• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

I feel jealous that I’ll never achieve my dreams

So, more than 90% fail to earn enough to afford the necessities of life.

Like many aspirational things, a very few make it, but many live the dream. And it's okay to dream and to have fun at it, as long as one is also pragmatic.

With hockey, we have some stats from a 2003 study:

A new study shows that the chances of going from minor hockey to a steady NHL career are roughly one in 4,000; long odds indeed.

The study by Jim Parcels, a 13-year veteran of minor and junior hockey in the province, found that of the 360,000 or so kids born in Ontario in 1968, 32,000 went on to play minor hockey of some kind. Of those, 223 were drafted into the Ontario Hockey League and 65 were subsequently drafted into the NHL (there were 12 rounds then instead of nine as it is today).

Only eight — or one in 4,000 — have played at least 400 games in the NHL or 180 games in net (enough to qualify for the NHLPA pension). And of those, only four are still in the NHL: Graves, Daniels, Boston goaltender Jeff Hackett and Buffalo winger Rob Ray.

Source:
https://www.hockeycanada.ca/en-ca/news/2003-gn-001-en
 
Also, I wanted to mention another strange phenomenon.

Younger people (I'm 33, so I'm old as heck) have been sold on the streamer / influencer route just as much as my (and previous) generations were sold on the musician / artist route. Their whole trick is to make it look easy, when in reality the bands or artists (or in this case, streamers) worked harder than everybody else in order to get where they are. They took the crap jobs, they got stalked, made fun of, bullied, harassed, or had a beer bottle thrown at their head at least once. They also likely toured themselves sick for a decade, depending in which scenario we're going with.

It's a rough path. Let's just put it that way! In my old(er) age, I'd much rather take the safer route than that stuff, but there's no harm in giving new things a go!

Yeah, I will second this.

Even the ones that make big money work harder than you might think.

I dont follow social media and whatnot, but I do follow a lot of Youtube, and am familiar with some big earners on there. And what I often see is people wanting to be just like them, because it's oh so easy, but... yeah, no, that's not how it works.

For instance, one of my favorites is Markiplier... the guy makes millions on there. And that, to many, sounds easy: play video games, be funny, get the big bucks... right? But this means a lot of hours doing this (way, way more than you'd think... dont expect to have much free time doing this), a lot of pressure to constantly be humorous (and that's not easy), a lot of time spent coming up with new content ideas (because the #1 thing to avoid as a Youtuber is getting stale... that can entirely kill your career all at once, and coming up with GENUINELY new stuff so you're not retreading too often is REALLY hard), the need to constantly appear in a really good mood even when not, ya gotta be able to push through stress like it's not there, the actual content can take way more effort than it appears (many big Youtubers, and even mid-sized ones, will have actual editors working with them, because they do not have the time to do all that editing themselves), and the bit that I personally would find the most problematic: The need to absolutely ignore any and all physical/mental symptoms (such as chronic pain) in order to keep producing content. And the need to constantly INTERACT with others... regardless of wanting to or not.

Granted: It helps a lot, with something like that, if you really, genuinely enjoy what you're doing. But while that might sound like a super perfect job, well... I know how some channels are, and how very FOCUSED many are, and I gotta say, if I needed to make, oh, I dunno, League of Legends content every bloody day because that's expected of me, I'd have gone totally mad long ago in a way that even customer service jobs never managed.

And all of that is AFTER you spend all that time climbing the ladder. Like any of these people you're gonna start at the bottom and chances are, the numbers aint gonna climb very fast, and you're making no money whatsoever while at the bottom. But they simply kept doing it anyway (for most, it starts as a hobby... NOT a goal).

Also every bit of that is not even considering stuff like dealing with potentially dangerous fans or whatever, or all the travelling, or things like that.

That's all JUST Youtube. Who knows what loopy behind-the-scenes stuff someone on a different platform may have to do? Remember: the only thing that you, the viewer, sees is the final result. The final HEAVILY EDITED result. You dont see whatever went into making it. There are times when even something that is like, 1 minute long, could have taken 2 days to set up.

My point is: These sorts of jobs often seem like they're just so simple, so EASY, no work involved. But it's usually a lot more than you'd think. That's the case with a lot of things, really. Heck, I'd had that idea about video game development, when I was your age. It's video games, right... it's gotta be constant fun... right? Hah! I've since been able to do some game-dev work (indie) and I gotta say... it's brutal. And that's WITHOUT "crunch". I cant imagine what the guys at the big studios go through.

What's that saying, grass is greener on the other side? Yeah. Always that. Just trust me on this.


Also: You're 18. You're literally just starting out. You arent exactly 95 and having any reason to wonder "why did I work at a Walgreens all my life" or something.
 
I thought doing art full time would be my dream, but I just replaced my previous job's work stressors with worrying all the time about my art.

As others have said, try not to compare yourself to others. Similarly - working from a young age does indeed show good dedication and work ethics.

For me - I found I needed that work/life balance, and art for me is best left as a free time undertaking instead of a full time way of making money. Especially as I only really like doing my own drawings - comissions upset and stress me out on a number of levels.

Ed
 
I am self-employed but that doesn't mean it's easy money and it certainly doesn't mean I'm rich lol. Far from it. Most of the money I have had to spend on big things (buying a house etc) is money I have been saving for years and years in addition to my current income. I'm very careful with money. There was a point where I was only spending $25-$50 a week because I was so afraid of overspending. Kind of silly in retrospect but it did save me a lot.
I also get assistance from family with a lot of medical bills because I have a crazy amount of them and it would be ridiculous to expect me to afford them on my own.

I agree with the others that working from a young age shows strong work ethics and a desire to succeed. You're only 18 years old, you have a long time to figure out potential careers :)

I also wonder how true it is that these Youtubers and other influencers are getting rich and earning so much easy money. I think a lot of it is probably a "flex" and is likely exaggerated or they actually have a job irl that's helping with their income. Like you said, unless it's a super famous channel or someone with millions of followers or something. The Internet can be a shady place.
 
I also wonder how true it is that these Youtubers and other influencers are getting rich and earning so much easy money. I think a lot of it is probably a "flex" and is likely exaggerated or they actually have a job irl that's helping with their income. Like you said, unless it's a super famous channel or someone with millions of followers or something. The Internet can be a shady place.
I've seen YouTubers talk about how it's made their lives unenjoyable. Many seem to find it a constant grind that causes anxiety and depression. It's a job where you have to constantly keep people's attention or disappear, making it very different from what most creative people have dealt with.
 
I also wonder how true it is that these Youtubers and other influencers are getting rich and earning so much easy money. I think a lot of it is probably a "flex" and is likely exaggerated or they actually have a job irl that's helping with their income. Like you said, unless it's a super famous channel or someone with millions of followers or something. The Internet can be a shady place.

They can make a good deal more than you might think.

Though it's worth noting that "makes a lot of money' on Youtube doesnt immediately mean "makes millions". I think there's an odd misconception there, with a lot of people thinking you either make zero, or you make millions.

For quite a few Youtubers, it's basically a job with enough pay to live relatively comfortably, in a pretty normal sort of way. But you dont usually hear about that because it's not very showy.

At the same time though, Youtube has a tendency to just make things abnormally difficult for everyone involved. I've heard rumors of videos with FIFTEEN ads in them. Fifteen. The site is downright unusable at that number, and that means not just for the viewer, but for the creator as well.

A lot of Youtubers also use things like Patreon, or they might make merch, or do other things that allow their fans to basically pay in ways that dont just feed Youtube itself. It depends on the individual though and their style and type of content they are making. And if they are using Patreon, that often means they are producing extra content on the side (that the backers get to see, that's part of the Patreon equation).
 
They can make a good deal more than you might think.

Though it's worth noting that "makes a lot of money' on Youtube doesnt immediately mean "makes millions". I think there's an odd misconception there, with a lot of people thinking you either make zero, or you make millions.

For quite a few Youtubers, it's basically a job with enough pay to live relatively comfortably, in a pretty normal sort of way. But you dont usually hear about that because it's not very showy.

At the same time though, Youtube has a tendency to just make things abnormally difficult for everyone involved. I've heard rumors of videos with FIFTEEN ads in them. Fifteen. The site is downright unusable at that number, and that means not just for the viewer, but for the creator as well.

A lot of Youtubers also use things like Patreon, or they might make merch, or do other things that allow their fans to basically pay in ways that dont just feed Youtube itself. It depends on the individual though and their style and type of content they are making. And if they are using Patreon, that often means they are producing extra content on the side (that the backers get to see, that's part of the Patreon equation).
Thanks for clarifying, sorry if my initial comment came off as rude. I guess I was under the impression that you either make nothing or you make a lot.

People have also incorrectly assumed that dog trainers don't make much money, and I have enough to live relatively comfortably as well. Of course, it depends on how many clients you have, and how many hours you work, and what your rates are, etc. But you can make a comfortable living working with dogs!

I haven't seen a Youtube video with fifteen ads yet, but that sounds like a nightmare. I have seen some with quite a few ads though. That must be insanely irritating for the creators, since it's irritating enough for me watching them.

I did know that a lot of Youtubers use Patreon. I'm not entirely sure what it does though, other than a way to get donations.
 
I see Patreon as kind of a modern day fan club, where differing tiers of monthly subscription amount gets you different levels of perks, with the top tiers usually having some combination of
* previews of upcoming content
* early access to content and/or merchandise sales
* bonus content (whether extra content, or "behind the scenes" type stuff)
 
I haven't seen a Youtube video with fifteen ads yet, but that sounds like a nightmare. I have seen some with quite a few ads though. That must be insanely irritating for the creators, since it's irritating enough for me watching them.

It's not just irritating for the creators, it lessens how much they can make. They get nothing for blocked ads, after all.

But Youtube cant comprehend this. In order to try to fight the inevitable rise of adblockers, the useless doorknobs that run things decided that the best course of action was to make it dumber.

If you're curious, this video explains it well:


The best part of all to me though is that ending bit. Google's gonna try to knock out adblockers? HAH. I think they're about to see just how much damage they've done... people use adblockers because they find the Net unusable without them, so people are gonna start migrating to Firefox. And then probably get EVEN MORE adblockers.

Though, even better, some groups are already finding ways to break the guards that are being put up in Chrome, and thus get their adblockers functional on there ANYWAY, so that's funny.

I did know that a lot of Youtubers use Patreon. I'm not entirely sure what it does though, other than a way to get donations.

Basically it's additional income, for the creators. It can also make up a lot for the amount of people that use adblockers (as the creators dont get ad revenue from blocked ads).

It also allows for creators to share things that either may not really fit anywhere else, or may not be videos whatsoever. Depends a lot on the individual creator.
 
It's not just irritating for the creators, it lessens how much they can make. They get nothing for blocked ads, after all.

But Youtube cant comprehend this. In order to try to fight the inevitable rise of adblockers, the useless doorknobs that run things decided that the best course of action was to make it dumber.

If you're curious, this video explains it well:


The best part of all to me though is that ending bit. Google's gonna try to knock out adblockers? HAH. I think they're about to see just how much damage they've done... people use adblockers because they find the Net unusable without them, so people are gonna start migrating to Firefox. And then probably get EVEN MORE adblockers.

Though, even better, some groups are already finding ways to break the guards that are being put up in Chrome, and thus get their adblockers functional on there ANYWAY, so that's funny.



Basically it's additional income, for the creators. It can also make up a lot for the amount of people that use adblockers (as the creators dont get ad revenue from blocked ads).

It also allows for creators to share things that either may not really fit anywhere else, or may not be videos whatsoever. Depends a lot on the individual creator.

I don't think ads work anymore, after being exposed to annoying ads for years I tune out mentally the moment I see an ad. And not just on the internet, tv too. It certainly doesn't make me buy anything. I think it has come to a point where ads keep me from buying what they advertise because the ads are so annoying. I tried to watch a woodworking video on youtube the other day, but it had ads every 4 minutes! So I just turned it off and did something else, it's not worth it.
 
I don't think ads work anymore, after being exposed to annoying ads for years I tune out mentally the moment I see an ad. And not just on the internet, tv too. It certainly doesn't make me buy anything. I think it has come to a point where ads keep me from buying what they advertise because the ads are so annoying. I tried to watch a woodworking video on youtube the other day, but it had ads every 4 minutes! So I just turned it off and did something else, it's not worth it.

Yeah it's the same here. Fastest way to get me to NOT buy something is to wave an ad for it at me. It's also a fast way to get me to buy a competing product just out of spite, because I'm petty like that.

Honestly I cant tolerate Youtube and such *at all* if there are ads on it. So I've got them all blocked, all the time. I dont know how anyone uses the site without blockers, I really dont.

What always gets me is that the executives behind this nonsense cant understand the problem. It's not even just the matter of an ad being an ad... it IS possible to do them right, but nobody seems to know how now.

For an example of them done right, look up the Wilkins Coffee commercials by Jim Henson on Youtube (if you can tolerate the site enough). Generally there's compilations of these things. These commercials are OLD. Like, real old. Black-n-white sort of old. They are SHORT. A huge compilation of them can fit into about 2 minutes. Like... 7-10 seconds or so each. I quite like them, I have some of these saved on my favorites list on Youtube because they're so darned entertaining. Ads that dont suck, what a concept.

I cant remember a single bloody product I've seen in modern ads. Not one. But I do know what Wilkins Coffee is, even though I dont drink coffee.



Oh, and I want to point out that this does connect back to OP's topic here, well... all of this nonsense is one of the things that influencers & content creators often have to deal with. Even further than that though, many actually will end up needing to do sponsored content, which means them making ads themselves for these products and injecting them into their content (and then the quality of said ad is entirely dependent on the skill of the creator... theoretically). So, that's another thing ya gotta deal with in this line of business. It's a thing you absolutely see evidence of but nobody really thinks about it when they consider what this line of work entails.
 
Social media has a fifteen second, (not the fifteen minute) shelf life. It is shiny, a bit giddy, and full of instant gratification. All things that are on par with being eighteen and really starting to define who you are.

Feeling jealous of successful peers is a pretty common phenomenon. The fact that you acknowledge the feeling augers well for your self awareness and emotional growth. There are a lot of folks, who although decades older, who are never able to acknowledge such feelings. They are perfectly normal and they happen. It doesn't indicate a character flaw or failure in any way.

Keep in mind that while most people are physically done growing by eighteen, most brains do not physically mature until around age 25.

You've worked the same job for two years. You know the direction you want to go. You have decent foundation stones in place, which at eighteen is a really big thing.

It is akin to Roman concrete versus modern concrete. Roman concrete takes much longer to harden and cure while modern concrete sets up insanely fast. Roman concrete gets stronger as it ages (the Pantheon is more than 2000 years old and still standing) rather than starting to degrade almost as soon as it is set. Modern concrete fails completely in less than fifty years.

Keep in mind that time is on your side and it is okay to live life at your pace. Don't let flash pan 'influencers' devalue realistic and reachable goals. Making content because you enjoy it is truly what matters and monetizing that can make a special interest into an anxiety inducing nightmare.
 
Do your endeavors and keep working. The goal is amassing cash to live off of and maybe retire at some point in your life. Some people have the sole goal of not spending money and retiring at age 50 years old with enough money to live on paying bills.

I told my one friend, you need to have a home to live in as she is in her 40's. Now her mom is living with her, and she is so grateful that she doesn't pay rental prices because she did buy a villa.

That's so great your dad drives you to work. Your family sounds supportive. You may have to support yourself one day if anything happens to your family so keep moving forward with your ambitions. :)
 
I've always thought it to be unproductive to look at the very few people in entertainment and sports who make relatively large amounts of money and at youthful ages. Despite how they are "in our faces", just do the math.

The reality being that they are actually the exception and not the rule compared to the vast majority of us who work much harder, and make much less. Where financial independence usually takes time in terms of years.

My biggest jump in income didn't happen until my early 40s.
 
Last edited:
Most people never achieve their dreams
Did you mean this in a constructive way? Like be aware of your dreams and adapt them as much as possible into achievable goals?

Dreams are achievable. Not everyone can turn dreams into reality, but I would argue that many people achieve their dreams.

But I don’t think either one of us have any solid data on this. So just surmising here.
 
Most people never achieve their dreams

Yes, but most people set the bar way too high. My favorite question / response for a lot of younger people is, "What would you rather be doing right now regardless of income? Do that, regardless of income."

If that's completely unattainable somehow, then the bar is definitely way too high
 
Did you mean this in a constructive way? Like be aware of your dreams and adapt them as much as possible into achievable goals?

Dreams are achievable. Not everyone can turn dreams into reality, but I would argue that many people achieve their dreams.

But I don’t think either one of us have any solid data on this. So just surmising here.
If anything I think it's just a matter of tempering one's dreams closer rather than further away from reality.

In this sense I believe such dreams are possible. But one must be always mindful of how dynamic human existence can be, especially given the rigors of global economics and other considerations so often beyond our control.

Unfortunately for me, my biggest dream ended when I was only 26. When the dream job opportunity came my way, but turned into an ugly process of "bait and switch". Where the work I sought evolved into something of a nightmare through an elaborate hiring process.

Though I still decided on a radical career change, from an insurance underwriter to a website designer. Which worked, but like so many other things, didn't last over economic issues far beyond my control. Life is so dynamic....
 

New Threads

Top Bottom