For the single men in this forum.

[tazz]

It would be an amazing quincidence if that was true.

It isn't

 

[Aspychata]

Woman are allowed more ways to market themselves, makeup, hair dye, heels, etc. , where men just don't change haircuts, or into better fitting clothes, or tats, etc.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

For those men who are not single, but are in heterosexual relationships. There are a lot of reasons for divorce or breakup, but the number one reason is a loss of a job, income, or ability to provide.

 

[BoltzmannBrain17]

This is pretty reductive and rather opinionated without any data to support your thinking. It’s fine for you to have this opinion, but that is not actually “just the way it is,” nor is it a “cold hard truth.” Let’s recognize that this is your opinion based on your thoughts and experience in the world.

I realize many men here have struggled in finding partners, but many of the women have struggled, too. The truth is that finding someone that we mesh well with emotionally and physically is a challenge because we are each so unique.

Women rarely struggle as much as men when it comes to finding partners. As a woman you may not always attract men you want but that's better than not being to attract anything period. Which is the situation most autistic men are in.

This sounds so sad. Many woman are not chosen by men because they aren't 10's or even 6's. Or they have a horrible voice, or a crappy personality, so looks don't even matter. Beautiful woman are only considered notches on guys bedroom post, and not respected for much else. So l hope that this perspective evens the playing field.

I think men should focus on a look, change out your haircut, ask a sales clerk to offer ideas on your body type for clothes. Maybe some cool glasses. My good friend would wear these really streamline glasses that made him ooze attraction, but then he laserx his eyes, and doesn't wear them. I still think about him in those glasses, sharp looking. Lol

I'd much rather be a notch on a bedroom post to someone than nothing at all.

I think you are generalizing. It's not like all single men on this forum are single for one and the same spesific reason. That's not possible I would say. It would be an amazing quincidence if that was true.

Not all but I'd wager a large percentage of men on here are single for the reason espoused.

I'm broke, thoroughly asexual, terribly fussy and unpleasant, drive a crappy '90s car but preferably travel on a rusted-out old bicycle, am still in college, was 24 before I kissed a girl (actually she kissed me first), am far from being rich, am fairly ignorant of pop culture, dress like an Edwardian scarecrow, and have the body of a Dachau escapee--with a permanent case of RBF. Oh, and my skin has weird scaley patches.

And I am in love with a very affectionate young lady, whom I love deeply, & we both intend to be married when we get a chance, a clergyman, and an apartment. We met online, actually--it took me about 30 minutes of looking.

Every "incel" I've ever encountered has one thing in common, and it's the personality. I am probably not a very nice person but I think incels are unable to find a girlfriend because they aren't looking for a real live girlfriend, but for the mythical "Therapeutic Quim of Healing" that will solve all their problems. (This does not exist.)

You have a very conventionally attractive face.

 

[tazz]

When I was 19, I felt I knew some stuff about the world. But now I'm 50+ I realise I didn't actually know that much. I'm still learning now.

I'm replying to myself... what fun...

I realised that sentence also works like this...

When I was 19, I felt I knew some stuff about myself. But now I'm 50+ I realise I didn't actually know that much. I'm still learning now.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I agree with the OP 100%. I might not have a ugly face but I am obese which means I attract couples and married women. Single men who are slim and muscular don't remain single for long meanwhile I can't even get a coffee date.

 

[Gerontius]

ou have a very conventionally attractive face.

I also have maybe $2000 in the bank, have been depressed since I was 16, and once forgot who Will Smith is.

Also, I really, REALLY think most guys with low self-esteem (as long as they avoid the "Nice Guy"(TM) trap, are going to end up missing confidence because confidence is very appealing to everyone.

I thought you looked quite nice as well actually--pick your coolest-looking attributes & really lean into it.

 

[Jordy]

Women rarely struggle as much as men when it comes to finding partners. As a woman you may not always attract men you want but that's better than not being to attract anything period. Which is the situation most autistic men are in.

I'd much rather be a notch on a bedroom post to someone than nothing at all.

Not all but I'd wager a large percentage of men on here are single for the reason espoused.

You have a very conventionally attractive face.

You are too truthful.

 

[BoltzmannBrain17]

Yes woman don't like unattractive man. And water is wet. But i disagree with the autism not being a contributing factor thing. Rate of male virginity is sky high for man on the autism spectrum.

This is going to be controversial but IMO autism is a contributing factor in that at it's core it is a dysgenic disorder and most autistic people are unattractive physically because of these bad genes.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I also have maybe $2000 in the bank, have been depressed since I was 16, and once forgot who Will Smith is.

Until he slaps you, my friend.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

All my married so called friends are slim and some muscular. I am flabby but I am trying to lose weight but it's happening too slowly but even then my ASD will still cause me to be single.

 

[Forest Cat]

Not all but I'd wager a large percentage of men on here are single for the reason espoused.

I'll take that bet. I know the dating market is hard now, the internet changed things and dating has always been difficult for many, many people. But I also know something about people and beauty and dating isn't just about a pretty face.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Look at my Instagram pictures.
https://www.instagram.com/htonyramirez/I might not be ugly but to single woman I might as well look like the elephant man because I am obese. Men uglier than me are in relationships because they are slim and normal.

 

[Rodafina]

Women rarely struggle as much as men when it comes to finding partners. As a woman you may not always attract men you want but that's better than not being to attract anything period. Which is the situation most autistic men are in.

Since you said “you,” I can offer you my singular experience that this is not always true. I do not attract people with my feminine wiles. Never have. But sometimes, men have liked my personality.

Why would I want to attract a man that I don’t want? Typically this is called harassment.

I do not want to invalidate your opinion. I understand that you feel this way because of everything that you have seen and experienced in the world. It’s just that all of our experiences are going to be different.

Based on your post history, you are very interested in physical attractiveness and sharing photos. If this is a positive thing for you, that is great, but if feeling unattractive is something that brings you stress and dissatisfaction in life, it’s best to focus on other things and find kindred spirits who will do the same.

If you and Magna can find some data that support this kind of thinking, that is perfectly acceptable, but there are always outliers and in many realms, people with autism thrive among the outliers.

Just find the people for whom attractiveness is not the most important thing.

And remember, we are all aging every single day. Attractiveness is not something that is static. It changes over time based on how you treat yourself and how you feel about yourself. No matter what, after some point it is always just degrading. We are each just cells and atoms.

 

[Tom]

The many married (or in relationship) guys on this forum alone suggests your theory needs some tweaks.

 

[LadyS]

Also, I really, REALLY think most guys with low self-esteem (as long as they avoid the "Nice Guy"(TM) trap, are going to end up missing confidence because confidence is very appealing to everyone.

This. And I'll also add having a very negative attitude, especially when the chips are down. THIS says a lot about a person.

I've always agreed with the sentiment - Don't base your judgement on a person when they're at their best, but when they're at their worst.

Too often we only think of the good times, but don't think about how a partner handles the rough times and this is usually where relationships fall apart.

 

[Forest Cat]

Until he slaps you, my friend.

Good, good, we always need more slap jokes.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

The many married (or in relationship) guys on this forum alone suggests your theory needs some tweaks.

Not me. I might as well give up. Many want me too.

 

[Rodafina]

Until he slaps you, my friend.

Thanks to @Judge and @Forest Cat I actually understand what you are talking about!

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Since you said “you,” I can offer you my singular experience that this is not always true. I do not attract people with my feminine wiles. Never have.

They just don't appreciate good dragons

I will say, for the sake of argument: even if women have an easier time finding someone, they are probably more likely to end up trapped in an abusive relationship. Or dead. It may not seem like it in college, but there's much worse that can happen in relationships than not finding someone. Though I know that's not much of a comfort when you're lonely.