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Hate hanging out with couples.

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single Aspie
V.I.P Member
Do you. I do since most of my friends or acquaintances are couples.

I also lost a close friend 17 years ago when my close friend got married but before when he coupled with his girlfriend he was not the same. Always doing things like holding hands, cuddling and kissing. I felt like a 3rd wheel.

Now since most of the Church attended are couples, married and such I find them very annoying to be around with them holding hands and their kids playing, showing pictures of their kids. I also found another Church which I am going to first attend next week maybe it won't be all stinking couples.

Meanwhile I been single for 43 years of my life, never dated a girl, kissed a girl or been in love which was both ways as I only had crushes so I'm bitter.

Now I don't want to hear from the same dang people here saying my wife, my boyfriend, meet my spouse or other crap like that. I want to hear from other singles only
 
Hello, other single here.

I don't mind hanging out with couples our age. They're not all lovey dovey.

I can't stand young couples, all full of hopes and dreams and beginning a journey. Yuck. I'm jealous. That's all over for me.

I'm old and cynical now. I really don't think I'll find anyone. I have none of those hopes and dreams.
 
I know I will never find anyone no matter where I go to socialize as their will be something that will ruin it like Covid did.

I dont have much hope going to a different Church I expect couples their a few girls with boyfriends and plenty of Johnny come lately which show up once or twice then never show up again or all guys at a Co-ed group.

I just hope that couples don't irritated me at another Church like the one I am attending now by rubbing it in with there smiles and kids but I expect it anywhere. Just like now going to my current Church Facebook page and seeing an couple with their kids which made me create this very post.
 
How do you figure this attitude is attractive to anyone, like
a potential girlfriend, mate, or friend?

Constantly complaining that you're grossed out seeing couples?

Happy people aren't being happy in order to torture you.
 
Great you are trying a different church. l see you making changes, taking initiative, and talking about it. It's okay to sound out thoughts. I think you are expressing a personal opinion. I do hate it when people insinuate l should be with someone because l am older. I want to tell them where to go. Plenty of older single people. So yes, l totally agree with you. Period. l don't want to hang out with couples because they aren't any better then me. Alot of couples are stuck together and can't leave due to finances, or addiction, or in my case, a teenager.
 
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You should be looking online for girls with similar physical characteristics to yourself. And I wouldn't specifically go with a Christian. I think you'd meld better with someone non-religious.
 
Couples, run awaaaaaay........

They're often bored with each other and/or somewhat estranged so they go looking for someone to drag into their lives hoping to alter the boredom quotient.
 
On the subject of couples, I typically enjoy them because they're often so cute together and it's sweet that they make each other happy. I do inevitable think about the dark side to the relationship and feel some pity for them, but I pray for them to have as positive a relationship as possible.
 
Fino said:
You should be looking online for girls with similar physical characteristics to yourself. And I wouldn't specifically go with a Christian. I think you'd meld better with someone non-religious.
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Where. Facebook recommends couples since I have some friends again single by choice and a couple of couples as friends all from the Church.
 
There's a lot of dating sites out there. I believe you should be able to find one's which are free. They usually come with less features if you aren't willing to subscribe. But, if you actively want to date and put in enough time and effort, you will eventually find someone.

As others have said - negativity isn't something that attracts other people. The same goes for depression - it ends up dragging others down with you. Personally, I would suggest getting to a place where you're happier and content with yourself before dating. Otherwise you run the risk of making your mental health issues worse when you start dating.

Ed
 
My friend who is a couple said the same thing. Again the friends I lost 17 years ago also said the same thing.

With my mental state and Phobias I will never be ready. I just hope by then I will die in my 50s alone and bitter.
 
I think something to remember is this - a lot of people out there are only in relationships as they think it beats being lonely. In all honesty, there's a lot more freedom to being single, it's up to people to utilise that freedom as they see fit.

Ed
 
Raggamuffin said:
I think something to remember is this - a lot of people out there are only in relationships as they think it beats being lonely. In all honesty, there's a lot more freedom to being single, it's up to people to utilise that freedom as they see fit.

Ed
Click to expand...

That doesn't really help when being single hadn't been a choice. At least someone found them desirable. Some of us are just nothing's that no one wants.
 
Raggamuffin said:
Assuming you're undesirable to everyone is just an example of depressive, all or nothing thinking.

Ed
Click to expand...

Look I'm a 40 year old woman who has only ever been asked on 2 dates in my life and one of the guys changed his mind before the date. That's not a desirable woman by anyone's book.

It's the way other people have treated us that makes us feel undesirable. When I evaluated myself, when I look in the mirro I'm not that bad. I believe in myself. Others don't. And when I say others, I don't mean my family and close friends, I mean single men. They just don't want a me.

Erasing people's experiences and calling it disordered thinking is stupid.
 
Stigma is rife amongst the autistic community. However, you can't say that past experiences dictate how future one's will turn out. Claiming that every single man doesn't want you is more "all or nothing" thinking. I'm not erasing experiences at all. I'm trying to show how there's patterns within depressive thinking which continue to fuel it, and it doesn't have to continue to be that way. It isn't stupid - it's simply highliting one of numerous ways people can think which sabotages their happiness and wellbeing.

Whilst situations and people can be difficult or upsetting - we have the freedom to choose how we wish to react. You could take a negative experience and assume every situation will play out the same. Or you could turn a negative into a positive and a learning experience.

Ed
 
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