greeting from Canada

[Forest Cat]

Hello and welcome.

 

[NeuroQuest]

Thank you. I hope I don't driver everyone crazy as I try to learn what goes where - blogs and threads and media, oh my!

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Yes, this resonates with me. Yes, I also have scripts for situations I am familiar with.

I am not as articulate as you are, but I think I get some of what you are saying. I have not found ways to share my inner life except when I recognize something written by someone else and I think to myself - yes, that’s it.

I struggle to find the right words and frequently give up. Good for you to keep trying.

I think not in words or in pictures, but in patterns. I do perceive things for which I have no words and no way to convey these experiences to others, or even describe them to myself.

I don’t perceive these as an aroma, although I can see how that might describe them. When I let myself go, these perceptions expand like pictures of fractals I have seen; complex and expanding until my brain can’t take it any further. But they are not visual. The fractal thing is to explain more how it feels.

 

[Outdated]

It resonates very strongly with me as well and also gets a few mentions in my diagnostic report. I was tested by a panel of 3 and they explained a lot to me as I was going through my diagnosis. What you describe are key characteristics that they're specifically looking for during diagnosis.

I have quite a library of memorized mental “scripts” to draw from.

That is something they specifically asked me about. And yes, I have thousands of them, tens of thousands. And on the odd occasion when someone asks me something I don't have the preprepared response for absolute honesty tumbles out of my mouth before I can stop it. At least with me it's more often seen as a poor attempt at humour rather than deliberately being rude.

According to Temple Grandin, at least, some people think in words, some people think in patterns/mathematics, and some people are visual thinkers. I don’t think I fall into any of these types, but maybe patterns. My thoughts manifest as what I can only describe as an "aroma" or feelings of associations between concepts. Words don’t do the feeling justice. It’s a feeling of the “direction of possible knowing”, the way a dog might catch the scent of something unknown in the air and then track the smell. It's as if my mind creates a complex web of interconnected ideas and impressions, each with its own distinct aroma that I can sense and navigate.

There's a thread in this forum asking "do you think in words or pictures" and I honestly can't describe how my thinking works. I talk to myself inside my head vocally and often there's several simultaneous conversations going on in there at once but that's only a fraction of what's going on. And sometimes I don't even do what most people would consider thinking, answers just pop in to my head by themselves without me needing to ask. I just "know" somehow.

While others seem to effortlessly exchange ideas in a fluid back-and-forth, I often find myself needing more time to process and respond.

This is also one of the key signs they look for during diagnosis. It seems to take us longer to process verbal language, the actual act of abstraction, than it does most people. I'm a good communicator, in fact one on one I'm a pretty fair con man if I decide I want something. In a conversation with two other people I have no problems. With three other people there starts to be a little bit of lag, it's starting to take me longer to translate all the sounds. Get four or five others together and by the time I've come up with a comment in the conversation everyone else has already moved on and my comment would be out of place.

Then there's a common hearing problem that we have too, many of us have superb hearing but no filter so we hear everything at once and struggle to focus on a single voice in a crowd.

So in short - Yes, you're normal.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Hmm. I'm salivating. Someone must've rung a bell.
I can only converse one-to-one. Even then, yes I have to process a response. It's usually not that I haven't understood, or that I don't know the answer, it's trying to get the answer into coherent language.
When I'm "idle", there are usually multiple lines of thought churning around. My wife often would ask me out of the blue "What are you thinking?" At the words, the thought processes would collapse and I could not give her an answer. Even though I hate lying, I eventually learned to answer "nothing" since I couldn't really give an answer. I explained the above to her once, and she didn't get it.
Anytime someone interrupts me when I am mentally occupied, I am initially disoriented. Sometimes I have to ask them to repeat what they just said.

 

[DrBadStrings]

Then there's a common hearing problem that we have too, many of us have superb hearing but no filter so we hear everything at once and struggle to focus on a single voice in a crowd.

I struggle with this one big time. Even with earplugs if I can't see the persons mouth there's no way I'm going to follow what they are saying.

I have not found ways to share my inner life except when I recognize something written by someone else and I think to myself - yes, that’s it.

I feel that one. Part of why I've always been a voracious reader. Figuring out the world through the examples of others in the safety of a book.

 

[Outdated]

My wife often would ask me out of the blue "What are you thinking?" At the words, the thought processes would collapse and I could not give her an answer. Even though I hate lying, I eventually learned to answer "nothing" since I couldn't really give an answer.

Ditto. When I first started having girlfriends a few of them asked me that and it created complete confusion. I was convinced they were playing silly little girl head games with me, how could anyone tell what they're thinking?

I struggle with this one big time. Even with earplugs if I can't see the persons mouth there's no way I'm going to follow what they are saying.

I rely heavily on being able to see people when I'm talking to them, over the phone I'm half deaf and have to keep asking people to repeat themselves. And video calls aren't a whole lot better but it does help, to really talk to people I need to be in front of them.

 

[AuAL]

Here in Oz a very common greeting is “How are you?” (Sometimes, “How’s it going?”) My invariable answer is, “Not too bad.” (It works for either question. I can give this response in multiple languages, not that that is useful here but I have it handy for other situations.) If I don’t say this, something is really wrong. (Note: this is culturally a greeting, not an enquiry.) I may have other “scripts” - it’s part of deep masking - this one just leapt to mind due to its frequency and ubiquity.

As for the thinking, I’m definitely a visual thinker. I work on computational algorithms by imagining their behaviour in a 3D, visual space, then extrapolating in the code. I am a big fan of “visual analytics”, and my colleagues could tell you I will often want to “SEE what the data tells us.” Graphically, visually. Let someone else do the statistics thing.

 

[NeuroQuest]

All the various comments made me chuckle. All too familiar. I dread the question "how are you?". I have to do a complete mental body scan, and don't have ready words for anything, except MAYBE The easiest answer to the questions is therefore "fine". Asking me "what are you thinking?" is equivalent to asking a computer to recite the full value of pi. ANY question, pretty much, evokes a mental logic tree of overwhelming dimensions, leaving me to pick through the various branches of the tree for ones that I guess might be most relevant to the person asking the question. THEN comes the impossible task of finding words to describe what I find. It's way easier not to talk at all, since saying anything encourages others to ask questions. Sigh.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

It’s important to learn the patterns of whatever language or culture you are living in.
How are you? Fine
How was your weekend? Great
How was your holiday? Terrific.

These are just communication patterns of social life.

When I need to function in a different language, after I learn the basics (please, thank you, where is the bathroom) I next learn common verbal exchanges. It makes everything easier for everyone.

Maybe this would all be easier for us if we thought of it as communicating in a foreign culture.

 

[Outdated]

I think that might be a little more difficult in Australia, and Britain too, where a lot of our use of language is very contextual, so depending on context "Have a nice day." can be a genuine sentiment or it can mean "Get out and don't ever come back.".

This contextual format is easier to get the grasp of when you look at our use of swear words, to us they're only rude if being rude was the intent, they're also often used as terms of endearment. But that contextual change of meaning flows through to most of our use of language.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I write fairly quickly, have some issues with spelling due to stroke also have to hunt and peck before stroke could touch type.

 

[NeuroQuest]

I write fairly quickly, have some issues with spelling due to stroke also have to hunt and peck before stroke could touch type.

I empathize with you having a stroke. I had a cerebellar stroke, this past December. It left me with deficits including intention tremor (right side) and slurred speech. Handwriting and typing were a problem. Things have gradually improved, but the slurred speech is still noticeable when I am tired. Overall, I have been pretty lucky, however.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm recovering pretty well left side effected prescription for gabapentin set me back two years of recovery. long story.
lost sensitivity on left side looks like one nerve got damaged where it hooks up in brain. currently keep track of temperature blood pressure and oxygen daily using statistics as I am a trained quality engineer. Suspect stroke was caused by covid at very start. Due to this I made covid a special interest and documented my findings on this site.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I think that might be a little more difficult in Australia, and Britain too, where a lot of our use of language is very contextual, so depending on context "Have a nice day." can be a genuine sentiment or it can mean "Get out and don't ever come back.".

This contextual format is easier to get the grasp of when you look at our use of swear words, to us they're only rude if being rude was the intent, they're also often used as terms of endearment. But that contextual change of meaning flows through to most of our use of language.

I agree that different cultures need different approaches. And my examples were presumed to be the greeting chit chat. Those questions or answers could have different meanings in different contexts.

And even in the US, there are regional differences.

Just out of curiosity, are there routine greeting type exchanges? Formalities that are typically used? I'm not saying you use them, necessarily. But in general.

 

[Outdated]

Just out of curiosity, are there routine greeting type exchanges? Formalities that are typically used? I'm not saying you use them, necessarily. But in general.

These are very standard greetings and questions that I mostly answer automatically, they're more of a standard protocol than genuine questions and the answers are expected to be generic.

G'day, how're you going?
Pretty good, and you?

How's life treating you?
Can't complain, no one wants to hear it anyway.

You get up to much on the weekend?
Nah, just kicked back and relaxed.

D'ja watch the cricket?
Nah, it's like watching grass grow.

 

[Jonn]

I'm developing a growing sense of self-compassion, something I haven't experienced before, and it's transformational.

Self-confidence, self-esteem, personal integrity, self-compassion...
Inner peace.

 

[Jonn]

Welcome John, I'm from Sydney, Nova Scotia.

I'm from Sydney too, but down under.

 

[Jonn]

Just out of curiosity, are there routine greeting type exchanges? Formalities that are typically used? I'm not saying you use them, necessarily. But in general.

Just as Outdated said:
G'day, mate, though I think there are elements in out society that are trying to cancel the traditional Australian culture.

 

[Jonn]

These are very standard greetings and questions that I mostly answer automatically, they're more of a standard protocol than genuine questions and the answers are expected to be generic politically incorrect.

G'day, how're you going they hangin'?
Pretty good, and you? A little to the left.

How's life treating you?
Can't complain, no one wants to hear it anyway . Bonza, mate. As happy as a sheila with a credit card.

You get up to much on the weekend?
Nah, just kicked back and relaxed with a can of Fosters.

D'ja watch the cricket?
Nah, it's like watching grass grow. Stone the crows, mate, do I look daft?

I fixed it for you.