you either, I just think it is really important for us to realize the full weight of our words and to look at the details of someone’s profile in considering the advice we give. A 30 year-old-dealing with a mother like his and a 13-year-old dealing with a mother like his are two very different situations.

 

[Aspychata]

But sometimes witch doctors are very good duping parents to sign up for things. This is exactly how cults work, by brainwashing people. I stand by what l said. This child has less choices then where l live. I prefer to be very honest with the young adult. My daughter was very intelligent even as a baby.

 

[Aspychata]

Pakistan is not known for supporting human right issues. If this was taking place in the US, l wouldn't have said what l did.

 

[Rodafina]

But sometimes witch doctors are very good duping parents to sign up for things. This is exactly how cults work, by brainwashing people. I stand by what l said. This child has less choices then where l live. I prefer to be very honest with the young adult. My daughter was very intelligent even as a baby.

I want to be absolutely crystal clear that I do not doubt @tripleU’s intelligence in any way. He seems like a well educated young fellow who has taken a lot of initiative to learn about his condition and his brain.

@tripleU, I think you are clever and wise in many ways and I do not doubt your abilities to somehow change your situation. It may take time and ingenuity, but I hope you are not stuck in this difficult position for long.

 

[Ed#]

You don’t really have to be quiet, and I am not trying to silence you either, I just think it is really important for us to realize the full weight of our words and to look at the details of someone’s profile in considering the advice we give. A 30 year-old-dealing with a mother like his and a 13-year-old dealing with a mother like his are two very different situations.

I hear you. That's why I hesitated to post what I said, because I could clearly see the downsides (although I did not articulate them well enough).

p.s. Perhaps I should've followed the old rule, "When in doubt, leave it out." However, if I followed that rule, I'd never say anything, lol.

 

[Rodafina]

Pakistan is not known for supporting human right issues.

Yes. The OP has shared this, himself.

 

[Aspychata]

Sadly, children are forced to grow up faster in other places, it comes down to pure survival.

 

[Rodafina]

Aspychata, I urge you to consider more carefully what you’re saying. Perhaps we should move it to private conversation. You are counseling a minor to lie to his mother. How would you feel about someone telling your daughter that?

Neither you nor I are experts on cultural and family dynamics of Pakistan. This is bordering on the line of reckless advice.

 

[mysterionz]

Your mom sounds like a sick woman ("likes nothing, does nothing") -- depressed, maybe.

I saw this video about debunking autism "cures" yesterday and thought of you. Of course, your situation is worse, because you're in Pakistan (not exactly known for its quality mental health services), and you're still considered a child, so you have little power. Still, the video makes the point that these stupid "cures" for autism are everywhere.

Yup. There is a good side, though. There is no "cure" for autism because autism is not a disease. We just have different style brains. I actually find the idea of "curing" my innate way of being to be repellant. My instinctive response to that is "go jump in a lake" (that's the PG-13 version, anyhow).

off topic but I like his shirt

 

[Ed#]

off topic but I like his shirt

Haha, yeah, he has another one I was admiring the other day. It's an image of an astronaut, and it says, "I need more space." I thought immediately, "I want one of those."