ive loved with my boyfriend for 7 months. We met online 12 years ago, when we were 13-14. Two years ago is when we got into an online relationship and after those two years we took the plunge and I moved to New Jersey to be with him.
I didn't know until I moved in that he has Aspergers. I'm bipolar, so I didn't judge. I just figured it was something new I had to learn to adapt too.
Every couple of months he would have this short meltdowns. He would stop being affectionate and would tell me he felt empty and felt nothing for me. I visited him once last spring, and we broke up briefly because of a situation like this. He told me he wasn't attracted to me, we broke up, I went back home and we didn't talk for a month. After that month, he started texting me videos of the apartment that I had found for us. He had rented it and was telling me how he wanted me there. I ignored him because I was too hurt. For a week he nonstop texted, sent videos, and even emailed me. I eventually caved and called him. I let him have it and told him it was not okay the things he did. He explained he was wrong and was extremely remorseful. So two weeks later he drove 15 hours to come pick me up. Everything was really good.
Then I noticed these meltdowns every couple of months. They were hard at first, but then when they happened I would just go in another room and entertain myself. Until the meltdown we're on now.
For the past almost two weeks, he has been angry and shut down. We were having a really good day, playing WoW, and out of no where he told me he felt empty. I left him alone for a couple of days, I figured it was onset from work stress because his contract with work is about to be up and he doesn't know where we'all be relocated next and he really hates his job. The weekend comes around and he's acting better. He's holding my hand, cuddling wth me, asking me to play games with him or persisting I watch movies with him.
We get to yesterday, his mood was declining throughout the week but he didn't acknowledge it. So it's Wednesday and he is leaving for work. He was throwing a huge fit about something and being completely belligerent about something so I told him not to come home until he adjusted his attitude. Well e didn't come home until midnight, and when he did he refused to tell me where he was.
Eventually he told me he was at his friends, and he continued saying "I did something mean and I regretted saying it after I said it but I don't regret it now." So I inquired what he meant. And he told me that he told his friends that he didn't think I was attractive. He wouldn't say anything more than that. I tried to reason with him and tell him this is just his Aspergers, because we go through this every couple of months and it's a pattern. I also tried to convince him therapy might be beneficial and he said "there is nothing that will make this emptiness go away".
We eventually went to bed, I slept on the couch. He woke up in the morning and acted normalish, laying on the couch with me watching tv until he left for work.
I know you can't speak for him, but is this normal behavior for some with Aspergers? I'm trying so hard to understand but no one can give me any answers. I would appreciate any response.
