How did you know?

[inkfingers]

I was working a part-time job at a garden center. I was supposed to water plants, help customers, etc... One afternoon, I was working, and I felt very tired. I was so exhausted I couldn't function or work productively. My brain had been over-stimulated for too long, and I was paying the price. So I ended up quitting, because I could not be a reliable worker any more. I kept on having to go home early because of my overwhelming exhaustion (aka autistic burnout).

 

[Edward764]

My two greatest concerns when going into new jobs were the fears of being incompetent and not being able to learn the details of the job, and/or having to work with someone that had a bad atmosphere, or that did not seem very patient, tolerant or friendly.
My scholastic life, as discussed to a small degree in three of my threads in the education forum, was nothing short of 24 years of bizarre aggravation, where I felt I had developed no knowledge, talents, or skills at all.
I am one of the 10% of the population that has no gifts, so I know that I had better work extra hard to moderately succeed at anything.

Due to my extreme sensitivity to peoples and places atmospheres, it takes me less than five minutes to know whether I am going to be able to function in a particular environment. I had three jobs where I knew almost immediately I would not return, and stayed for one day. The first job I left after one day was due to the atmosphere of my main co-worker, and the details of the job itself.


I had actually worked in this field for seven years, and was mostly successful, but I was lucky to be around great people who were not fully exposed to my incompetence; I worked at 30 locations, so I was fortunate not to be in any one location often enough for my true incompetence to show.
There were two co-workers at one location that could see through me and thought of me as a moron. They needed things done their own way, and I was not competent enough to follow their instructions. They sometimes became angry with me. Fortunately, 95% of the managers at the other locations were fine people and not as fussy, so I survived there for five years before they went out of business.

When I got a job in in the same field but in only one location, I knew immediately I would not come back.
There was another temp job I had where where I was not coordinated or fast enough to keep up, so I left in after one day. They would not have kept me long anyway.
For the last 21 years, I have had a low paying job (21-24,000 per year) that allows me to go to about 60 locations. I have been banned by four of them, but I do not have any long term responsibility, so I have lasted all this time.
Although I am a bizarre freak, I am a decent communicator, and am able to create the illusion of normalcy.
If I ever sought out services for autism to aide in any needed job search, any counselor would be baffled, and might not take my needs seriously, because I appear so well adjusted. I think most of my co-workers would be shocked if they knew I was 61 years old and have never been out on a date.

For those who struggle in their ability to succeed in employment, I would consider researching nomadic jobs that do not require one to stay in any one place too long. This eases the stress of long term responsibility, and anyone breathing down your neck for too long. Nomadic jobs have enabled me to survive in the labor force.

 

[tducey]

I usually work contract jobs. You work so long then it's over so I really don't get burned out with work. That presents other issues as you have to worry about finding work when your unemployment runs out.

 

[Shamar]

One of my favourite all time jobs was teaching western riding and looking after the needs of all the horses. It was knowing and working with the horses, that was one of the most enjoyable jobs of my life. If I ever returned to another job, it would be something like that.

Lucky you. It seems to me working with horses would be much better than working with people.

 

[Shamar]

Also, age related discrimination is supposed to be illegal under the 2010 Equality Act, but as most people know I've been saying for years that the EA has no teeth.

Supposedly the same in the States. I gave up when several times I had essentially the following conversation at interviews, after hearing things like "overqualified," "not challenging for you," "you will probably leave soon for a better job," "We would have to pay you too much.":

"Do you have any questions for me?"
"Yes, why is getting more than you pay for a bad thing?"
"Getting more than you pay for is never a bad thing."
"You are offering a certain amount of money for a certain amount of skills and experience. By hiring me you would be getting far more skills and experience for the same amount of money. You would be getting more than you pay for."
" Umm, umm, umm, umm."

You never heard such weasling, desperate to find an excuse without using the words "Too old." The interview ended at that point.

 

[Judge]

Those are the 2 main reasons I can't get a job either, that and the fact 99% of my customer facing work is in Charity shops, which according to some people doesn't translate to real retail experience, falsehood! It's serving customers on a working till, what more do they want?

I suspect what they want most of all has little to do with you personally, and everything to do with someone else you are competing with. Someone who has a steady, paid employment record. Those who may have a pattern of increased wages which reflect merit on the job. Maybe even promotions with other job titles.

The job itself you can do. Agreed, working in retail as a checker in one job is no different than another. However the likelihood of you competing with others who can demonstrate merit on the job is much higher compared with an unlikely job applicant who is middle-aged, disabled and can cite only unpaid volunteer work. Which inevitably invites the question of "why" on the part of whoever is interviewing you. A dynamic you're going to face over and over again as long as you attempt to look for work in the mainstream.

I believe that @Autistamatic is right about seeking to get job counseling through an agency that is adept at placement of autistic job applicants. It may be your best bet in such a competitive job market. Yes, the job may well be menial in nature. I get that. However if you can physically do it, hang onto it for at least a year. Show everyone that you can do the job with a paid wage. At that point you can at least partially compete with all those applicants who have an edge on you presently. Otherwise expect other nameless job applicants to continue to get that job you want. Not so much from a perspective of discrimination, but far more likely from competition alone.

You need an edge too. And dealing with one of those placement operations might just allow you to get your foot in the door of a more understanding employer. Seriously, give it some thought. Maybe @Autistamatic can give you more pointers about this approach as well.

 

[TempeFan]

I also had two jobs and no opportunity for a livable wage. Due to racism, ageism, sexism and my being autistic, the only job available to me paid only 1/4 of legal minimum wage and that was barely enough to cover job expenses to get to and from work. Due to hate crime and medical malpractice, my husband was permenantly forced onto disabilty, and we couldn't afford to hire someone else to take care of him. The doctors gave him 3 years to live without proper care and that was 5 years ago. It was just plain nuts to continue providing slave labor for an abusive employer when I was needed at home.

 

[Crossbreed]

@LadyBird84 , I had plenty of STEM jobs where I was well-matched for the duties (and liked them). It was always the social dynamics that thwarted advancement and/or got me fired. It also sabotaged my interviews in the current buyer's-market economy.

Keep making an effort to work.* If you are in the USA, contact a disability lawyer with your diagnosis. Typically, they do not charge you unless they win benefits for you. (That fee was negligible in my case.) Mine said that the case gets easier to win, once you are 50.

*An unsteady work history helps them to make their case. (And you may find a stable niche along the way.)

 

[LadyBird84]

Keep making an effort to work.* If you are in the USA, contact a disability lawyer with your diagnosis. Typically, they do not charge you unless they win benefits for you. (That fee was negligible in my case.) Mine said that the case gets easier to win, once you are 50.

*An unsteady work history helps them to make their case. (And you may find a stable niche along the way.)

I've been working here for over three years and I'm just now getting to this breaking point. (And in similar places for ten.) Up until this point the hours I worked were 'temporary' but now that they're not, thinking about doing this basically forever makes me want to hide under the bed and never come out.
I'm in Europe. I probably should have added that I qualify for benefits. I just make too much money ATM to receive them but if I were to cut hours or quit my job they would appear again. I hope I can find a job in the future that will be better suited for me. This whole thing is making me feel very lazy.

 

[Judge]

(It's probably not directed at me, is it?)

Nope...I was addressing Mr Allen.

 

[Mathalamus]

i have figured out that i would never work a job, or want to work a job, the instant i quit school due to stress. frankly, i am not risking my psyche for paltry amounts of (taxable) income. and, if school was too stressful, work, being *extremely* unforgiving, would be many times more stressful. i deserve better out of life than constant stress, so i dont work.

 

[Adolonius Ganz]

I have difficulties myself to give an answer to this question. Somehow I'm not able to decode certain emotions and stress levels as such that they could prevent me from keep going until I end up in a depression. I often like to fulfill my duty and so I'm bound legally to a job or agreement. This days I'm increasing my resting time when I'm starting to have insomnia, to much obsessive thoughts (other people are good indicators for such by giving me unnerved feedbacks, because I'm rather a talker), gastrointestinal problems and chaotic mental states in the morning. I can't always reduce my work time (1 day a week as an assembler), so I reduce other activities first. If the difficulties continues and I'm having problems concentrating at work and/or I start smoking just to have a reason to make breaks, then I know mostly that I should change something at work. Around this time my social difficulties increase dramatically and I'm either loosing my job or they are degrading my position step by step. There was not a single employer I worked for which was able to deal with my difficulties. There are not many work related possibilities for autistic people in Switzerland. To be fair I add: neither for employees nor for employers. It's like a topic unknown. Then I mostly thought: "Why didn't I quit myself when the gastrointestinal problems started?" I guess that's the time I should know. I hope this answer helps you.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

I knew I needed to quit the particular jobs I was in when they got to the point where I felt like throwing up every morning from anxiety about them. The fact that it kept happening in each job I had as an adult made me afraid that was just what working was like, and that I'd never be able to not be miserable. I finally quit one a couple of years ago with no other source of income, no savings left, nowhere to live (I thought), and being certain that no one would ever hire me for another job because I had left a teaching job two months into the school year. My parents were furious, but I could not continue to live like that. Fortunately, my parents did let me come live with them, and while I was there I was able to recover and try to figure out what I actually wanted to do with my life. I ultimately found speech language pathology, which unfortunately required three more years of school. However, after researching it extensively and spending the rest of the school year working as a special education paraprofessional, I was confident enough that this was the right choice for me that it was worth getting student loans and living with relatives for three years. Fortunately, my grandma lives close enough to a university with a good SLP program that I was able to live with her. I'm still in my program now but I've already started working with clients, and I really like it. I've even found someone at my university who knows a lot about adults on the spectrum who is working with me to develop better self-advocacy skills and who will help me interview for better jobs, which was part of why I kept ending up in miserable jobs and being unable to do anything about them.

I never would have been able to do any of this while I was using all of my energy surviving those miserable jobs. It might be that there's a job that's better suited to you that you could find if you had the time and energy to investigate it, or there might be ways to modify your current job that you don't have the energy to see right now. If you're in a position to not work as much, you might consider using that time to recover and investigate ways to still work like you want to without endangering your physical or mental health. I thought it was impossible for me, but it wasn't. Alternatively, you might find other, non-job-related things you can do that you find valuable.

 

[LadyBird84]

Somehow I'm not able to decode certain emotions and stress levels as such that they could prevent me from keep going until I end up in a depression.

I'm the same. My husband had to tell me I can't go on like this and after having thought about it for a couple of days I realized he has a point.. But had he not told me I probably would have gone on for years feeling progressively worse.

 

[china autie]

Accident. An accident put me out of work for over a decade.

When I decided to go back to work, I looked for stuff I thought I could handle. And I found a job. I work nights by myself. The agency is very accommodating and my boss is wonderful.

 

[LadyBird84]

I want to thank everyone for your replies. They have made me think and helped me not feel so alone and maybe a little less judgemental towards myself.

I asked my manager for fewer hours today. She said she'd look into it, so the ball is rolling.

 

[Edward764]

I knew I needed to quit the particular jobs I was in when they got to the point where I felt like throwing up every morning from anxiety about them. The fact that it kept happening in each job I had as an adult made me afraid that was just what working was like, and that I'd never be able to not be miserable. I finally quit one a couple of years ago with no other source of income, no savings left, nowhere to live (I thought), and being certain that no one would ever hire me for another job because I had left a teaching job two months into the school year. My parents were furious, but I could not continue to live like that. Fortunately, my parents did let me come live with them, and while I was there I was able to recover and try to figure out what I actually wanted to do with my life. I ultimately found speech language pathology, which unfortunately required three more years of school. However, after researching it extensively and spending the rest of the school year working as a special education paraprofessional, I was confident enough that this was the right choice for me that it was worth getting student loans and living with relatives for three years. Fortunately, my grandma lives close enough to a university with a good SLP program that I was able to live with her. I'm still in my program now but I've already started working with clients, and I really like it. I've even found someone at my university who knows a lot about adults on the spectrum who is working with me to develop better self-advocacy skills and who will help me interview for better jobs, which was part of why I kept ending up in miserable jobs and being unable to do anything about them.

I never would have been able to do any of this while I was using all of my energy surviving those miserable jobs. It might be that there's a job that's better suited to you that you could find if you had the time and energy to investigate it, or there might be ways to modify your current job that you don't have the energy to see right now. If you're in a position to not work as much, you might consider using that time to recover and investigate ways to still work like you want to without endangering your physical or mental health. I thought it was impossible for me, but it wasn't. Alternatively, you might find other, non-job-related things you can do that you find valuable.

Goof for you. It is likely you have made a great choice.
If I could go back in time forty or more years, I would have have entered an SLP program.
The University I attended did not offer it, so I never considered it.
I did myself a lot of damage stubbornly trying to satisfy my concept of satisfaction in a STEM field, which I was never able to do.
It is too bad I chose my local university which was STEM oriented, where I developed an inferiority complex since over 70% of the student body was STEM. Had I gone to a more general university where probably 25% of the students were STEM, I might never had been obsessed with trying to succeed in a STEM field, where I did not belong.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

Goof for you. It is likely you have made a great choice.
If I could go back in time forty or more years, I would have have entered an SLP program.
The University I attended did not offer it, so I never considered it.
I did myself a lot of damage stubbornly trying to satisfy my concept of satisfaction in a STEM field, which I was never able to do.
It is too bad I chose my local university which was STEM oriented, where I developed an inferiority complex since over 70% of the student body was STEM. Had I gone to a more general university where probably 25% of the students were STEM, I might never had been obsessed with trying to succeed in a STEM field, where I did not belong.

Yeah, my first degree was in chemistry, and I didn't belong there either. I'm actually glad that I ended up in an unhealthy research group in grad school, because if chemistry grad school hadn't been terrible I probably would have stayed in that field forever and spent my life in a job I didn't like and wasn't good at, all because that's what I put on a scholarship application in high school. It didn't seem like a good thing at the time, but it did work out for the best.

 

[Edward764]

Yeah, my first degree was in chemistry, and I didn't belong there either. I'm actually glad that I ended up in an unhealthy research group in grad school, because if chemistry grad school hadn't been terrible I probably would have stayed in that field forever and spent my life in a job I didn't like and wasn't good at, all because that's what I put on a scholarship application in high school. It didn't seem like a good thing at the time, but it did work out for the best.

With a minimum IQ of 120, you have lots of options. You might be challenged with SLP research to get the most out of your great mind, in addition to working with clients.
I dropped organic chemistry halfway through the first quarter for reasons discussed in my "borrowed notes" thread.

 

[LadyBird84]

Update: I quit my job just now. I know I'll have benefits until the end of the year at least so I plan to use that time to find something more suitable.
(I am so scared.)