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How do all you cope with long periods of isolation?

Chimorin

Chimorin

Looking for answers.
Of course most of us here are
considered ‘introverted’ (whether that be how we just are or forced to due to anxiety reasons, I suppose I’m a bit of both), and for the majority of my life I have enjoyed being alone as I don’t have to bother masking to people, but I’ve now gone a year without any form of social contact thanks to falling out of all my previous peer groups and it’s really starting to catch up to me. Is there at least any way to mitigate those feelings in the meantime? I’m too burnt out to speak with people but yet I crave connections with people again, it’s a vicious cycle I’ve been stuck in for a while.

Thank you for taking time to read this whoever you are.
 
Mostly perseverance.

Reminding myself that I have thrived on solitude more than companionship. And that my OCD can make it a challenge for much of anyone to coexist with me in close quarters.

And trying to take some comfort in having everything within my own personal environment on my own terms, with no particular compromises. Compromises were seemingly the greatest challenges in my failed relationships. I just came to painfully realize years ago at the age of 49 that I likely would not make a suitable partner for most people.

I enjoy companionship on occasion. Yet I cannot go without solitude for very long under any circumstances. For me it simply boils down to who- and what I am.

I've lived in a near-state of isolation since 2006. Much easier facilitated in having retired.
 
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Your age plays a big role in this, having a social life is incredibly important to young adults but that becomes less important as we get older.
 
Judge said:
Mostly perseverance.

Reminding myself that I have thrived on solitude more than companionship.

And trying to take some comfort in having everything within my own personal environment on my own terms, with no particular compromises. Compromises were seemingly the greatest challenges in my failed relationships.

I've lived in a near-state of isolation since 2006. Much easier facilitated in having retired.
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You’ve been isolated for as long as I’ve been alive, fair play. I suppose to give context in my case, as you know I’m young, and of course most of all I’ve known in life was being at school. Towards the end of it I started to pick up masking really well and I actually got myself pretty high in terms of the social hierarchy (which I know is ********, but most people sadly adhere to it), and I won’t lie, the validation felt great despite how empty the connections were as I was never truly me (and people thought of me as ‘weird’ when they caught me not masking), especially since I got severely bullied growing up (punched, kicked, etc.), so it was nice getting the dopamine hit. Since I burnt out though, I’m unable to mask like I used to anymore and I imploded (a relationship failing on me didn’t help either) so it’s quite a change of pace to how it was. I’m glad I can be me now, it’s just very lonely and hard getting used to.
 
Chimorin said:
I suppose to give context in my case, as you know I’m young, and of course most of all I’ve known in life was being at school. Towards the end of it I started to pick up masking really well and I actually got myself pretty high in terms of the social hierarchy (which I know is ********, but most people sadly adhere to it), and I won’t lie, the validation felt great despite how empty the connections were as I was never truly me (and people thought of me as ‘weird’ when they caught me not masking), especially since I got severely bullied growing up (punched, kicked, etc.), so it was nice getting the dopamine hit. Since I burnt out though, I’m unable to mask like I used to anymore and I imploded (a relationship failing on me didn’t help either) so it’s quite a change of pace to how it was. I’m glad I can be me now, it’s just very lonely and hard getting used to.
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Sounds all too familiar. I can only point out the obvious in your observations.

-That you are not alone.
 
My memories of being your age are that of an emotional rollercoaster ride that sort of started to calm down a bit when I got in to my 20s. So don't panic just yet, life does get easier. :)
 
Outdated said:
My memories of being your age are that of an emotional rollercoaster ride that sort of started to calm down a bit when I got in to my 20s. So don't panic just yet, life does get easier. :)
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I get you. Time heals wounds I guess, and of course I’ve got a long time left to go to sort things out. Got to go with the flow, eh?
 
You will need to start socialising again, it's one of those skills that diminishes with lack of use so the longer you leave it the harder it will be. It's important skills that you'll need to keep honed if you want to be able to get a good job, etc.

Once you get to my age you can afford to tell people what you really think. :D
 
Outdated said:
You will need to start socialising again, it's one of those skills that diminishes with lack of use so the longer you leave it the harder it will be. It's important skills that you'll need to keep honed if you want to be able to get a good job, etc.

Once you get to my age you can afford to tell people what you really think. :D
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Haha, yeah, true. I’m still reasonably socially active I guess, I still do boxing along with working out, all be it stressful I know it’s good for me. Hopefully I can go back into employment again and slog it out for a bit (at least in a job which doesn’t throw to much stuff at you, slaving away in a busy restaurant was not good for my brain whilst trying to mask, haha). I’m at more of peace these days though, that is something of value.
 
Chimorin said:
Of course most of us here are
considered ‘introverted’ (whether that be how we just are or forced to due to anxiety reasons, I suppose I’m a bit of both), and for the majority of my life I have enjoyed being alone as I don’t have to bother masking to people, but I’ve now gone a year without any form of social contact thanks to falling out of all my previous peer groups and it’s really starting to catch up to me. Is there at least any way to mitigate those feelings in the meantime? I’m too burnt out to speak with people but yet I crave connections with people again, it’s a vicious cycle I’ve been stuck in for a while.

Thank you for taking time to read this whoever you are.
Click to expand...

Fight, I fight

The more angry I feel, the more driven I feel. I find motivation in everything and I treat everything like a competition

I don’t have interest in socializing. I barely go out these days
 
Chimorin said:
Haha, yeah, true. I’m still reasonably socially active I guess, I still do boxing along with working out, all be it stressful I know it’s good for me. Hopefully I can go back into employment again and slog it out for a bit (at least in a job which doesn’t throw to much stuff at you, slaving away in a busy restaurant was not good for my brain whilst trying to mask, haha). I’m at more of peace these days though, that is something of value.
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You just have to learn how to set boundaries so that you can give yourself the breathing space you need. Get friends used to the idea of only catching up on certain nights and that you're not going to be there for them 24/7.
 
KevinMao133 said:
Fight, I fight

The more angry I feel, the more driven I feel. I find motivation in everything and I treat everything like a competition

I don’t have interest in socializing. I barely go out these days
Click to expand...
I suppose I used to be like that, but it lead to me being quite destructive and just made me feel more nihilistic. I learnt to make peace with the past and this world and at least try my best to enjoy what is a rare gift of consciousness. I’ve only got one brain, might as well not make it my prison eh?
 
Outdated said:
You just have to learn how to set boundaries so that you can give yourself the breathing space you need. Get friends used to the idea of only catching up on certain nights and that you're not going to be there for them 24/7.
Click to expand...
At the very least I’ve got the one person who will understand me fully inside and out for the rest of my life, and that person is me. One of the good things about this isolation is learning to be my own best friend, hating yourself will only lead to all mannerisms of negative consequences, something we all here have experienced the hard way.
 
Outdated said:
That's an important lesson some people never learn. Good on you.
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Thank you. We don’t chose our cards given in life, but at least I can try my best to play to get a good deck of them despite the bad hand we got dealt, it’s all you can do I suppose. Accepting reality is a hard thing to do, but a very liberating decision once you do so, at least for me.
 
Chimorin said:
I suppose I used to be like that, but it lead to me being quite destructive and just made me feel more nihilistic. I learnt to make peace with the past and this world and at least try my best to enjoy what is a rare gift of consciousness. I’ve only got one brain, might as well not make it my prison eh?
Click to expand...

Yeah

I have a hard time balancing different types of emotions

Though I’m not destructive, I used to be
 
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