How to get him to stop biting

[Kayla55]

If you understand what causes your autistic child’s self-injurious and aggressive behaviour, you can help your child learn to manage the behaviour.

You can do this by looking at what’s triggering the behaviour and what your child is getting out of it. Try keeping a diary of the behaviour for 1-2 weeks, noting what happens before and after the behaviour.

Understanding how well your child can communicate is also a key step in finding out what’s causing the aggressive behaviour. When children can’t express feelings or ask for what they need or want, they might use aggressive behaviour to communicate.

It can be helpful to ask yourself, ‘Is my child trying to tell me something?’ For example, if your child doesn’t like corn flakes but can’t tell you, your child might hit you as a way of saying ‘Take it away, I don’t want it!’

 

[Kayla55]

I had twins and whilst everyone else put them together....I seperated them. They played separately and I kept a play ring for young kids for example I was cleaning the floor.
He would pick up toy truck and bash it over his brothers head, I had to give them time away from each other. ASD kids are not going to spend hours playing with the others.....so just stop expecting them too!
My boys are older and attend different schools, it's just best for us that twins have space and own identity.

Hope I helped make life easier.

 

[Crossbreed]

While your child has her 12yo jaws latched onto your arm, "reviewing her behavior" will not be your first --nor most useful-- response.

@Kayla55, your being human does not guarantee that your expertise is more competent than those you criticize. Without their expertise, there would be no diagnosis in the first place. We do not use ABA. We simply discourage inappropriate biting & pinching.

I, myself, am autistic, so this is not an us vs. them situation.

 

[Forest Cat]

We do not use ABA. We simply discourage inappropriate biting & pinching.

I have a quick question, I'm not familiar with ABA and I have seen people mention it here before. I googled it now but I'm pretty sure you are not talking about the American Bankers Association. What is ABA?

 

[Crossbreed]

I have a quick question, I'm not familiar with ABA and I have seen people mention it here before. I googled it now but I'm pretty sure you are not talking about the American Bankers Association. What is ABA?

Applied behavior analysis - Wikipedia
It can have some valid uses for specific behaviors, but is wrong when trying to turn an autistic into (the facsimile of) an NT.

In neuro-diversity (like ASD1 & gifted), the goal is to optimize one's health, not convert everyone into an NT (as Autism Speaks seeks to do).

 

[Kayla55]

While your child has her 12yo jaws latched onto your arm, "reviewing her behavior" will not be your first --nor most useful-- response.

@Kayla55, your being human does not guarantee that your expertise is more competent than those you criticize. Without their expertise, there would be no diagnosis in the first place. We do not use ABA. We simply discourage inappropriate biting & pinching.

I, myself, am autistic, so this is not an us vs. them situation.

I hear you, in those days there were less resources and choosing not to use ABA meant as Kanner said life after 20 would be um, dependence.
Psychologist won't see asd children and using regular methods for typical kids won't always apply and I learnt this hard way. I share speech guides cause I know it's a task n half.
As I said we have this special needs school and people here are old fashioned. One lady I've noticed has her son home everyday. The idea of having a farm and getting them to feed and work with animals is nice, however with older people it's difficult (not impossible) and I know that at times animal is hurt and people don't like to admit this, it's a sign of severe stress that we moms experiencing. I thought my son would never talk, then he babbled for ages and only us in house knew what saying so I had to admit he wasn't verbal until we found resource.
But just to advise we know more than we did.

 

[Rodafina]

I have a quick question, I'm not familiar with ABA and I have seen people mention it here before. I googled it now but I'm pretty sure you are not talking about the American Bankers Association. What is ABA?

Applied Behavior Analysis

https://childmind.org/article/controversy-around-applied-behavior-analysis/

 

[Kayla55]

Maybe we best left to figure ourselves out ND use aspire online resources, child therapy could mess up too many people worse if in wrong hands.
Perhaps we should have thread focus on medical errata contributed by aspires to try help parents who's children died from autism combined epilepsy

Maybe just advice to neuro-typical parents on dealing with aspire kids. I believe there is an attachment order relating to physical/emotional needs of all living creatures, kids reliant on parents to provide.
If your child doesn't want hugs or to be touched it may just be a phase or sensory issue, it's not insult to take personally. Just remind child gently from time to time regarding manners and say I care for you and I'm here and give em space. I do believe the love is being received on sub conscious level.

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/effect-of-abuse-on-autistic-kids.42657/

 

[Crossbreed]

I thought my son would never talk, then he babbled for ages and only us in house knew what saying so I had to admit he wasn't verbal until we found resource.
But just to advise we know more than we did.

Temple Grandin saw a turnaround, too, but in our experience, those cases have been the exception rather than the rule.

• [Our daughter] regressed on the three words that she did have (hi, ow & hot).
• She signs simple words, but no sentences.
• The BIGmack & PECS did not work for her. (We did not just fall off of the turnip wagon.)

https://www.adaptivetechsolutions.com/blog/basic-information-about-communication-devices/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picture_Exchange_Communication_System

 

[Crossbreed]

Maybe we best left to figure ourselves out ND use aspire online resources, child therapy could mess up too many people worse if in wrong hands.

Most of those tactics fail because they seek to convert the neuro-diverse into NTs rather than optimize their neuro-diversity.

You don't force a left-hander to use their right hand. You teach them how to meet their writing objectives using their left hands. But they still have to write left-to-write using our conventional alphabet.

 

[Kayla55]

Asd children with siblings have better communication skills, I've tried to stop typical son many times, if I think it's invasive, then I do. (Age 6-10)
Yes, I let him be what he is, I didn't try change that. But 'real world's knocking early with his brother wanting to play at this age (this is where kids most engage in play and are less self absorbed)
My findings are a sister is best regulator sibling for boys, really amazing. There is difference due to your siblings.
He has his own room and not allowed to bother him, kids behave better at school and enforcing same rules at home is trying.
Sign language shouldn't be so stiff...half symbols are not understood by other people. At time I never knew sign language and would try to use signs that were sort of like playing sherades combined Pictionary, the signs were closer to indicating what I was pointing at ....to me this is a necessary change.

 

[Crossbreed]

Asd children with siblings have better communication skills,...

My ASD3 daughter is #7 of 10.

 

[Kayla55]

My ASD3 daughter is #7 of 10.

R u saying u have 10 kids???
We spent lot of time on farm, it was just easier to escape society more often, the twins could go in opposite directions and I knew he was with friends and other was refusing to come out. Drama
Found veggie patch was overgrown, the cows raised again so we mended fence and this is something to do.... Planting veggies is good, it's productive.
Also found neighbours further away from hearing the outburst time to time and stuff like that.

 

[Kayla55]

Most of those tactics fail because they seek to convert the neuro-diverse into NTs rather than optimize their neuro-diversity.

You don't force a left-hander to use their right hand. You teach them how to meet their writing objectives using their left hands. But they still have to write left-to-write using our conventional alphabet.

Ye, my twins r boys n I have a leftie. He was shaky with writing (I can draw pictures left but I take much longer and I'd probably increase my accuracy with practice....so I swop hands for most other things)
But he's definately a leftie so I never fussed too much on whether he drew letters top bottom or vica versa. I just let him do his best. I think eventually corrected at Montessori as I did notice changes and when we looked up a video on advice from a male (men r dominantly lefties) it's only a few numbers and letters but mostly sitting other side of desk not to bump but desks at class are singular so not so much issue until copy work from a book on wrong side.

 

[Nitro]

My sister played the hands off approach with her two kids until they began to act any way they chose to and ran over top of her.

That ended abruptly the day she decided to smack some asses instead of a simple time out.

Getting punished served as a reminder to what would happen next if they decided to escalate after she gave them the first "mom" look.

When a mother dog has to correct her pups that are stepping out of line, she doesn't resort to a time out, she growls first then nips them if they go beyond that.


In my honest opinion, ABA can be simply the same as the dog vs. pups routine.

Autism is a developmental disorder, not an excuse to act poorly.

 

[Forest Cat]

R u saying u have 10 kids???

I think Crossbreed has enough kids to start his own soccer team.
It's impressive, he could be the manager of a family soccer team.

 

[Kayla55]

My sister played the hands off approach with her two kids until they began to act any way they chose to and ran over top of her.

That ended abruptly the day she decided to smack some asses instead of a simple time out.

Getting punished served as a reminder to what would happen next if they decided to escalate after she gave them the first "mom" look.

When a mother dog has to correct her pups that are stepping out of line, she doesn't resort to a time out, she growls first then nips them if they go beyond that.


In my honest opinion, ABA can be simply the same as the dog vs. pups routine.

Autism is a developmental disorder, not an excuse to act poorly.

There are 3 other lefties in class, a teacher with leftie scissors who has no clue to actual left handed tips. Me being first to point it out. Unless covering up for inclusion sake, my boy is only one with ASD.
Ok, debate over asd & giftedness continues.....

Just keep things in context, from time to time most people will agree that unruly child may need spank but it's approached with caution ....some are of opinion that time out isn't appropriate discipline for kids with disabilities and you really have to understand the why and the when.
Mostly a mixed method is described as suited as child needs, no matter what I did on farm, even no one's around, he wouldn't feed chickens and my ex dumped him crying at creche (ABA theory)
My ex because we firmly disagreed that ABA wasn't route. Sometimes a bit of pressure works but not if person hasnt the tools, so age specific we teach them tools to use and gradually place more expectation (within reason)

 

[Forest Cat]

There are 3 other lefties in class, a teacher with leftie scissors who has no clue to actual left handed tips. Me being first to point it out. Unless covering up for inclusion sake, my boy is only one with ASD.

I'm left-handed and I'm just wondering, is it a problem to be left-handed where you live? Something you wrote sounded like left-handedness is something that has to be fixed or hidden.

 

[Forest Cat]

When a mother dog has to correct her pups that are stepping out of line, she doesn't resort to a time out, she growls first then nips them if they go beyond that.

My mother had a simple way of letting me know I had crossed the line. If she used both my names, first name and surname, I knew I had screwed up. "Forest Cat!!". That was all it took, my full name. Then I settled down. That was her growl. If I tried to cry my way out of something or play on emotions like kids do, she used a local expression,"There's no dear mom here". Meaning, "just forget it, you're not crying or talking your way out of this".

 

[Kayla55]

I'm left-handed and I'm just wondering, is it a problem to be left-handed where you live? Something you wrote sounded like left-handedness is something that has to be fixed or hidden.

Nope, previous discussion with crossbreed over giftedness. My first observation is most boys on spectrum don't have father guide to being a clever-clutz....so no guidance arrives I classroom about further enrichment than leftie scissors.
My input is my boy(I do love him) but honestly we have co-ord issues, his more noticeable.....and exacerbated by left hand. I promote independence but day he flipped French toast and little oil splattered was the temporary ban from kitchen, I then learnt how tricky it is to chop veggies left handed. And I'm now aware of risk factors for him to operate machinery designed for righties.