I agree. Especially when they have the nerve couples giving advice to single people.
Well, if you do not get advice from couples, how will you date, or not be single anymore? I mean, those single are either having the same difficulties as you, or are not interested in finding another, for whatever reason. So, why would their advice be any better than the advice from some couple?
Also, couples were single before they became couples? You make the assumption all couples had it easy finding someone or had many dating experiences, and you seem to assume they are happy in their relationship. Many could have had just one relationship, and be more miserable than you even.
Would it not make rational sense to listen to all input then, to find out not only what they did or did not do, for you to make more well informed decisions, and to see if they too still see a relationship as having more benefits than negatives? Maybe some of those couples could even envy your position right now, and give advice to not make the same mistake.
I realize when one does not have something, or have not tried something yet, and when society glamorizes those things, one can assume one is missing out on a lot. I can just say, there is a reason why lots of divorce still happens these days, and why persons are marrying later, or why many are not choosing to marry at all. More benefits are being seen doing things non-traditional ways.
Most persons eventually realize, through their experiences, research, or input from conversing with many varying others, that there are somewhat equal benefits and negatives of being alone verses being in a relationship of any sorts. Not a huge difference. It is up to each of us to proceed in that direction we want, but our attitudes, efforts can directly or indirectly open and close doors for us too.
But, I understand loneliness as I have been there, and I was miserable in ways then, and thought everyone had it better. Eventually, after being on the verge of self destruction, I changed gears and focused on bettering my health and mindset and redirecting my energies, and not letting others and events control my daily moods or efforts. I focused on my efforts, not immediate results.
Think of doing that as not only being your best, but giving you more opportunities in life. This does not mean those other opportunities will be better. It just means you'll be able to make better decisions, when you are feeling less depressed, less anxious and when you are more positive. Whether you like my or others' advice or not, I am not worried about that. You are free to ignore anyone's advice.
A final example I would like to give: Let's say I was obese my entire life (which I was never). Would I want support from other lifelong overweight persons? Absolutely! But, would I want their advice how to lose weight? Not really. I would want to first get more advice from one who had lost all that weight, and then get advice from those who were able to maintain a healthy weight. Apply this info now, to lifelong singles verses couples.
The last advice, I would want was from someone who had the exact situation as I, if that other refused or were unable to alter their ways, and if I wanted to have changes in my life. The first thing I would want was to get advice from someone thinking more clearly and who had been there, but who found answers for them to get their needs met.
Each of us are different, yes, so that is why different feedback helps. While it can be distressing and annoying hearing from and seeing other couples when we never experienced those things, sometimes we need to see that until we get so frustrated we need to act in a better way to achieve that, and this requires input from those others, if we really want that.
Yes, that may be more temporary anxiety on your part, by getting input from others you dislike too, but if you are fair, open minded and see they care and want to help, I hope that would help ease your mind some. Or if you need medication to make your thinking clearer or mood better, or therapy to changed negative ingrained ways, as some things can be changed or energies redirected whether others want to admit such or not, then please try that. I am for all types of help.
In the end, its your choice who you talk to, listen to or not, and who you are angry with or not. But, we all will be held accountable though in life for our decisions, and few persons will empathize with our conditions and any bad upbringing, if they feel we keep rejecting others' well intentions and help, and if we seem not objective, or if wanting to categorize negatively. Again, this post was well intentioned, and even if you get bothered by it, maybe it'll help another understand another perspective.
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