How Normal Are You?

[Cyanide Lollipop]

For someone who was diagnosed with classic autism at a young age, I have yet to be called out on it...yet.

The average person considers autism to be associated with mental retardation.

 

[Val2]

I feel like I can pull off normalcy pretty well but I only have 2 friends, so maybe that's not saying much. Only one of them knows I can be weird, the other one I put a front on when I'm with her. Otherwise, my college soccer team thought I was nice and friendly but no one pursued a friendship with me and I was never part of a clique, so I guess I didn't come off "normal" enough or "fun" enough with them. But if I meet you briefly, I can give you the impression that I'm normal. I don't have meltdowns in public (unless I'm at ikea because it's too many people and I can feel the floors shake), I'm friendly and I'm always smiling, but this is a nervous front. At home with my family I'm not "normal" though.

 

[WildCat]

The average person considers autism to be associated with mental retardation.

True, yeah, but there have been studies conducted on people with autism that are starting to disprove that theory. I was never, nor could I be, diagnosed with mental retardation - average to above average intelligence which may have helped me in a way to blend in and appear "normal", and there are plenty of accounts of people more severely affected by autism than myself who are also (go figure) of average or better intelligence and using alternate communication to speak up for theirselves and dispel that crock of nonsense. I'm not saying that all people with autism will be able to communicate their intelligence whichever way suits them best, since of course there is some co-morbidity due to the nature of our disorders, but it's not as common as the average person would lead you to believe.

 

[King_Oni]

True, yeah, but there have been studies conducted on people with autism that are starting to disprove that theory. I was never, nor could I be, diagnosed with mental retardation - average to above average intelligence which may have helped me in a way to blend in and appear "normal", and there are plenty of accounts of people more severely affected by autism than myself who are also (go figure) of average or better intelligence and using alternate communication to speak up for theirselves and dispel that crock of nonsense. I'm not saying that all people with autism will be able to communicate their intelligence whichever way suits them best, since of course there is some co-morbidity due to the nature of our disorders, but it's not as common as the average person would lead you to believe.

I don't think it's neccesarily that there needs to be a study about it. It's what Cyanide lollipop said average person... I don't think a therapist will call someone with autism as suffering from retardation. It's the people that don't have a clue what's going on that think autism is like retardation. And they most likely don't care what a study says... much like they don't care about the majority of facts based on the arguments and assumptions I had with "the average person" in the past.

So if anything, there needs to be a change in mentality of these people to not call something "retarded" if they don't exactly know what the word actually signifies.

 

[Soup]

Very true, King_Oni. Some people have a mindset or narrative that is extremely ill informed & reductionist. Anyone who is not 'normal' (meaning just like or similar to THEM) is ________________ (a retard, a nutter, a weirdo, dangerous...). These people are comfortable with their smug world-view that places them square in the center as a paragon of normality & anyone else on the periphery. There's no reasoning with such a person: like with a religious fanatic, they BELIEVE it. If they begin questioning their belief about ____ (Aspies, Auties, Downies, left handed people who like jazz...) this may cause a snow-ball effect wherein they begin questioning ALL their presuppositions! Then, they may have to admit to themselves that they were *GASP* wrong about a whole bunch of stuff. Their ego is too fragile, their self-esteem to low & often, most tragically, their intellect is too feeble to even countenance such a possibility.

 

[Mellotron]

I think I am actually pretty well able to "mask" it at first with most people. They don't seem to notice anything different about me at first, I guess I am able to just smile along and add something here or there in chit chat enough to get by. However after a little while of knowing most people I think they start thinking something is different about me. I guess either it is harder to "mask" it after a while or maybe I become more comfortable with them and I let myself be me around them. They start noticing I have different intense interests, I never talk about socializing with others, and maybe a hard time relating to their stories about everyday life. Plus I don't like small talk. When I was a kid in school I was always called "weird", always! I guess its something people don't call out nowadays but I get the feeling that most people after a while think I just don't quite fit into their definition of "normal".

 

[Cyanide Lollipop]

True, yeah, but there have been studies conducted on people with autism that are starting to disprove that theory. I was never, nor could I be, diagnosed with mental retardation - average to above average intelligence which may have helped me in a way to blend in and appear "normal", and there are plenty of accounts of people more severely affected by autism than myself who are also (go figure) of average or better intelligence and using alternate communication to speak up for theirselves and dispel that crock of nonsense. I'm not saying that all people with autism will be able to communicate their intelligence whichever way suits them best, since of course there is some co-morbidity due to the nature of our disorders, but it's not as common as the average person would lead you to believe.

I'm not referring to ability to communicate at all. 75% of people with ASD have mental retardation. Asperger's is a higher functioning autism, as we don't have mental retardation. The average person who knows very little about autism tends to consider that everyone with autism has some degree of mental retardation. Or perhaps they consider, erroneously, that both conditions are one and the same.

 

[Galaxy Freeze]

I look pretty normal, but I do not act normal at all, even though I try. Each day at school, I usually try to hide my odd behavior and "fake" being neurotypical, but people still know I'm a weirdo apparently. I could pass it off as being normal around people I've never met before probably, but not around family or people I do know. Lol

 

[total-recoil]

What I mean is this: You are in a group and people are chatting and acting normally. There is social interaction. Someone tells a joke you are meant to laugh or pretend to laugh in order to fit and belong. You are expected to understand irony, humour and cues. Well, I cannot. I would have this feeling I must laugh politely or understand a joke but can't seem to do what for everybody else is so damned easy. So, when I was younger I would get panic - a feeling of possible rejection or being inadequate. There would be this terrible pressure to try and be normal and there were times I even used alcohol to try and kill the unease. I also developed a phobia over classes and my hands would sweat. These days it's much better but I doubt I'll ever be cured. I mean, I carry on with life as normal and learned to shrug off stuff I can't do and focus on what I can do. In fact, I can socialise at work situations or even in classes now but I still think I'd be uneasy at parties.

I think you'd call it catastrophizing a situation. It might happen more often with Aspies due to our terrible track record with socializing, but neurotypicals have the same problem. If you are a negative or anxious person you may constantly run possible outcomes to situations through your mind with the expectation of the outcome actually occurring. I have a tendency to do this visually - forming mental imagery of horrific things happening to myself, my dog and those close to me. Sometimes these catastrophes we play through our minds are due to previous bad experiences and other times we simply have irrational thoughts based on nothing at all.

 

[total-recoil]

I guess I've not close the door to myself being retarded and it doesn't offend me. I believe I have HFA and not strictly aspergers because as a kid I was slow in many ways. I sort of shuffled when I walked, had poor concentration, daydreamed and was withdrawn. I would also act sort of backwards at times. I knew there was something definitely not quite right and my parents were aware of my being slow to walk and read. The irony is I went on to develop strong ability to learn at a later period, although I never performed well in class situations. I had to learn by my own visual method and I learn slowly but in great depth. So, I concluded I most definitely am autistic but only with respect to motor functions, audio learning ability and in a social context. I also have at times strong prosopagnosia and have been known to chat to a stranger, assuming it is a friend but in actual fact have failed to recognise correctly.

I'm not referring to ability to communicate at all. 75% of people with ASD have mental retardation. Asperger's is a higher functioning autism, as we don't have mental retardation. The average person who knows very little about autism tends to consider that everyone with autism has some degree of mental retardation. Or perhaps they consider, erroneously, that both conditions are one and the same.

 

[nonsensical]

...had poor concentration, daydreamed and was withdrawn. I would also act sort of backwards at times. I knew there was something definitely not quite right and my parents were aware of my being slow to walk and read. The irony is I went on to develop strong ability to learn at a later period, although I never performed well in class situations. I had to learn by my own visual method and I learn slowly but in great depth.

Sounds as if you were explaining me as a kid!

 

[Neat Hedgehog]

I don't look even remotely normal, as I'm built like a matchstick. People tend to assume I'm "weird" right off the bat, usually before I say anything. Then I usually don't talk without looking away from the person first (since I don't want to appear threatening, generally), or need a second to generate a proper sounding response, so people usually start to think I'm slow, or otherwise off my rocker after a few back-and-forth exchanges. My usual fidgety behavior makes people think I'm spastic or on some kind of drug, which doesn't help either.

One thing I have noticed that works remarkably well is to actually attempt to stand out. It might seem counter intuitive, but the basic idea makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Humans put a lot of stock in the way someone looks. I don't care about the people who say "I never judge someone by the way they look" because, frankly, that's a lie. You see a guy in a greasy cut-off T-shirt, baggy jeans, and a wrench in his pocket, you've probably made an assumption as to his education level, profession, and even recent activities. You might not treat him very differently from anyone else, but you've got a pretty good idea of what to expect from him, and it'll take a lot to change that.

But let's say instead of looking like Joe Mechanic there, you have attempted to look as unassuming as possible to "fit in" with all the "normal" people. Now the person approaching you may not have any real way of gathering solid information about you just from appearance, so they're going to be looking for clues. In effect, it puts them more on the alert to notice any stand-out behavior on your part. If you demonstrate disease (not like sickness, but actually dis-ease) with the situation, or act in a "odd" fashion, these may count negatively towards their mental image of you, and knock you down "below average" thus negatively influencing their interaction with you.

So what I do is try to dress in a not quite "flashy" manner, but at least "sharp" that the majority of the people around me; someone who looks like he knows what he's doing, has a nice enough education and job to be able to get well-fitting, if not terribly expensive, clothes. Then when they approach me, they have the idea in their head that is the sort of person I am and they are not trying to analyze me as closely. They have their opinion, and it's not changing without a lot of good reasons. Generally, my little quirks and oddities are not enough to sway their opinion, and if they notice they will explain them to themselves in some fashion that reinforces their original opinion, or will put them down to being "interesting eccentricities" instead of indicators that I'm batty.

I have been surprised how well this approach actually works for keeping people from singling me out and giving me the business.

 

[WildCat]

I'm not referring to ability to communicate at all. 75% of people with ASD have mental retardation. Asperger's is a higher functioning autism, as we don't have mental retardation. The average person who knows very little about autism tends to consider that everyone with autism has some degree of mental retardation. Or perhaps they consider, erroneously, that both conditions are one and the same.

Sorry for misinterpreting your post, I do that often

I don't believe that figure to be completely true, though as with someone like myself we would definitely be slower to develop in a few ways which might appear to be retardation at first, only to later close the gap and not even warrant such a diagnosis except for the autistic traits of course, or whatever's left over.

I guess I've not close the door to myself being retarded and it doesn't offend me. I believe I have HFA and not strictly aspergers because as a kid I was slow in many ways. I sort of shuffled when I walked, had poor concentration, daydreamed and was withdrawn. I would also act sort of backwards at times. I knew there was something definitely not quite right and my parents were aware of my being slow to walk and read. The irony is I went on to develop strong ability to learn at a later period, although I never performed well in class situations. I had to learn by my own visual method and I learn slowly but in great depth. So, I concluded I most definitely am autistic but only with respect to motor functions, audio learning ability and in a social context. I also have at times strong prosopagnosia and have been known to chat to a stranger, assuming it is a friend but in actual fact have failed to recognise correctly.

After reading this, I'm thinking that would have been an almost accurate description of myself as a youngster

 

[FutureTeacher]

I'd say I'm in the 95th percentile + of those with Aspergers. Academically, professionally talented. Personal skills (outside of workplace) lacking. Fortunately, I have a good group of friends, most of are unique in some way or another- few battle depression, ADHD, you name it.

 

[Nega Rark]

Wow! Just wrote a couple paragraphs and my computer froze up. Strange, I was really making progress!

Male, 23, my condition has progressed into adulthood. School situations like class periods, fraternity assemblies, and structured gatherings like sports and after-school work, always made sense to me. However robotic, I was actually always really good at waiting tables. Learned to be a bit of a performance-Aspie, they say there are a few types, engineering types, IT types, therapist types, I'm definitely ore the therapist or performing type.

Parents shuttled me to an engineering school, though, and I entered the engineering work-force. Where my previous Aspie/Autistic conditions might have got me bullied, or had girls be sympathetic towards me, in the work-force, everyone was some sort of predator. Undiagnosed, I was left to continually throw myself into the water, so to speak, and sink or swim. Tried conversations. Always felt so frustrated in dealing with other people and didn't know why. I was making 1400 a week at my last job, and I had the worst breakdowns of my life, and had to go home to live with my grandmother again, at 23!

Family has always seemed to understand my condition better than I could. Self-diagnosis date is August 15, 2013. Happened in a special library display. Read some childhood stories. Suddenly, I knew.

Thanks for this great community and I hope to learn a lot from everyone here as time goes on! Finally I feel home for the 1st time in 23 years.

 

[Slash]

I just got done taking an online Neurotypical test and I scored a 26% and it said this.

"You aren't that neurotypical. Social skills aren't your strong suit and you tend to have more skill in other areas, however, you may still enjoy socializing. It is likely that you are autistic."

 

[jimited]

Before I had my test for aspergers I confided to a tutor of mine whilst I was at college that I will soon be taking the test for aspergers as I am struggling with certain thins, he completely stunned me by saying oh yeh I always knew you was on the spectrum. To be honest all I know of how I am perceived by other people is that I come across as moody and quiet who rarely smiles, to me I am normal but to others I don't know as I have never asked. Dont get me wrong I can act when I need to and nod my head and put on a fake smile whilst someone is talking to me, most of the time I have no idea what they are saying, I guess my acting is my way of trying to look and be normal.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I appear normal during brief small talk - people asking me how I am, if I'm in school, etc. but if we get into an actual conversation then I suspect that the other person picks up that I'm different, even if they don't know what it is and even though most people don't say anything about it. It might also be one of the reasons most people don't talk to me for very long.

 

[Ste11aeres]

An interesting article that kind of relates to (perceptions of) normality '+windowtitle+'

 

[The Penguin]

I find I am normal but most people are not. This is cause I am my own person yet others may care about following society