How should girls approach autistic guys?

[Hypnalis]

If you've made a casual implication that a member of the forum has been promoting SA, this is a lot more than differing views.

False insinuations of SA are not a small matter.

 

[Rodafina]

If you've made a casual implication that a member of the forum has been promoting SA, this is a lot more than differing views.

False insinuations of SA are not a small matter.

That would be very serious indeed. Good thing I did no such thing.

 

[Hypnalis]

So where did it happen?
It wasn't on that oft-quoted post

 

[Mr. Stevens]

If you've made a casual implication that a member of the forum has been promoting SA, this is a lot more than differing views.

False insinuations of SA are not a small matter.

Saying women can find relationships with ease, as if this is always positive, downplays the risks of sexual assault and violence. You are pretending to not understand this, which can only take this thread in a messier direction. Some could argue this promotes SA, because now we have two posters ignoring this reality.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Mr. Stevens

You are attempting to reframe a simple, verifiable fact to "re-engineer" the meaning of a simple, unambiguous post.

This is not a "Social Construct".

Facts are neither positive or negative. In this case the implications are very well known, very simple, uncontroversial, and have been obviously true for over 50 years.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

@Mr. Stevens

You are attempting to reframe a simple, verifiable fact to "re-engineer" the meaning of a simple, unambiguous post.

This is not a "Social Construct".

Facts are neither positive or negative. In this case the implications are very well known, very simple, uncontroversial, and have been obviously true for over 50 years.

No one is saying women don't have it easier finding someone. We are saying they don't have it easier finding someone they want. They also endure many hardships, as shown earlier in the thread. If all these women are finding Mr. Right, then we wouldn't have these situations.

Pretending the whole story is women having it easier, is just confusing the superficial and the logical.

If we persist on downplaying people's trauma, this is no longer a support site. There is no place here for these endless posts about how women have it easier, or men are annoying, and so on and so on.

If people want to ignore demonstrable realities that's what YouTube is for. They can push any agenda they want there. This is a support site. It is not a place for the relationship equivalent of flat earth theories. I don't think this behavior should be tolerated when people come here for relief. Any poster here is free to find other places on the internet for their belief systems.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Girls I talk to actually told me the reason why they don't approach a guy is because they are afraid of rejection. So, if they both think that way, most of the time it's a stalemate where no one approaches anyone. I feel the same way and encountered many stalemates. Still do.

So now you know that women have the same misgivings as men. You can be their hero, especially to the shy ones, by approaching them, being respectful, and valuing their company. So remember as you feel hesitant that others have the same feelings.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Let me set my way-back machine to...1989. I was a teenager who very, very much wanted a girlfriend but was totally inept at doing anything about it. And then, one day, a girl hands me a note. Turns out, it was written by her best friend. She was telling me that she liked me, and maybe I could come see her after school as she worked in the local drug store? She didn't have to ask me twice! It would be great if I could tell you we later married and lived happily ever after; no, but it was a great relationship that lasted several years and we remain friends. All because of that not

Something similar happened to me in grade nine to this day have no idea who she was. Did not know I was on the spectrum for another 30 years. multiple women approached me using various methods prior to my marriage amazed me how direct they could be. looking back at least now I understand.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

We are saying they don't have it easier finding someone they want.

So very true. It is that realization that got me off my ass and determined to date women I found shy but intellectual. I had believed the lie that women have it easier. One shy woman (who was not my type) told me that after a marriage where her husband rejected her she would look for validation of her desirability. She would go to clubs, clutching her drink in a white-knuckle grasp, hoping to be approached before last call but paralyzed by anxiety. She was hoping that after sex, the men would follow up and want a relationship with her, but that never happened. I found that very sad.

What I learned was that I was not acting to be the person to give them the alternative to the jerks approaching them. I felt good about engaging with them and value the connections I made that led me to a kind and accepting woman.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

This is quite an ugly thing to say. How is your self-loathing going to attract people?

In another thread, you said you hate the phrase, "There's someone for everyone." If you don't believe there is someone for you, why complain? If you are made for a solitary life, nothing is lost. If you think some people are meant to be alone, then why complain of single life? Resentment is not an aphrodisiac.

Well I do know for a fact that far more men than women will Overlook self-loathing or bitterness and resentment

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Some people want all the benefits of being a man and a woman, but still want to take advantage of the double standards when it suits them. Confusing, and irritating.

I tell my wife on occasion I do not buy in to happy wife happy life. Just be upfront with me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We are an extra variable. That NT women have to deal with, Do not act like typical NT males.

 

[Hypnalis]

If we persist on downplaying people's trauma, this is no longer a support site.

Pretending the whole story is women having it easier

You're reframing again.
These claims that don't correspond to what anyone said are no better than the false assertions of support for immoral and illegal behavior behavior that started this mess.

And invoking Goodwin's Law in such a prosaic situation is ludicrous.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_lawIt's one of the original internet "thought-terminating cliches", and is considered an "instant loss of prestige" these days

BTW I'm not actually interested in the discussion at this point, provided you don't involve me in it.
But remember it started with false accusations of seriously bad behavior. I can't just let it go.

You'll be able to morph your framework into accurate content in one or two posts. Just take me (and Steelbookcollector, who's an innocent bystander) out of the next one and we're done.

 

[Rodafina]

But remember it started with false accusations of seriously bad behavior. I can't just let it go.

If you are talking about me, then you have misinterpreted my post. Post number 37 is a list of places to learn more about what unwanted attention toward women looks like in statistics and studies.

The post was in response to repeated comments about how easy it is for women to get attention. My point is that much of that attention that is received is predatory.

I wasn't talking to you. I was addressing a perseveration from another poster as I think that breaking down and challenging this obsessive thinking could actually be helpful to that person.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Interesting the last thing you would expect a woman to do

I guess out of frustration they can get very blunt seen it firsthand. Once at work sitting at a desk this woman sat directly in front of me on the desk, was it a display for others in the room or was she trying to get my attention.
really surprised me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Your deflection suggests that your undeniable fact is but an opinion.

My experiences years ago negate's opinions woman will do things out of character out of frustration.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

This thread is going sideways quick, and what is SA.

 

[Rodafina]

This thread is going sideways quick, and what is SA.

SA is sexual assault.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Thanks, womans experience as far as risk is concerned is different from men. remember going for a walk a few times years ago, felt like I was moments away from getting pepper sprayed, when passing a woman just reading their body language. Either way this is a great discussion still wonder who the girl was who put that letter in my locker and a few days later phoned me she hung up in frustration, yes, we are different. NT rules do not work with us.

 

[Hypnalis]

If you are talking about me, then you have misinterpreted my post. Post number 37 is a list of places to learn more about what unwanted attention toward women looks like in statistics and studies.

The post was in response to repeated comments about how easy it is for women to get attention. My point is that much of that attention that is received is predatory.

The possibility of predatory attention was completely irrelevant at that part of the thread.

And yet there it was, taking the focus from "women are less likely to approach men than men are to approach women" which obviously assumes normally civilized behavior on both sides, to various kind of "Toxic Male Behavior".

The first statement is innocuous. The switch to different kinds of harmful male behavior is not.