Eye-contact

[tlc]

I try, but on one hand I've been told I have to make eye contact. On the other hand I've been told not to stare. So I often don't know what to do. Besides just avoid people. People have said I'm creepy.

 

[Ylva]

I think it's a wonderful quote. Did you know that the eyeballs are included in pictures of brain anatomy? Like they're part of the brain.

I can include eyes in my field of vision without being creeped out, but if the eyes become the focus it gets all weird and gross.

 

[All-Rounder]

I looked up videos of autist people specifically to see what they're like in a convo with the eye evasion. I came across this girl and she was very interesting, I thought that was a cute trait. I haven't seen as much nor imagined as much eye avoidance before, but I think I might have great levels of it myself.

I also evade eye contact but Ive been feeling more comfortable lately as I tried to just not care about whether people will judge me and not feel intimidated no matter their status. Its more like an active trying, and sometimes I feel awkward if I feel we're staring each other for too long which sometimes makes me focus my eyes on other things and them think im losing patience with listening.

But Ive always thought of my boyfriend turning his gaze away and thats something Id really enjoy to see and maybe partly because it seems shy and cute, and partly because I can relate to it.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I was in college when I read about eye contact being required for "good communication" and realized that I never made eye contact, so I started practicing it. When I'm talking to someone, I look at them for a second or two, then look away. Then I have to remember to look back at them again (I think of it as hitting "refresh" every few seconds).

Looking directly into someone's eyes feels awkward, so I tend to look at the spot between their eyes, or at their forehead. I thought no one noticed, but when I talked to my wife about it (a few months ago - the time I posted this on a previous thread), she said she knows when I'm looking at her forehead or between her eyes. And all this time, I thought I was getting away with it...

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I hate prolonged eye contact!

 

[Pondering]

Eye contact is only truly uncomfortable for me when physically very close face to face. Otherwise, looking into someone's eyes tells me something about the other person anything they're not verbally saying: Emotion. Confidence, or lack thereof. They say 'the eyes are the window to the soul' and it's so true.

 

[Tesseract]

However it's been drilled so often into me that it's 'rude' to not make eye contact...

No it isn't. Rude, that is. Who are they to judge us? I happen to think that people who stare are being 'rude'. It happens to me quite often for some reason, and when it does I will stare right back until whomever is doing it begins to feel uncomfortable and stops. En-tees! So many of them think that their way is the only way! (sigh, eye-roll, and facepalm)

 

[Fino]

No it isn't. Rude, that is. Who are they to judge us? I happen to think that people who stare are being 'rude'. It happens to me quite often for some reason, and when it does I will stare right back until whomever is doing it begins to feel uncomfortable and stops. En-tees! So many of them think that their way is the only way! (sigh, eye-roll, and facepalm)

I stare at people without realizing it. I think it's less than it used to be. A lot of the time, I'm not even seeing them, my eyes are just there.

 

[Tesseract]

If something is this uncomfortable, just don't do it. Why should any of us have to worry about something like this, just because other people don't like it because they don't understand, and have NO idea how horrible it is for us? They should also stop asking us "How are you today?", when they obviously don't give a rat's rear end about how our day has been. Ugh! ENOUGH with these stupid, idiotic rules that make no bloody sense!!!!!

 

[LunaAurum]

No it isn't. Rude, that is. Who are they to judge us? I happen to think that people who stare are being 'rude'.

I agree, it was mostly drilled into me as a child/youth, when it's much trickier to go against the grain or question. Once the habit has been ingrained for many years, even though I know I shouldn't keep doing it to that extent, it takes a while to deprogram.

 

[Moomin]

I’ve been told too many times that making eye contact is the “normal thing to do” and to not make it is considered as rude. Obviously, I find it intrusive. I don’t like eye contact. At first I was pushed to do it by teachers who thought I was being awkward and it would intimidate me badly. Afterwards with specialist support I had the ability to “make eye contact by pinpointing a point passed the person”, so not necessarily making eye contact but it was in a reasonable direction. I do t think that they were aware that I wasn’t making eye contact? Or at least I hope not....

Overtime, I’ve learnt to do it. It is not something that I enjoy doing and sometimes if I’m having a bad day with things, I do the pinpoint solution.

 

[Onna]

“And now I know it is perfectly natural for me not to look at someone when I talk. Those of us with Asperger’s are just not comfortable doing it. In fact, I don’t really understand why it’s considered normal to stare at someone’s eyeballs,” John Elder Robison

What do you think about this quote?

Hearing the words ‘to stare at someone’s eyeballs’ made my eyes feel uncomfortable.

 

[Fino]

Hearing the words ‘to stare at someone’s eyeballs’ made my eyes feel uncomfortable.

Hearing you say your eyes felt uncomfortable made my eyes uncomfortable.

 

[Onna]

Hearing you say your eyes felt uncomfortable made my eyes uncomfortable.

Haha It’s a continuous loop

 

[DystopianDream]

I hate making eye contact with people I don't know. If I'm out in public, I normally look straight ahead or somewhere off to the side (or on a bad day, at the ground).

 

[Tesseract]

I hate making eye contact with people I don't know. If I'm out in public, I normally look straight ahead or somewhere off to the side (or on a bad day, at the ground).

Looking at the ground can be quite profitable. I often find money, one and two dollar coins, a few times I have found five dollar notes, a couple of times I found tens, and once I actually found a fifty lying on the floor near the cashier in a local shop!

 

[Tesseract]

Haha It’s a continuous loop

Someone needs to break the loop before we all feel uncomfortable. Actually, I do now, but because I've been sitting in front of this computer for hours now. I should probably get back to the real world.

 

[Onna]

Someone needs to break the loop before we all feel uncomfortable. Actually, I do now, but because I've been sitting in front of this computer for hours now. I should probably get back to the real world.

But autismforums is closest to an autistic real world.
The so called ‘real world’ mainly consists of NTs and their needs just saying!

 

[Ylva]

There is a real, physical world that is not about NTs. I call it the forest. There's a lot of it around where I live.

But digitally hanging out with you guys is fun, too.

 

[Fino]

There is a real, physical world that is not about NTs. I call it the forest. There's a lot of it around where I live.

But digitally hanging out with you guys is fun, too.

Wait, is it actually a forest or is it something else that you call a forest?