Friend is pressuring me to read a religious book.

[Markness]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

 

[Metalhead]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

Damn, I hate people like that. I want to buy you a Cradle of Filth T shirt now just so you can wear it around that guy.

 

[Slightly]

Wish I could give good advice about your friend. I guess there's a fine line between trying to help you by offering what helps them and shoving something unwanted down your throat. Does your friend otherwise accept you for who you are?

I hear you about some of the bible being pretty disturbing. My mom used to read me the old testament. The good guys were always swooping out of the hills and smashing babies and raping and murdering and burning and taking slaves for sex and sale, all because the bad guys had a statue. A terrible, terrible statue.

And don't get me started on the foreskin economics. Bleah.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Pressuring anyone into things and having the same done to you can get weird really fast. In that scenario I'd have to really evaluate where me and said friend were in our friendship and get him to cool it.

Unless of course religion is your special interest or something, and in that case you might get a kick out of reading it, debating him on it and having some good conversation. But it really depends on where it's coming from, too.

Unsolicited advice is usually where things go south for me, if it gets to being overbearing. The dynamic is different for everyone though, and intention really matters most.

 

[Rodafina]

It doesn’t really matter what the topic is, anyone pressuring you in that way feels disrespectful to me. Even if it comes from a place of caring and concern, they should care about your opinion, and not push their own ideas on you like that.

 

[Metalhead]

Play track four from Deicide’s Scars of the Crucifix album.

I cannot say the name of that song here, but I am certain you can look it up.

On another note, once when I was on vacation, I was blasting that song in my friend’s car while we were on our way to a popular Catholic garden. God decided to smite me while I was there by having me slip on some stone steps and land on my back in a very painful way. The rest of that vacation, I was limping. That proved to me - God does exist.

 

[NB79]

Since autistics like to use logic sometimes, its simple, either God exists or not, its not worth it to follow a religion if its a lie, i had experiences with the Holy spirit clear as anything else, so he does exists, also i am not alone in this there is millions of testimonies, then he wants something? he can bless us like the bible says? what is the truth? there is a lot of arguments people have that fall apart once you know he does exists.

 

[Au Naturel]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

I grew up in Christian fundamental-style religion, complete with church and Sunday school, Billy Graham on television, and even the occasional tent revival. It never helped my depression in the slightest.

Fairly early on, I became agnostic but kept it up to keep my parents happy. I could not prove that God did or did not exist. Moreover, I couldn't see why God would need to exist nor why one vision of God had any more merit than another. I couldn't see any benefit from following religion just for show. Even in the 60s, Physics, cosmology, and other sciences offered testable explanations for almost everything relevant in my life. If an explanation can't be objectively tested, it is just uninformed speculation.

If something is unknowable, untestable, and undetectable, to me it doesn't matter.

 

[Mary Terry]

My technique for dealing with overzealous religious busy bodies is to tell them that my religion is deeply personal to me, that how I worship is personal, and that the Bible forbids judging others, but thank them for their concern about the salvation of my soul. Then ignore them.

 

[Knower of nothing]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

If we take a step back from the literal idea of God or some organized faith and instead at what people use the idea for, it becomes more reasonable. It's a framework, ideally one that gives you mental fortitude in the face of hardship.
I don't think it needs to be religious at all, but having some kind of point to spin your own story around helps a lot of people with not spiraling out. (Though it will always come with compromise of some sort).
I think you can safely ignore any faith you aren't a part of and should set some boundaries against pushy people like this. There's some less than favorable sects out there that deliberately seek out the emotionally unwell to grow their influence. It's good to be used to saying no and going your own way just in case you ever come across those.

 

[tree]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

Go back to how you used to be?

But how you 'used to be' would be a return to an act you
put on in response to parental direction.

Does you friend offer to read through the book with you?

 

[Magna]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

Here's the great thing about life: Your friend is free to spend his own money on whatever he wants. He gave you the book and "told you to promise him that you'd read it". You're free to: Decide not to even open the book and also free to tell him you're not interested, will not read the book (if you don't want to) and ask him if he wants it back. Life is a beautiful thing. Also, if your friend continues to pressure you after you tell him (if you do) that you're not interested in his version of "having God in your life" again, showing that he doesn't respect you or your boundaries...you're also free to back away from that friendship. I think it's an important realization that if a person continues to pressure you to adopt their beliefs (whatever they might be) after you tell them you're not interested, that person does not respect you.

 

[Magna]

Does you friend offer to read through the book with you?

What would be the purpose of that if @Markness knows how to read?

 

[tree]

What would be the purpose of that if @Markness knows how to read?

Ever hear of book discussion groups?

Where people share insights about the material read....

If the friend thinks the book would be useful, possibly that's because he's
found it to be useful to him, and he could describe his thoughts and
reactions.

========
@Markness
He told me to promise him to read it.

What did you do in regard to that urging?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I respect religious people; all I ask is that they respect me.

 

[Markness]

@Markness
He told me to promise him to read it.

What did you do in regard to that urging?

I read through the first few pages and what I read wasn’t anything special. It’s just run of the mill self-help text with a Evangelical slant. I picked back up the Late Bloomers book and found that more worth my time.

 

[Gerontius]

I read through the first few pages and what I read wasn’t anything special. It’s just run of the mill self-help text with a Evangelical slant. I picked back up the Late Bloomers book and found that more worth my time.

It's OK to tell your friend that, too.
Not every book works perfectly. Something like "thanks for the thought but this is not working well for me. I do not relate to the Evangelical sect and if you remove that from it, it's a fairly ordinary self-help text. How did it work for you?" Maybe you can have a conversation on what's actually helpful for the friend too, so you can learn how that person thinks.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

My friend is pressuring me to become religious again because he thinks I “lack God” in my life. At Target today, he wanted me to purchase a book called “Get Out Of Your Head” where the author really pushes building a relationship with “God.” I told him I could rent it from the library I work at instead but he kept insisting I buy it and finally purchased it himself for me. He told me to promise him to read it.

I was made to go to church and a Christian private school as a child. It was after when I was 17 and became clinically depressed that my faith in “God” fell apart. Even back when I called myself a Christian and I never got any “epiphanies” and felt like “God” or Jesus loved me. If anything, I found a lot of what I was made to read from various versions of the Bible to be disturbing. Yet people like my friend seem to think the answer to my struggles is to go back to how I used to be.

Aww man, I've been in the same situation except slightly smaller It was a little creepy and the guy weirded me out a lot. It's been two months since I completely banished him from my contacts. I've been much happier and freer since then ^^ Not only did he try to get me into something my family doesn't do, but he also made me uncomfortable. Huge red flag.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

Here's the great thing about life: Your friend is free to spend his own money on whatever he wants. He gave you the book and "told you to promise him that you'd read it". You're free to: Decide not to even open the book and also free to tell him you're not interested, will not read the book (if you don't want to) and ask him if he wants it back. Life is a beautiful thing. Also, if your friend continues to pressure you after you tell him (if you do) that you're not interested in his version of "having God in your life" again, showing that he doesn't respect you or your boundaries...you're also free to back away from that friendship. I think it's an important realization that if a person continues to pressure you to adopt their beliefs (whatever they might be) after you tell them you're not interested, that person does not respect you.

Facts. I had to do that to that exact person, and it had never happened to me before.

 

[tree]

I read through the first few pages and what I read wasn’t anything special. It’s just run of the mill self-help text with a Evangelical slant. I picked back up the Late Bloomers book and found that more worth my time.

How do the two differ?

What do they have in common?