"If we were animals... it wouldn't matter other than who carries the offspring."
We
are animals. We operate with a brain we largely share with the great apes. Sure, we've been selected over time to have a better CPU and more RAM but that old ROM is still there. It looks like the first brains came online about a half billion years ago. Ever since then, new layers were laid over the old to handle new functions. Under the cerebrum, there is the cerebellum and the limbic system. Snuggled under that is the amygdala. Below that, the medulla. Nothing has been replaced and nothing has been lost. The old layers still handle the same functions they always have. They didn't go away, they didn't go inactive,
they interfaced.
"So if you were born on an island with nobody around... would you still be an aspie?"
Of course, I would. (Though with nobody around I might not survive very long.) Autism is
biologically defined. There are natural consequences to it, independent of society. Then society creates additional artificial consequences for a natural state.
The notion that women and men are only different because of culture and that biology has no impact on the mind is bizarre. Only someone dedicated to a religion or ideology beyond rational thought would subscribe to that. That's an article of faith and nothing that has any scientific validity. Other, equally dogmatic people insist that all men ought to be this and all women must be that or they have a disorder. Equally obnoxious.
Bell curves with a lot of overlap is a better description of how men and women would express most non-reproductive traits.
I have a blog post on the masculinity trope in anime here:
Masculine: Biology and the Trope - Owls Blog Tour | This is my place.