One of the things you should think about @Chance, is that you can never 'fix' anybody, no matter how long and hard you try.
It took me forty years of attempting to help a family composed of chronic alcoholics to really understand this. Every holiday drunk and falling asleep at dinner, you could never talk to them after about four o' clock.
Especially if they don't believe anything is their problem, they once all attacked me with; "there are no alcoholics in this family." Said with shaking hands from the DT's, while watching another who had fallen asleep with their face almost in a bowl of mashed potatoes. So no, even that sort of evidence, right in front of you, can be denied wholeheartedly. People delude themselves.
It means at least to me that the other person takes no responsibility for their behavior, is not any way self-reflective and likely won't be in the near future. Take it from me that being hateful to someone you are supposed to love, is about control and hurting the other party. Yes, I've been angry at my spouse, but I've not acted like I detested him.
Maybe, a year of trial separation might change things a little. Then you'll know.
It took me forty years of attempting to help a family composed of chronic alcoholics to really understand this. Every holiday drunk and falling asleep at dinner, you could never talk to them after about four o' clock.
Especially if they don't believe anything is their problem, they once all attacked me with; "there are no alcoholics in this family." Said with shaking hands from the DT's, while watching another who had fallen asleep with their face almost in a bowl of mashed potatoes. So no, even that sort of evidence, right in front of you, can be denied wholeheartedly. People delude themselves.
It means at least to me that the other person takes no responsibility for their behavior, is not any way self-reflective and likely won't be in the near future. Take it from me that being hateful to someone you are supposed to love, is about control and hurting the other party. Yes, I've been angry at my spouse, but I've not acted like I detested him.
Maybe, a year of trial separation might change things a little. Then you'll know.
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