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I actually don't want an platonic female friend anymore.

velociraptor said:
I've not had a problem maintaining female friends for decades. There has never been attraction or sexual overtures in either direction. I respect them, they respect me, we enjoy each others' company occasionally, and that is all. I am married and have remained faithful to my wife for almost a quarter century.

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It's not that hard.
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With 40% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages ending in divorce, it would seem it is that hard.
 
I used to be quite the misogynist myself back when I was younger - being molested by my aunt had a lot to do with that.

Therapy helped me work through all of that, and I was glad I had a male therapist who specialized in both Asperger’s and chemical dependency issues.

I don’t want to see you harping on about this five years ago. I want to see you be a man. People screwed you over in the past? Learn from it, set your boundaries.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I hate the monster I became.
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You are not a monster. I think Charles Manson is on an entirely different plane than you. But if you keep telling yourself you are one, it just might be the reason people get monster vibes off you.

Relax a little. Your problems are more common than you think they are. And they can be turned around if you are seriously willing to put in the work to do so. Be honest with your therapist.
 
Therapy is very helpful. Glad you are moving forward with that. Sometimes being on the spectrum, l think we take things a little to personally. Women don't hate you, they may chose not to spend time being your friend because they choose to work and have other choices and wants that they need done. l have said no, to many interested men all thru out my life, because l just wasn't in to them. It's no reflection on them, and most men understand this. You unlike other men, take it as a personal slight against yourself. And that's where you need to step back and look at your thinking.
 
velociraptor said:
Years of CBT have taught me how to redirect inappropriate thoughts into more appropriate ones. It is automatic now.
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I did that with CPT Cognitive Processing Therapy and I have rewritten a lot of my interior dialogue to focus on the positive in my life. And, I have been feeling so positively for the past few years that I am enjoying people more.
 
@Gerald Wilgus You are another success story here, and it seems that Tony Ramirez is on the path to success. l see changes in his posts, some of that anger has dissipated.
 
Aspychata said:
Therapy is very helpful. Glad you are moving forward with that. Sometimes being on the spectrum, l think we take things a little to personally. Women don't hate you, they may chose not to spend time being your friend because they choose to work and have other choices and wants that they need done. l have said no, to many interested men all thru out my life, because l just wasn't in to them. It's no reflection on them, and most men understand this. You unlike other men, take it as a personal slight against yourself. And that's where you need to step back and look at your thinking.
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I agree. I have said this before. Much of the time (not always, but it happens) people on the spectrum misunderstand and then misinterpret the behavior of others. We misread behavior, become offended and/or hurt, and then respond poorly.
 
@Masked Man , but for some reason, it's a hard concept to explain that you need to step out of your mindset, and embrace a general mindset that we all have personal choices to hangout or not hangout with others. For some reason, those on the spectrum don't quite get this, and it's part of our social network mapping in our brain synopsis, we just don't understand why we can't be friends with those we wish to be friends with.
 
Masked Man said:
I agree. I have said this before. Much of the time (not always, but it happens) people on the spectrum misunderstand and then misinterpret the behavior of others. We misread behavior, become offended and/or hurt, and then respond poorly.
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I am a three decade plus member of AA and I see this sort of poor behaviour there all the time. It's not limited to people with autism, but it makes a convenient excuse for our community when it erupts here. Unfortunately the rest of us have to unfairly wear the stigma caused by a small number in our community.
 
Aspychata said:
@Masked Man For some reason, those on the spectrum don't quite get this, and it's part of our social network mapping in our brain synopsis, we just don't understand why we can't be friends with those we wish to be friends with.
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Could you explain the science a bit more please? I find it hard when I know ill get on with someone and would be compatible as friends but they dont want to and cant see what I see. Its so dissapointing and happened all my life.
 
I had meltdowns today. Had to take 100 mg Seroquel. My hatred runs deep. The way they looked at me walking and one on the subway when I got off as another riding the subway. They always giving me looks.

Then coming home a platonic couple an ugly dude with a beautiful redhead women chatting it up back from the museum while again all the women around treat me like garbage.

I tried to watch two movies where a man treated a woman like garbage then they had sex. It pissed me off more. Finally just went back to One Piece on Netflix.

Then I lost it in my mother calling women the you no what word. I said I am quitting the gym and anywhere these people hang out. I hate them all. I can't be around them anymore. I am trying to wind down and go to bed. I hate my life.
 
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Maybe avoid triggers for a day or two, including here. You don't need any burned bridges with your combustible mood state.
In my opinion posting here is going to make you more upset and feel more ashamed. Is there any hobby from childhood that you used to get engrossed in? Something to do while you wait for the stormy waters to settle.
 
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