GET the COOKIE

[Flinty]

I intercept the rocket with the reindeer that now include Rudolph among them. I then deliver coal and the cookie to Pitcairn Island.

 

[OrSomething]

I steal a rich person's private jet and fly to Pitcairn Island to get the cookie. I give the cookie to the rich person to make up for stealing their jet.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I am the rich person, you fool. I now have the cookie without having to do anything. Letting you take the jet was just a trick.

I now beef up my security, with lasers,ex military and keep the cookie in a hall or unbreakable mirrors, reflecting thousands and thousands of cookies

 

[Reedstorm17]

I have taken to living in this hall of mirrors and cookies.

 

[OrSomething]

I disguise myself as the maid and sneak into the house and then into the hall of mirrors. I take the cookie and step through the mirror. The cookie comes with me into the mirror world.

 

[tree]

This is what I do:
Cast a spell on Alice from Wonderland since she is familiar with mirror travel.

This is how:
I spell out my request.
*A .. l.. i .. c.. e, .... b.. r.. i .. n .. g ... m.. e ... t .. h.. e ... c .. o.. o .. k .. i .. e.*

Then I hide the cookie in the oven previously used by the Witch in Hansel and Gretel.

 

[Reedstorm17]

I'm the witch. Gretel just pushed me into the oven.

 

[tree]

Now that the Witch has met her timely end, as gingerbread,
I easily remove the toasty warm cookie from the oven and
place it in a beautifully wrapped package and send it to the
North Pole on a drone.

 

[Flinty]

The drone runs out of power around Iqaluit. I get the Nunavut government to take the cookie to its emergency enclosure full of carnivorous and hungry polar bears. The Canadian army has been put on high alert to make sure no one gets to the cookie.

 

[OrSomething]

One of the polar bears escapes from the enclosure, and is caught by hunters. When they cut the polar bear up, I notice that the cookie is in its stomach. I take the stomach and donate it to a museum to be preserved when polar bears go extinct.

 

[tree]

I thank OrSomething for the gift of the cookie, and say that I will take it
to the Processing Area so that it can be cleaned before going on permanent display.

I head for the botanical garden in Ann Arbor, MI, where I leave the cookie
in the care of a Musclewood tree dyad with the instruction to respond to
only to a person who can identify which tree is its other name in the
Counting Out Rhyme by Edna St.Vincent Millay.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Beech. Thanks for the cookie!

 

[tree]

Thanks for not hiding the cookie.
That was easy.

I place the cookie under Donald Trump's pillow.

 

[Flinty]

As it turns out, "pillow" is the Secret Service nickname for Ivana. When she realizes what she is sitting on, she hands it to me. I tie it to the very top of the CN Tower.

 

[Reedstorm17]

I send my older sibling's leopard gecko up the tower, then take the cookie into the percussion section with me for the band concert.

 

[Flinty]

As it turns out, the cookie was given to the Bedside Manor band; specifically to the guy on oxygen who plays the trumpet. As the band is currently in Memphis, I make the short-ish drive to the Hermitage and squeeze it between two of the logs that make up the slaves' quarters.

Spoiler

Yes, a guy on oxygen playing trumpet per the current plot of Funky Winkerbean.

 

[tree]

Using remote mind control, I order an agile local possum to remove the cookie.
I reward the possum with a bag of corn, and teleport the cookie to a place in
California called the Cookie Shoppe.

 

[Flinty]

I buy the cookie even though the owner has no idea how it got there. I drive to Montana and set it up to be held by the ghost of Ted Kaczynski.

 

[tree]

The cookie drops through Ted's incorporeal grasp,
and rolls directly into my hands. I place the cookie
on the paten the Pope uses for house calls.

 

[Theta.G]

I sneak into the pope's dwelling by pretending to be a priest and grab the cookie off of the paten. During lunch break, i take it to a specialized cookie shop and place it in with a box of cookies of the same type.