How to get him to stop biting

[Kayla55]

He was shaky when first writing and battling, practice makes purrrfect
Must be asd not leftie issue so he wrote letters up to top....and it was left like that on purpose

 

[Mary Terry]

My mother had a simple way of letting me know I had crossed the line. If she used both my names, first name and surname, I knew I had screwed up. "Forest Cat!!". That was all it took, my full name. Then I settled down. That was her growl. If I tried to cry my way out of something or play on emotions like kids do, she used a local expression,"There's no dear mom here". Meaning, "just forget it, you're not crying or talking your way out of this".

My mother just had to give us "the look". No words necessary. We knew with certainty what "the look" meant and that dire consequences would follow if we didn't immediately stop whatever offensive thing we were doing.

 

[Kayla55]

My mother just had to give us "the look". No words necessary. We knew with certainty what "the look" meant and that dire consequences would follow if we didn't immediately stop whatever offensive thing we were doing.

A child can't time out or duns hat in the corner for sensory needs, so if noise is too loud he needs a calm space to learn to go relax, the space isn't a corner or punishment.
If child is arguing then it could be they are lead by aspie belief or way of thinking so we can't correct that, it's their opinion, but we may break up fight or rather you should watch for signs before fight and say ok...let's break it up.
We can't really always redirect asd child because they may need to calm first or they may have trouble transitioning to another task, so deciding child is disobedient isn't fair treatment.
I usually find neuro-typicsl is one to assert belief over other, is one to continue the argument or teasing. Asd will usually just want quiet and space to do their own thing.
Boys tend to switch off to sensory even less than girls, so may affect him more and be noticeable later on tend to have pattern recognition or photographic memories for this reason so debate of giftedness is constantly open.
It is important to work on the confidence of your asd child, in their abilities and to shift focus away from problem behaviours all the time!!
One love to all!

 

[Kayla55]

How do you cope? We knew friends who had 6 regular effort kids and oh, boy!!
Financially I couldn't afford private O.T. so state only does a bit. She was a rad lady, better than most other shrinks n speech. She would give me extra worksheets but I had to do them as homework, but I was happy to DIY and a positive attitude can really be a winner when I felt so often I was drowning.
I don't think it's bad to have many kids, I just asked in that how on earth are you coping and we are forever short on money.

 

[Mary Terry]

A child can't time out or duns hat in the corner for sensory needs, so if noise is too loud he needs a calm space to learn to go relax, the space isn't a corner or punishment.
If child is arguing then it could be they are lead by aspie belief or way of thinking so we can't correct that, it's their opinion, but we may break up fight or rather you should watch for signs before fight and say ok...let's break it up.
We can't really always redirect asd child because they may need to calm first or they may have trouble transitioning to another task, so deciding child is disobedient isn't fair treatment.
I usually find neuro-typicsl is one to assert belief over other, is one to continue the argument or teasing. Asd will usually just want quiet and space to do their own thing.
Boys tend to switch off to sensory even less than girls, so may affect him more and be noticeable later on tend to have pattern recognition or photographic memories for this reason so debate of giftedness is constantly open.
It is important to work on the confidence of your asd child, in their abilities and to shift focus away from problem behaviours all the time!!
One love to all!

Ironically, Kayla, the same approach is also used for NT children. There is as much diversity between any two NT children as there is between any two ND children. NT children often have behavioral issues quite similar to ND children.

 

[Crossbreed]

R u saying u have 10 kids???

Yes, ten living.
Family scorecard: ⚤ ♀♀♂♂♂♂♂♂♀♀♂♂⎛♀⎞♂♀♂♂♂

 

[Nitro]

I used to have a dog that loved to nip me on the back of my legs.
It ended the day I snagged him up and bit him back.

 

[Crossbreed]

How do you cope? We knew friends who had 6 regular effort kids and oh, boy!!
Financially I couldn't afford private O.T. so state only does a bit. She was a rad lady, better than most other shrinks n speech. She would give me extra worksheets but I had to do them as homework, but I was happy to DIY and a positive attitude can really be a winner when I felt so often I was drowning.
I don't think it's bad to have many kids, I just asked in that how on earth are you coping and we are forever short on money.

God just met us there.
We only have our ASD3 daughter at home, now.

 

[Mary Terry]

My autistic nephew blatantly ogled women and tried to touch them when he was a teenager. One day he touched the derriere of a woman in the grocery store, and she whirled around and slapped his face so hard that his butt bounced off the floor with a stunned look of shock and awe on his face. He has never again attempted to touch women, but he does still stare at them in a way that I know makes people think he is creepy. I wish he had the language skills to grasp that staring like that is rude and upsets people, and the discipline to stop doing it.

 

[Crossbreed]

My autistic nephew blatantly ogled women and tried to touch them when he was a teenager. One day he touched the derriere of a woman in the grocery store, and she whirled around and slapped his face so hard that his butt bounced off the floor with a stunned look of shock and awe on his face. He has never again attempted to touch women, but he does still stare at them in a way that I know makes people think he is creepy. I wish he had the language skills to grasp that staring like that is rude and upsets people, and the discipline to stop doing it.

Even though social development is arrested, libido is not.
My daughter has displayed a female version of this [lordosis behavior] toward male guests, but it is less aggressive than the male response.

 

[Kayla55]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.da...drug-turn-enzyme-hijacks-social-behavior.html
Also now blood tests for asd, theory is it's stomach gut is different, but to improve social give you typical gut, ????
Suppose it's better than steroids or whatever to try improve performance.

 

[tree]

REMINDER

Thread topic is:

"My nephew keeps on trying to bite everyday,there are days where he actually does bite us (me mostly) and no matter what we do (like time-out, telling him "no biting/you are not going to bite anyone/etc", removing myself or him from the situation and so on) he will not stop. Help please?"

 

[Kayla55]

Ok, I suppose I'd have to be in situation, have background. I've just shared general ideas about discipline for disabled kids, perhaps asd3 out of scope

 

[AspieChris]

Individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder experience deficits and delays in varying areas, or on a spectrum. This means while a child could be entirely nonverbal and need help socially, they could also excel academically. This type of child is likely to be labeled “low-functioning”, when in reality, their high academics demonstrate anything but “low functioning”.

In contrast, a child could be labeled “high-functioning” due to their ability to speak verbally and make friends but lack academic skills that lead them to struggles in the classroom. As you can see, the terms simply don’t make sense. What one child lacks, the other might excel in, and yet both have a diagnosis of autism.

Despite the ever-changing vocabulary in the world of ABA and Autism, most can agree that specific symptoms are typically seen as either high or-low functioning. A typical ASD individual displaying low-functioning, or “Level 3”

Hey all, sorry it's been a while. My nephew keeps on trying to bite everyday, there are days where he actually does bite us (me mostly) and no matter what we do (like time-out, telling him "no biting/you are not going to bite anyone/etc", removing myself or him from the situation and so on) he will not stop. Help please?

Any type of aggressive behavior in a child with ASD (particularly a non-verbal child) is basically a cry for help. Just imagine you were stuck on a cross-town bus seated next to two homeless men who smell of rotten eggs, in front of a screaming baby, and behind someone who continuously keeps flicking the igniter on a disposable lighter (no fire just sparks). It is so incredibly disturbing, distracting, feels unbelievably dangerous. The bus driver doesn’t notice and nobody but you seems to care. Now imagine that your hands are bound and you have lost your voice, and that bus just entered an expressway with no opportunity for you to exit. You desperately want to scream, but you can’t. And THEN you hear the driver announce that the air conditioning just broke and the windows don’t open. Eventually you lose your mind and become violent/aggressive/etc.

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but depending on the level of ASD the person is dealing with… it might not be so much exaggerated. All of the stuff that a NT person calls background noise and just “tunes it out” can be so much more distracting than you might believe. Even something as simple as a television playing in another room is a sight and sound that can drive them insane. And I speak from my own personal experience.

There’s no excuse for aggressive behavior and it can not be tolerated. But how would you feel if you were arrested for the bus incident after going crazy and hurting someone? How long would it take you to calm down after it was all over? Theres two things I feel you should focus on:

1: Discourage violent responses to stress. Several others in this thread have provided some great ideas. However…. throwing you in jail doesn’t seem fair to you right? So, fighting violence with more violence probably won’t help. It will definitely solve the situation temporarily, but the ASD child is still stuck on that bus and it’s gonna happen again. It is important to teach them that violence is not OK, but I feel like it will go further towards your goals if it’s not punitive. Something that tastes bad is a great idea, but maybe a ‘time-out’ (jail) might not help. And slapping an ASD child who is already in distress is probably a huge mistake.

2: Spend some real time learning what it is that causes the stress. ASD children don’t tend to be lazy, selfish, or liars. If the toaster oven bothers them, then maybe they can actually feel the heat in another room. If the air conditioning coming on is connected to some kind of negative behavior, perhaps it’s the breeze or noise(even though you can’t hear it, the child might…. I do). If he/she is happy with Netflix but has meltdowns when YouTube is playing, it might be the commercials constantly changing bright lights filling the room (we all know that strobe lights can cause seizures in otherwise ’normal’ individuals).

It’s gonna take a lifetime to learn what works and what doesn’t. But if you genuinely care…. It might be worth spending the time to learn. And an hour a week in a therapist’s office looking for new drugs to try is likely not the answer.

 

[Crossbreed]

Any type of aggressive behavior in a child with ASD (particularly a non-verbal child) is basically a cry for help.

There is no one-size-fits-all answers. My daughter has a mental age of 18 mos. (for an NT) and bites for reasons that are consistent with that age: out of anxiety or as a means of self-soothing. (She gives no advance warning for the second.)

That was not such a big deal when she had an 18 month-old's jaw-strength, compared to that of a 28yo woman. Even a 12yo will hurt you.

And slapping an ASD child who is already in distress is probably a huge mistake.

What would you propose to make her release you from her lock-jaw...?

 

[AspieChris]

There is no one-size-fits-all answers. My daughter has a mental age of 18 mos. (for an NT) and bites for reasons that are consistent with that age: out of anxiety or as a means of self-soothing. (She gives no advance warning for the second.)

That was not such a big deal when she had an 18 month-old's jaw-strength, compared to that of a 28yo woman. Even a 12yo will hurt you.

What would you propose to make her release you from her lock-jaw...?

I apologize for not having been more clear. I was referring to the ways that some adults use physical violence as a means of training or punishment for bad behavior. Self defense is very important and I’m sure I would do the same.

I was hit a lot as a child and all I learned was to be more scared. Ironically it caused me to become non-verbal when I’m confused or overwhelmed.

I can’t imagine how difficult your situation must be. One size certainly does not fit all.

 

[Laura K]

My now 28yo, ASD3 daughter will still bite at this age, with some caveats.
She has a mental age of 1.5yo and will bite out of anger, anxiety or for sensory reasons. (You can't always see the last one coming.)

When she was about 12, she bit into my arm one day and would not release me. I slapped her thigh just enough to sting. When she cried, she released my arm. When she tried to continue biting me, I gave her a minimal slap to her lips and she backed down. Whenever she tried to bite me after that, I would just raise my hand and she would halt her attack. It was similar for pinching.

Unfortunately, she continued to bite & pinch her teachers (who rejected and were blocked from using such physical tactics) and fellow [special ed.] students. But her bus driver was not afraid to slap pinchy fingers. (We could tell that [the driver] was not being mean.)

Hi - My son is the same age as your daughter and he also had biting issues when he was a child. He got so much negative verbal responses and eventually grew out of it. I don’t even remember when it ceased being a problem but somewhere along the way it just didn’t happen. We talked about it a lot and when he could verbalize No biting, that and all the negative reinforcement worked together.

Is this ever still an issue with your daughter? My son has anxieties and I think the biting was a way to deal with them. He has been on anti anxiety medication for a long time and that has lessened his anxiety.

 

[Crossbreed]

Is this ever still an issue with your daughter?

She would still randomly bite people when we went to church (so we don't go). Sometimes, she still comes after me, but will back down when I raise my hand. (I have not actually had to follow through for many, many years.)

We tried anti-anxiety medicine when she was younger, but it had no effect.

 

[Kayla55]

Sometimes watching videos of others going bananas helps, helps to realise you not alone, helps to take the issue away from you and reconcile objectively....sometimes it's not immediate but we reaching a person and even showing them how to react appropriately in dating, that being reserved is best.
Don't forget time out for mum. Last year was first time in over a decade that I went for coffee and kitsch and bought myself an outfit. Darn, what would help us is more relaxing hot bath, esp. since I hand cleaned the carpet.....quick showers really get me down.
Anyway, this helped me after years of silent non-reactions to snobby, do-gooder society.....and exasperated explaining to professionals, nosy teachers and even a social worker it was like I just sat there and watched others in the same boat.

 

[Ame568]

Wow, there's a lot of replies! Sorry that I never got back to anyone, I never got email updates saying there were replies here so I never thought to check this post until today. Again I'm so sorry!