Hypersexual vs Asexual

[Nairobi]

I did not know that this was a fact - that most people on the spectrum are hypersexual or asexual? Does anyone know how it was determined if a person was hypersexual? Asexual seems easier to tell - but how would one know if they are hypersexual rather than just average?

 

[Emily Write]

I am always curious when I meet really horny people because it's interesting to meet people who are the complete opposite of me as an asexual. When they find out I'm ace, they tend to react the same way towards me if they are also coming from a place of respect. I am not sex repulsed and don't mind discussing sex, something I have to remind any allosexual pals when they bring up the topic that knows how I feel about it personally.

If anything, I have often felt more comfortable discussing sex because these are feelings people, especially women, tend to be shamed for and told are wrong to dwell on. I tend to remind people who have been sacred in the past to say anything about it that there is nothing wrong with feeling that way and desiring that sort of thing. It's messed up how people tend to do that even though they themselves usually feel the exact same things they shame.

I couldn't ever date a hypersexual person because those needs wouldn't clash well in a romance. I am supportive of my friends who are though since I get that I ought to respect and support them being different just like I want them to.

Really though, when it comes to autistic people, we can and do fall into any level of sexuality. Some of us are asexual, some are hypersexual, and others somewhere else.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

It's a cruel irony that many autistics are hypersexual. I certainly am one of them. On top of that, I had an alcoholic father to screw with my ego. The hypersexual/asexual characteristic is one of many that I never connected with ASD before joining the online autistic community.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

I did not know that this was a fact - that most people on the spectrum are hypersexual or asexual? Does anyone know how it was determined if a person was hypersexual? Asexual seems easier to tell - but how would one know if they are hypersexual rather than just average?

I don't think it is most ASD people. It's just that both occur at a much higher rate with ASD. I see hypersexuality as excessive libido and excessive amount of your time thinking about and engaging in sexual activity. Unless your partner is also hypersexual, probably much of it will be masturbation for us. For the socially adept, it can involve many partners.

 

[Fino]

This is the first time I've ever seen "asexual" used in its adjective form. When a person describes themselves as "asexual," the meaning in this thread is not typically what is meant. Books on the subject of "asexuality" are not discussing what is being discussed in this thread.

It would be less confusing to simply say "high libido" and "low libido." Is there anything missing in this terminology that other terminology is needed for clarity?

 

[SusanLR]

This is the first time I've ever seen "asexual" used in its adjective form. When a person describes themselves as "asexual," the meaning in this thread is not typically what is meant. Books on the subject of "asexuality" are not discussing what is being discussed in this thread.

It would be less confusing to simply say "high libido" and "low libido." Is there anything missing in this terminology that other terminology is needed for clarity?

Yes, I feel the need for more clarity.
I haven't read books that define asexual, but, the use of "high" or "low" libido to me sounds like
everyone has a desire for sex. Some often, some less.

So, if someone likes frequent masturbation, but, never feels the desire for a partner, (autosexual),
are they high, low libido or Ace?
Are'nt there people who claim to have no libido at all?
Even the definition of it can be confusing.
As the famous question once asked was, " define sex."

In reference to the OP, I have also noticed there seems to be more ASD people that are polar
opposites. Hyper or nothing with fewer in between.

 

[AspieOtaku]

My girlfriend is hypersexual at times her libido might be higher than mine most the time though its the same level she likes intimacy every day.

 

[Nairobi]

Would a person who has lots of romantic affection and desire but naturally does not have much sexual desire - at least not much desire at all to have sex with another person - could such a person be considered asexual? Do some asexuals still have strong desire for romantic affection and connection (cuddling, emotional closeness, etc.)?

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Would a person who has lots of romantic affection and desire but naturally does not have much sexual desire - at least not much desire at all to have sex with another person - could such a person be considered asexual? Do some asexuals still have strong desire for romantic affection and connection (cuddling, emotional closeness, etc.)?

Not sure. I think asexual means they have no desire. I dont think autosexual is the same as asexual

To define hypersexual we have to get in to the benchmark again and who determines what a standard is. "I want it every day", is that hypersexuality? Or maybe that's normal and hypersexuality are those who want it several times each day?

 

[watersprite]

At the risk of stating the obvious, there surely is a spectrum of desire.
Wanting it every day would likely fall onto a normal area for many people? Must be a Bell Curve for this somewhere.
In the book, Behave, the *author notes that humans are the only animal that does it every day and then (needs to) discuss it.

*Robert Sapolsky

 

[AspieOtaku]

Im sorry for asking such questions i get curious most hypersexual or asexual 50 percent not many in between. I dont get it but i fit in the hypersexual category my gf also hypersexual on the the spectrum, i apologize on both our behalfs .I dont understand aspies in middle ground most nts kinda middle. With us Aspies its usually hypersexual or asexual or to the point sex is disgusting and hate it like sheldon cooper.

 

[Thinx]

Asexuality is discussed and defined quite usefully on the Stonewall website. Hypersexuality is often used as a term that implies excess, like sexual addiction, but it seems here you are talking about liking a lot of sex, which you enjoy, and your partner does too? There's nothing wrong with that, enjoy!

 

[Sabrina]

I've never thought about it. I think my partner and I are hypersexual, most of all, if you consider our age (I am 47 and he is 58).

 

[Aspychata]

What's nice is that you both enjoy each other's company and so on.

My marriage had none yet l stayed because l figure marriage doesn't have to be based solely on sex.

No, l never messed around on my ex. Didn't have any desire to pursue it.

But if l am super attracted to someone, then l follow along with their desire. Now that l am older, l am more go with the flow. My one now is handsome as can be. So even though we have zero plans to live together, l could see we would be busy if we had lived together, lol.

 

[Aspychata]

I think most NTs seem to be in between some hyper though i dont get it cause seems like us on the spectrum mostly polar opposites.

Hopefully you will tell your gf how great she is. So many men complain about not even getting one hookup in life☺

 

[Fino]

Would a person who has lots of romantic affection and desire but naturally does not have much sexual desire - at least not much desire at all to have sex with another person - could such a person be considered asexual? Do some asexuals still have strong desire for romantic affection and connection (cuddling, emotional closeness, etc.)?

Yes, that's more on the asexual side, depending on what you mean by "does not have much."

There are two types of attraction:

1. Romantic attraction is what you've defined, a desire for romantic affection and connection.

2. Sexual attraction is the desire to engage in sex with a person.

For the majority, the two line up and seem to become one. But for many, it varies. It never crosses my mind at any moment ever that I would want to have sex with someone. That's all asexuality is.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Hopefully you will tell your gf how great she is. So many men complain about not even getting one hookup in life☺

Im happy with her sometimes i need to rest and recharge due to refactory period, no fair ladies can climax more lol she wants to go again she understands i offer toys she prefers me after i rest and recharge the tadpoles she loves it when i spoon her later and cuddle and talk about my feelings.We go again and cuddle later, watch anime later too and we both go back to gaming she likes CS Go i play mmorpgs and AR games we go gamer mode and get intimate the next day again.

 

[AspieOtaku]

I've never thought about it. I think my partner and I are hypersexual, most of all, if you consider our age (I am 47 and he is 58).

Im 38 shes 41 we like spooning and cuddling after alot, then watch anime later together holding hands.

 

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

I identify myself as an "Asexual" and even made a video on YouTube discussing why and what this all means to me.

 

[AspieOtaku]

That reminds me i just watched the episode of bbt sheldon an asexual aspie sleeps with Amy for the first time shes more of the hypersexual end as an aspie.