Eye contact isn't painful for me like it is for some, but it is super uncomfortable, almost like staring or invading my personal space. When talking to people, I tend to look at their lips, which helps me understand what they're saying. Though with masks, I can't do that anymore. If I'm giving directions or explaining where something is (especially at work) then I tend to look in that direction. But in most cases, I tend to look around the room kind of randomly.
If I'm video chatting with a friend, then I usually look around either behind my screen, maybe out my window, or I look around his room. It's all without thinking, though. If I try, and I have a stim toy like a fidget spinner or a plushie, then I have an easier time watching the screen, but even then I don't look at his face much.
One problem I have though, is that my friend is deaf, and I'm hard of hearing. And while I know some ASL (American Sign Language), eye contact is a big part of communication with the deaf. I've always wondered how deaf autistics deal with this. I suppose you can just sort of stare at their face to track things like facial expression, and not look directly at their eyes. But even then, focusing my attention on one spot is difficult.