How Did You React To Being Diagnosed?

[Warwick C]

Your more than a some body Kassie your an Aspie.

 

[Tarragon]

Your more than a some body Kassie your an Aspie.

I second that! Being an aspie has massive plus points. Its not our fault that other people are not able to recognise this fact.

 

[KassieMac]

I second that! Being an aspie has massive plus points. Its not our fault that other people are not able to recognise this fact.

So, so, SOOOO TRUE! I've never understood (& often resisted) people expecting me to try to be more like everyone around me. They waste time on frivolous nonsense, having the same meaningless repetitive conversations over & over (like when they ask "How are you?" but get pissed if you answer truthfully or don't give one of their 'acceptable' answers). We are intelligent, efficient, productive, loyal, and honest. We have the ability to see things clearly and find ways to solve the problems they create. I used to think they consciously refused to listen to me just to be mean (and it infuriated me) ... but now that I see that they're actually wired differently I see *them* as having a disability. They are literally incapable of understanding logic or common sense, and have such poor attention I've often wondered how certain people manage to cross the street without being run over (I'm not even joking, sad but true). The only reason we're labeled as disabled instead of them is because they're in the majority, and have deceived their way into positions of power and authority. Ugh.

 

[dudeman]

Careful, Kassie. Your comments sound a little too close to anti-NT bigotry. That's a bad thing. I understand being frustrated, but as hard as it is, we have to be the bigger people and not give in to hate. Acting like we're superior to them (which we're not by the way) does nothing to help our cause and only contributes to the stereotype of Aspies using their condition as an excuse to act like a jerk. Is that what you want?

 

[KassieMac]

Sorry for the rant, I stand corrected. When I find someone that hears me, I tend to go a little overboard at first. It will calm down on its own with time, but until then I'll do my best to be more careful & considerate. You're right, it's best to model compassion to fight the stereotype instead of reinforcing negative perceptions. Thanks Dudeman!

 

[Tarragon]

Careful, Kassie. Your comments sound a little too close to anti-NT bigotry. That's a bad thing. I understand being frustrated, but as hard as it is, we have to be the bigger people and not give in to hate. Acting like we're superior to them (which we're not by the way) does nothing to help our cause and only contributes to the stereotype of Aspies using their condition as an excuse to act like a jerk. Is that what you want?

I think it wasn't quite like that - it's good to realise we are special - just as special as NT's assume they are. So, technically we are (aspie and nt) both special. The difference is that aspies tend to be beaten down in a world of NT's to think they are not. it doesn't do any harm to get this way of thinking out of our heads. It's not thinking we are better than anyone, it's us realising we are valid and have legitimacy

 

[KassieMac]

I think it wasn't quite like that - it's good to realise we are special - just as special as NT's assume they are. So, technically we are (aspie and nt) both special. The difference is that aspies tend to be beaten down in a world of NT's to think they are not. it doesn't do any harm to get this way of thinking out of our heads. It's not thinking we are better than anyone, it's us realising we are valid and have legitimacy

Thanks, but re-reading it I can see that I was moving towards the type of bashing & sweeping generalizations that have hurt us so deeply. I'm trying not to be so angry (I always thought this was intentional) but instead a disability on their part … and as such, they deserve compassion just like everyone does. And regarding NTs also having their strengths, somewhere on one of these threads I've posted an analogy to fish & birds. I recognize they may be excellent swimmers, but I will no longer let them stop me from flying. Fair enough?

 

[Warwick C]

I am pleased Kassie that you are seeing the positives to being an aspie now and we all are individuals to go with that.

 

[KassieMac]

I am pleased Kassie that you are seeing the positives to being an aspie now and we all are individuals to go with that.

Thanks! I've always tried to do my best, work hard, and know right from wrong. When people ridiculed or blamed me, I used to try to explain my stance, but no one would listen. It's nice to finally chat with peeps that understand, appreciate my efforts, and also work hard to do their best … even in the face of peer pressure & resistance.

 

[Judge]

It's nice to finally chat with peeps that understand, appreciate my efforts, and also work hard to do their best … even in the face of peer pressure & resistance.

Yes...it's amazing to connect with others here and be able to see things as they really are. Neurotypical peer pressure is the worst. A dynamic I didn't even recognize only a short time ago. People expecting- even demanding for us to behave in a way which is contrary to our nature in ways we might not be able to even comply with.

Such things may be second nature to them, but might be completely alien to us.

 

[mama_lotus]

Ugh, I am still coming to grips with it. I was researching what AS looks like in females for one of my students and was stunned to read about Asperger's in depth (although it's not even a diagnosis anymore, so I don't know where that leaves me.)

I have been diagnosed as many things in my almost 35 years on this planet and not one has fit as much as Asperger's. So it's been a week and I've read 3 books and about a dozen articles about it, and immersed myself here, and, I don't know. It all makes so much sense to me. And to my husband. But I have spent my *entire* life masquerading as a typical NT (I have even kept my diagnosed mood disorder hidden, for goodness sakes) so this is a tough pill to swallow.

I am self-diagnosed, and from what I have researched, will remain so until I see a very compelling reason to not.

This, of course, drives me crazy, as I want outside validation, but when Asperger's isn't even a diagnosis anymore, and adult women aren't a common subject of the assessments, I am guessing it would be a battle I don't have it in me to fight.

I don't want this. At least when I thought I was bipolar I could medicate it away. Being an Aspie, however much I want to romanticize it, means I will never know how to make friends like everyone else. I am always going to stumble over my words and obsess over weird stuff and be the person in the room who knows more than everyone else in almost every area. And nobody *likes* that. It makes me sad, I guess.

When I was 9 I cried to my mom about this little girl I was friends with at school and said I wanted to be just like her. My mom said "well, how is she?" She didn't understand why I was so upset. The word I used? Simple. And all my life I've chosen people to be around who are just uncomplicated and don't overthink things and slide into social situations easily and I've wanted to be like them. That was my word for those people - simple.

I will never be simple. I guess I knew that, deep down.

I am so glad I found this community. There are others just like me. There are others who understand me.

So, to put it succinctly (oh, it's too late for that?), it's a total mind f*ck and I haven't accepted it yet. My husband, however, has been amazing and I probably don't deserve him.

 

[Joshua717]

I'm sorry to hear that kassie ! I really am , keep your head up and you got friends here ! Don't hesitate to talk when you need someone to talk to we're here to support you

 

[Joshua717]

I know that I'm only 14 and an apsis myself but I would try to make friends here cause I seem to get along pretty well with adults , most of my friends are adults


Sent from my iPhone using AspiesCentral.com

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

I was diagnosed at age 4 so I don't recall.

 

[Effy]

I didn't find out I had it until I was in college, but I was relieved upon learning because I'd researched it and wondered, and I'd noticed there were so many things my friends were doing that I, for some reason, couldn't do/didn't know how to do/etc. I was relieved, because it meant I wasn't going completely crazy and that others like me existed.

 

[StephF]

My diagnosis was a relief, it explained so much about me and why I am who I am and do what I do.

 

[rainbow]

I was a bit upset however for me there was no point wallowing in the diagnosis since it can not be changed, all I could do was look forward. At least it answered some of quirks or reasons as to why I was the way I was when I was younger, I was in my early 20's at the time. It sucks for my family because there was no support for them as they raised me.

 

[square_peg]

Hey ya'll.. I'm new to this forum. Received my 2nd opinion diagnosis a few weeks ago after receiving my first one last year.

Was difficult to swallow at first but this was mainly because I'd been diagnosed with a myriad of other things before... Anxiety, depression, OCD, an eating disorder, etc etc. So I was more like 'what makes this any different to the others? Why should I believe this over the others? What will the next diagnosis be?'. But after sitting with it for a bit, if definitely makes sense and helps explain a lot.

I no longer feel like I need to try and force myself to 'fit' into society. I can just be me and that's that! Happy days!

 

[Nitro]

Hey ya'll.. I'm new to this forum. Received my 2nd opinion diagnosis a few weeks ago after receiving my first one last year.

Was difficult to swallow at first but this was mainly because I'd been diagnosed with a myriad of other things before... Anxiety, depression, OCD, an eating disorder, etc etc. So I was more like 'what makes this any different to the others? Why should I believe this over the others? What will the next diagnosis be?'. But after sitting with it for a bit, if definitely makes sense and helps explain a lot.

I no longer feel like I need to try and force myself to 'fit' into society. I can just be me and that's that! Happy days!

The deeper I dig into the spectrum,I see patterns of professionals treating symptoms and not causes

I think it is cool when someone gets some proper answers... Welcome to the AC Jungle

 

[square_peg]

The deeper I dig into the spectrum,I see patterns of professionals treating symptoms and not causes

I think it is cool when someone gets some proper answers... Welcome to the AC Jungle

Yes - agreed. I ended up seeing someone here in Aus who specialises in all things ASD and does a lot of work with Adults on the spectrum. She said the same thing; that an adult ASD diagnosis often comes after a number of other diagnosis' which is very unfortunate but just a result of them not knowing a lot about it when my generation and older were kids.

Which ok, I get... But not sure there is a reasonable explanation for all those 'professionals' I saw to miss it. The Psychologist who just diagnosed me, who specialises it in, said it was a very easy diagnosis to make. E.g it was obvious I was on the spectrum.